Category: Pregnancy + Motherhood

Serving as the Glue to Keep My Care Together: Advice from an IBD mom

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For as long as Danielle Fries can remember, Crohn’s disease has been part of her story. Even though she was officially diagnosed with IBD at age 13, she had stomach issues since infancy. Over the last 16 years, she has tried medications, diet adjustments, holistic treatment options, and therapy to reach a happy balance and remission. This week she shares her experience of flaring during pregnancy and how she managed to bring her baby girl into this world and take care of herself at the same time.

When I found out I was expecting, my GI health was stable. I was only taking Lialda and my most recent colonoscopy showed minimal signs of disease, which left me feeling confident. After my first OB appointment, I was referred to MFM (maternal and fetal medicine) for a consult solely because I had Crohn’s and the pregnancy is considered high risk when you have IBD. The MFM specialist took my history, let me ask more than enough questions, and ultimately decided I was on track for a healthy pregnancy. We parted ways feeling confident that my disease was under control and I should return in the third trimester for one more consult to confirm all was well.

My Crohn’s disease had different plans

I struggled early on with morning sickness but something about those stomach pains felt different. As a Crohn’s patient for more than a decade, it can be easy to tell when something is off. By 12 weeks, it was very evident that these symptoms – cramping, nausea, burning, bleeding, the works – were more than just morning sickness. I was on my way to a full-blown flare and my little one growing inside me was stuck for the ride.

My first feeling was fear. I was terrified enough about becoming a mom, but now that my Crohn’s complicated the pregnancy, my mind started racing. Would the baby be able to grow properly? Would the baby end up with complications? Would I make my baby sick? Will my baby end up with Crohn’s like me? The anxiety and unknown of the situation felt beyond overwhelming and I knew I needed to find the right support system to make me feel somewhat in control of all the chaos.

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29 weeks pregnant with baby Nora

Turning to my most trusted fellow IBD warrior, my mom

My mom was my first source of reason. She could understand and relate to what I was going through more than anyone since she too has Crohn’s. She got diagnosed while pregnant and flaring with me! While her Crohn’s has never been as severe as mine, it really helped to find someone who related to the fears and uncertainty I was experiencing and made it through with a positive outcome.

I was extremely fortunate to find a group of specialists to help bring some answers and clarity to my journey. The entire pregnancy I was in close contact with both my OB and the MFM. The MFM was honest in her lack of understanding of how Crohn’s disease can fully affect the pregnancy and referred me to a GI she trusted. My new GI doctor became my confidant, my champion, my source of calm in the pregnancy. She specialized in the intersection of women’s health and Crohn’s disease, with a specific interest in pregnant women. Finding a GI doctor who I trusted to lead me with a care plan for both my Crohn’s and my baby’s development was the greatest sense of relief I felt since the day I found out I was expecting.

Struggles in the Second Trimester

As I entered the second trimester, I struggled to gain weight and it became apparent that my baby was suffering from intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). My doctor’s visits became more frequent, the tests (non-stress tests, growth ultrasounds, blood flow ultrasounds) increased and I found myself at the doctor 3-5 times a week. As the visits and tests increase, so did my constant questions, fears, and uncertainties. Never ever be afraid to ask questions – you are the one on the journey and deserve to understand what is going on!

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Final date night at 37.5 weeks

I quickly learned that while I was lucky enough to have three doctors in my court supporting myself and my baby, I still had to be my own advocate. Each doctor had their own niche of where they could help, and I had to serve as the glue to keep my care as one seamless plan. I trusted all the doctors, but wish they could have just had a conference call titled “What the heck to do with Danielle Fries and baby?” rather than leave me playing telephone in the middle. But I learned to be the squeaky wheel to advocate for my health and my baby’s health and not fall through the cracks.

An early induction

After many weeks of testing, deliberation, questions, and my baby’s decreasing growth, my doctors and I decided as a team that an early induction was the best course of action. The OB and MFM felt confident that my baby would grow better on the outside than on the inside and the GI doctor wanted to be able to get my health back in control. I trusted my doctors and asked way too many questions, but felt more confident with a plan of action.

My trust in my care team paid off. Baby Nora was born teeny at 38 weeks and measured in at the 3rd percentile. She spent a few days in the NICU while she gained her strength and learned to breathe on her own. Now that teeny nugget is 6 months old and weighing in at the 90th percentile! I complain daily about how heavy she has gotten and that carrying my baby is more work than going to the gym, but I feel so fortunate. Every single roll (and trust me, they are endless) is a reminder that this girl and I were cared for by the best team of doctors who were by our side every step of the way and gave us both our health. Just after giving birth, I started a new treatment regimen of Stelara shots every 4 weeks and I finally feel like I have my Crohn’s disease back under control.

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Three lessons from one IBD mom to another

  1. Find doctors/care team you trust. You will be talking to them a lot and you need to feel comfortable asking anything.
  2. It is okay to be scared. The unknown is scary and add in the hormones, and it’s a recipe for more! But as much as you may be afraid, you can and will do it and your baby will be okay too!
  3. Be willing to adapt. Whether it’s your timeline for getting pregnant, your birth plan, your own treatment regimen, testing, doctors visit frequency, something is bound to change. I really did not want to be induced (I had heard horror stories of 4 days in labor), but ultimately all my doctors agreed that was the best option for me the baby. And things worked out fine (better than I ever expected!) DANIELLE

 

Crohn’s and COVID: Hear one IBD mom’s experience battling both

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Imagine having a fever for 31 days along with debilitating fatigue, a scratchy throat, cough, and trouble breathing. That was the case for Jessica I., age 34, of St. Louis. She is a COVID survivor, a Crohn’s warrior on immunosuppressant medications, a wife, a mom to two little ones, and an attorney.

Hindsight is 20-20 and of course we know a bit more about COVID-19 now than we did when quarantine and chaos ensued in mid-March, but let me take you back to how this all went down for Jessica and her family. DSC00747

Her daughters, age 4 and 19 months go to the same preschool and daycare. Their last day was March 11th. Jessica received an email from the director of the school saying a record number of teachers and students were out with the flu and strep. Except later it was determined the sickness going around the school was COVID-19. Two teachers landed in the ICU and multiple kids and parents tested positive in her older daughter’s class.

How the symptoms presented

“The first change was extreme fatigue and a scratchy throat, almost like cotton balls were stuck in my throat. Two days later I started with a low-grade fever. I felt pretty lousy for three days—fever, chills, and aches,” says Jessica. “I had one day where I felt better (March 26), but the following day I felt worse than before with a much higher fever and I had a dry cough. I felt constriction in my chest with every breath I took.”

Jessica’s husband was proactive and had ordered the family a pulse ox back in February, so she was able to monitor her oxygenation throughout her illness. She never dipped below 92, but the chills, painful aches, headaches, and fever from 99-101 stayed with her for over a month.

Still not 100%

“Though I no longer have a fever, I still have good days and bad days. I still have chills, aches, and extreme fatigue. It’s way more manageable, but I’m definitely not 100%,” says Jessica. “Luckily, I did not have the smell and taste issues, but because I felt so awful, I’ve lost 25 pounds.” 20190921_161434

Jessica is grateful her Crohn’s disease has not caused her problems in recent weeks. Diagnosed at age 12, IBD has been a part of her life for as long as she can remember.

She had two bad flares during her second pregnancy and most recently an eight-month flare last year. When her Remicade infusion was due this month, her GI was adamant she stay on schedule since she no longer had a fever. Jessica was terrified about getting a biologic on the heels of having COVID-19, so she chose to extend her medication schedule by one week. Her worries were justified.

“In 2006, I got my Remicade when I had mono (hadn’t known at the time) and got encephalitis and had to be in a UK hospital in the ICU for a month. I lost my ability to talk. I almost died. My GI doctor knows of this history, but insisted that I needed my Remicade because of my history of getting flares the last few years.”

Despite her apprehension, Jessica trusted her long-time physician’s recommendations and stayed on her Remicade and Imuran.

Balancing motherhood while fighting COVID-19

The first 12 days, Jessica isolated herself from her family in her master bedroom. Her husband worked a full-time job from home, while taking care of both girls on his own. Once Jessica’s fever persisted after two weeks, they decided as a family to have her come out of isolation because the burden was nearly impossible for her husband to continue to take on. Igielnik-8

“We knew almost for sure that my children were asymptomatic and gave me COVID-19. The next two weeks anytime I was out of my room I wore a mask and gloves. I didn’t make any food. This was so hard because I was still extremely sick and was just supervising play and TV watching for my girls. To this day, my husband and I are still sleeping in different rooms and not hugging and I’m not going anywhere near his food.”

Jessica’s husband is an avid news consumer and was following everything that was happening in China. He started to stockpile food and wipes back in January. Friends thought he was overreacting. His grandparents are Holocaust survivors. Jessica credits his “alertness” to that.

What Jessica wants people to know

Even though Jessica was able to fight the illness without being hospitalized, she says if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic, she would have gone to the hospital in “normal” times.

“Mild COVID isn’t mild COVID. What I had was considered mild and I was so sick for so long…and I’m still not feeling completely better. I think people would change their mind about the severity of this if they knew someone who had COVID-19 or they themselves experienced it.”

To this day, Jessica still has chest pain and backaches. Her care team believe she has inflammation in her lungs because she was sick for so long.

 

 

My family calls me “Sergeant COVID”: Navigating life while being high-risk, as the world reopens

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I’m preparing to feel like the bad guy in the months ahead. My family has already jokingly called me “Sergeant COVID”.  As an IBD mom who is immunocompromised, the decisions I make as the world starts to reopen may step on some toes. I’ve always been one to struggle with confrontation and take it upon myself to be a people-pleaser, which isn’t always a good thing. But this. This is different. I know there will be times I need to speak up and say no.

While out on a walk with my family in our neighborhood this week, we approached a house with two moms sitting side by side, a play date was going down.

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Daily walks and getting fresh air help to keep us sane!

Several kids ran around the yard. An SUV parked next to the two moms with their thermoses. I turned to my husband when I spotted them and said, “well there’s a playdate.” He laughed and said, “Are you not going to allow Reid and Sophia to see anyone for a year?”

Well, that’s a good question my friends. Who knows what these next few months will bring, and as someone who is immunocompromised from my biologic medication, that may need to be the reality if things don’t make a drastic turnaround for the better as far as number of cases and deaths.

I want to be together with my friends and family as much as the next person

I also understand the risk associated with getting together with people who have not taken social distancing and quarantine as strictly as my family has. I haven’t stayed in my house and neighborhood since March 12th and only ventured to the grocery store and for bloodwork once, to throw those efforts out the window. I haven’t cooked every meal for my family and refrained from ordering take out for nothing.

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Trying lots of new recipes has been a great distraction.

The moment I let my guard down before I feel comfortable, the moment I put myself or my family at risk.

As someone who’s worried about sickness from germs and flare-ups for years, I see this pandemic through a different lens than many. Anyone in the IBD community who is on immunosuppressive medication has a different perspective. I’m already anxious about having to justify my decisions to stay home as life slowly starts getting back to a new normal for everyone. But until I feel safe, we’ll be taking all the precautions.

I wonder just as much as the next person in the chronic illness community how to navigate these difficult conversations with well-meaning and otherwise “healthy” friends and family. When I hear about people getting together indoors, going for walks with people outside their nuclear family, having people over for BBQs, even being essential workers (which I know can’t be helped)—I know the date I’ll see those friends and family just gets pushed further away.

When things calm down, the first people my kids and I will see indoors, will be my parents, who have practiced strict social distancing and haven’t ventured out for anything but groceries. If they were out and about and seeing others, that wouldn’t be the case.

We all need to do what we feel comfortable with and worry less about hurting someone’s feelings or getting a little backlash for our decisions. Luckily, my husband Bobby has been extremely understanding and supportive and backs me up on how I feel. IMG-1529

The best thing we can do is over-communicate. Talk openly about life as someone who is immunocompromised and what recommendations and parameters around social distancing your care team has shared with you. By talking about what your doctor has told you, it validates your worries and fears.

It’s ok to feel disappointed and frustrated. Not everyone has been or will take social distancing and quarantining as seriously as you do. Focus on what you can control—and that is your actions and that of your families. You are doing all that you can to stay safe, and that’s what matters. I’ve had moments where I was physically shaking and so overwhelmed by emotions throughout these past few weeks—because of the actions of others. You see it on social media—the families getting together with several people for Easter, and birthdays, and Mother’s Day. People taking trips on airplanes. Social distancing block parties where people are all standing super close to one another. It’s truly mind-boggling and hard not be judgmental from my vantage point. If you need to cut down on social media or cut ties temporarily with those who you believe are acting irresponsibility, do what you need to do for your mental health and well-being.

We had originally planned to drop off my mother-in-law’s Mother’s Day gifts on the front porch and stay in our car, but my in-laws set up patio furniture on opposite sides of their large patio and we were able to hang out outside 20+ feet apart to exchange presents. It was nice to finally see one another from afar vs. through a window.

Constantly keep your finger on the pulse of research. There are so many physicians in the IBD community truthfully working around the clock to bring patients like us the latest and newest information about COVID-19 as it relates to Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis. Educate yourself on factual, research-based information. Follow top GI doctors on Twitter. Stay in touch with your care team and don’t hesitate to ask questions. Tune in for Facebook Lives and Twitter Chats from IBD Social Circle, IBD Moms, and many other great groups.

Lean on the patient community. Prior to the pandemic, life with a chronic illness already made us feel a bit like outsiders. IMG-1409Now more than ever, we’re being labeled as the “sickly”, the “disposable”, the “weak”, the list goes on. COVID-19 is not JUST about the elderly and immunocompromised, this is about everyone. As patients we have a unique perspective and understanding about the struggles we face daily and what it’s like to go through this challenging time. Connect with fellow patients online who get your reality, your emotion, and the whirlwind of going up against this invisible bogeyman. To refrain from social media, you can download awesome free apps like Gali Health and IBD Healthline, with helpful articles, community conversations, and chats by patients, for patients.

Your FOMO is nothing new. Chances are throughout your patient journey you’ve had to miss out on plans or cancel last minute. Will it be hard when the whole family or your group of friends are getting together, and you tell them you won’t be joining for the big “post-quarantine” reunion? YES. Of course. At the same time, you’ll probably feel comforted not having to worry if so and so is asymptomatic and waiting on pins and needles for two weeks to see if you’re in the clear.

I look so forward to the day when my family and I can reunite with those we love and miss dearly. I just ask that people have understanding, patience, and empathy for those like myself, who will be very fearful to return to life as we used to know it…if that will ever be. Maybe put on the kid gloves and imagine walking in our shoes before you say something that you can never take back.

IBD mom offers up 5 tips for productively working from home

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Twenty years ago, Katy Love, was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. She was a sophomore in college. She could barely make it out of bed some days, due to the enormous amount of pain and overwhelming fatigue. After her diagnosis and subsequent surgeries, she wondered if she’d ever be able to have a “real job” – like many of us in the chronic illness community, she worried about how she would be able to work and manage her illness. Katy didn’t allow her diagnosis to prevent her from following her personal or professional dreams. Now as an IBD mom, running her own PR business from home, in the middle of a pandemic, she has some advice to share about being successful in the face of adversity. Boulder_Headshots_043

After graduating from college, I took a job at an interactive advertising agency. My dream job. Then, reality set in. I needed to ask for accommodations for my Crohn’s disease– I had to ask for a flexible schedule – one where I could work from home when needed.

I was elated when the agency agreed. Since then, I’ve been blessed to work with several teams (for other companies) that understood my illness and trusted me to work remotely when needed. As someone who has worked from home quite often during my career, due to a chronic illness, I’ve learned a few helpful best practices that have helped save me time… and my sanity.

Create a realistic routine and office hours. If you know you can’t start working until 9 a.m., due to family obligations, don’t start your work time until 9 a.m. Then, plan accordingly for your end time each day. Be sure to share your office hours with your family and colleagues. It’s important for everyone to know when you’re working. Also be patient with your new schedule. As with all new things, it will take some time to become a true routine. This is all new territory – working from home is a normal occurrence for me, however, having all my children and my spouse at home, while trying to work from home, is a new challenge.

Get Dressed. Every single day. I know this may sound silly, as you haven’t left the house in weeks. But I find this extremely important. It sets the tone for the day. When you look the part, you’re much more likely to feel the part. Plus, with all the Zoom calls, you want to look like you aren’t wearing yesterday’s PJs for the weekly team meeting.

Establish a defined workspace. You need an area where you know – this is my desk, my work zone. Your family members know that when you are there, you are working. Working from bed sounds delightful…I love my bed. However, it’s easy to be distracted if you’re not in a specific workspace. IMG_0846Also, surround your workspace with all that you may need during the day. Computer, chargers, phone, etc. I like to also put candles or fresh flowers near my workspace – they smell great and elevate my mood. With spring finally here, go outside and pick a few flowers and put them in a mason jar. Anything that makes you smile and motivates you.

Communication is KEY. I learned this early on in my career. Just because you’re not in physical sight of your team, and your employer, you want them to know you’re ON and working. The worst thing you can do is go dark. If they don’t see you, hear from you, it’s easy to assume you aren’t taking working from home seriously. So, over-communicate with your team during this time.

Take breaks throughout the day. When you’re setting up your new routine/office hours, schedule breaks into the day. Personally, I like to work out in the mornings. So, finding 30 minutes to hop on my bike sets my day up for success. In the afternoon, take a walk outside, or bake with your kids. Katy_Vince_Family_138It’s extremely important to incorporate self-care into your routine right now. There’s so much uncertainty and doom/gloom in the news. Make sure you are taking time to appreciate yourself, your team, and your family, while keeping your health as a top a priority.

 

Seeing the beauty through the struggle: IBD mom welcomes third child amidst COVID-19 pandemic

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Welcoming a baby into the world brings so many emotions to the surface. For IBD mom, Suzy Burnett, of Madison, Wisconsin, it’s been a rollercoaster. She had her third baby, Guy Richard, February 29th. IMG_0146Right before COVID-19 started wreaking havoc in the States. Before Guy was born, Suzy’s biggest fear was a postpartum flare. After the birth of her second oldest daughter, Alice, she had the worst Crohn’s flare of her life and was hospitalized.

Now, as her and her family face the COVID-19 pandemic, she has a new set of concerns. Will Guy be able to stay healthy until his immune system matures a bit? How will her daughters adjust to the new addition? Will she be able to stay well despite being immunocompromised? COVID-19 added a whole new slew of uphill battles that she or anyone else for that matter hasn’t been prepared to deal with. This week Suzy shares her perspective as an IBD mom, doing all she can to protect herself and her family in the face of this viral war.

As anyone who has ever had a baby, you know those first two weeks, involve several doctor appointments. Guy still had high bilirubin levels when we brought him home, so this meant we needed to make extra trips to his pediatrician. Sounds easy, right? There was so much involved this time around. Babies don’t have that immunity built up yet, so we had to use a special entrance, and go straight to our room to avoid any contact with the public. I couldn’t help but glance at the waiting room and see all the long faces adorned with facial masks. It was swimming with sick kiddos. I felt incredibly lucky at that moment as we escaped the chesty coughs, and furniture that had been saturated in illness.IMG_0147

One week went by, and things quickly changed to Zoom and FaceTime appointments. Not only did the baby’s appointments change…but mine did as well. Those of us with Crohn’s disease can’t always get by with a virtual chat about our symptoms. But here we are.

Navigating health issues brought on by my IBD

Many people with IBD develop extra-intestinal manifestations. IMG_0144Unfortunately, when I was put on prednisone last summer, I developed extremely high eye pressures. I was diagnosed as “Glaucoma suspect” at 40 years old, meaning I have some risk of the disease, but no proven damage (yet), so my eyes are monitored often.

I’m also dealing with an external hemorrhoid, thanks to excessive diarrhea, along with an anal fissure, all while caring for three children—one being a newborn.

For those of you who don’t know, an anal fissure is a small tear in the thin, moist tissue (mucosa) that lines the anus. I’m treating the fissure with topical lidocaine and a suppository three times per day. I’ve had my fair share of pain, but this ranks right up there with my non-sedated sigmoidoscopy and childbirth. It feels like broken glass, or razor blades back there. There’s a chance this has progressed to a fistula, and I may require surgery in the weeks to come.

Normally, I would be seen right away, but due to the current COVID-19 crisis, it’s been several phone calls back and forth with the nurses triaging my symptoms. I’m confident the hemorrhoid will go away, but if the fissure doesn’t, I might be facing surgery, and right now a trip to the hospital could be life threatening.

Seeing the beauty through the struggle

Amidst this horrific event that is crippling our world, there is an unexpected beauty that has surfaced. Our wonderful party of five has become closer than close. Yes, there are times when we all go a bit loony, but we’re embracing this time together. My kids are my world, my everything. I need to be the best version of myself, and a huge part of that now and forever is not letting my IBD win. Even when my disease has a strong hold on me, I never let my kids see the struggle.

If you’re reading this and you’re unsure about whether you’ll be able to handle your IBD and motherhood, I’m here to tell you it’s possible. IMG_0148As a woman and a mom of three who has battled Crohn’s since 2008, I believe if it’s your dream to have children, or a family, you should most definitely pursue that. Consult with your GI and OB doctors prior to getting pregnant, and make sure you’re in remission. Pregnancy can be challenging, but if you’re also flaring, it’s that much harder.

As we all experience the change in our day-to-day lives during the COVID-19 pandemic, whether you have IBD or not, there has been a return to simplicity. A back to basics mentality that is exponentially refreshing. Take a walk outside and breathe in and out. Right now, we’re forced to take our time, dig deep, and focus on our inner beings. Much like the experience of dealing with the diagnosis of IBD, it’s a time to peel back those layers and re-discover YOU.

Follow Suzy’s journey by checking out her blog: Crohnie Mommy