Navigating IBD & Pregnancy: Difficulty deciphering aches and pains

Pregnancy is a magical miracle. You witness the creation of life within yourself and see your body transform in ways you never knew possible. When you live with a chronic illness like Crohn’s disease and experience a pregnancy, there are added layers. A layer of worry. A layer of concern. A layer of wonder. When you have a chronic illness that can flare up at any given moment—it’s one thing to have the ticking time bomb feeling when it’s just you…it’s entirely different when you have a family to care for and a baby in your belly.

IMG_3453This Friday, I’ll be 27 weeks complete with my baby girl. My January due date is quickly approaching. Time is going both fast and slow. For the most part, my Crohn’s has behaved itself. But, there have been multiple times where I can’t seem to decipher if what I’m feeling is related to pregnancy aches and pains or my IBD. The burning and gnawing feeling in my abdomen often feels so reminiscent of the beginning of a bowel obstruction that I can’t help but fear the worst.

With my son, Reid, I was lucky enough to never have a contraction, never dilate or efface and went into my scheduled c-section without having any pain. This time around, I’m not so sure things will go as smoothly. How are we supposed to determine the difference between round ligament pain and Crohn’s? What about a contraction and Crohn’s? So many IBD mamas who have gone through a flare and labor say the pain is very similar, if not worse than delivering a child. Yeah. Take that in for a second.

Even after more than 13 years of living with Crohn’s, I feel like a fish out of water at times with this pregnancy. It’s as if I’m relearning my body and the relationship I have with IBD all over again. IMG_3451It’s difficult because every single pregnancy is different and so is every single person’s IBD. My OB tells me that with a contraction the pain will come and go, and I’ll be able to see a pattern and time it, whereas Crohn’s pain will be constant.

I’ve noticed a few times in the last week that the pain will exacerbate if I eat something while my abdomen is burning. To me—that would be more Crohn’s, than pregnancy. I know I can’t be the only chronic illness mom who feels challenged by pregnancy symptoms and disease symptoms.

All of this is happening now, then there’s the looming fear of the all too common postpartum flare. I was nervous after my firstborn and have luckily stayed out of the hospital his entire life (he’s 18 months!), but this time could be different. You just never know when the disease is going to rear its ugly head.

IMG_3452My advice to myself and to all of you who may be dealing with these same fears and thoughts is to listen to your body. Be mindful of when you hurt, why you may be in pain and how often it’s taking place. Don’t turn a blind eye to your aches and don’t feel like a bother to your GI or OB. Reach out to your healthcare team and alert them when you have a concern, so they are aware of what’s going on. This is not a time to internalize your pain. This is a time to be vocal, be your own best advocate and start being the strong IBD mama that you are for your unborn child.

The story behind the announcement: Celebrating our rainbow baby

On Mother’s Day we received the best news. I woke up, took a pregnancy test and found out our little rainbow baby had arrived. Two months prior, I endured a miscarriage. It’s something I don’t talk about often, but something that still stings.

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Mother’s Day 2018-the day we found out we were pregnant.

Ironically, I would have been 13 weeks on Mother’s Day. We had planned to make the news public on that day. God had a different plan for our family and brought in new life that day instead. Each time I say “baby number 2” I hesitate, since it’s actually baby number 3.

For me, miscarriage was worrisome, because I didn’t want the stress or grief to throw my Crohn’s out of control. I didn’t want to jeopardize my health for the next pregnancy or for my family. I hesitated in whether to share about this experience, but know my words will help to shed light on something so many women go through, often in silence. As a chronic illness mom of a 15 month old son, I not only want to share the happy times, but also let you know my days are not all sunshine and rainbows. If you are reading this and yearning for a baby, know my heart is with you. If you’re concerned about your body that’s stricken with a chronic illness creating life, you are not alone. When you see a pregnancy announcement on social media, understand there may be a backstory you are unaware of. announcement

Pregnancy while battling Crohn’s disease, or any illness for that matter, is a constant state of unknowns. You never know if your body is going to fail you or how your medications are going to impact your unborn child. It’s a heavy weight to hold. The symptoms of pregnancy coupled with Crohn’s symptoms are a lot to handle, especially while chasing a toddler around. The fatigue is amplified ten fold. The benefit of pregnancy symptoms is that there is an end in sight, you know you’re feeling poorly for the best reason possible. It’s so much different than chronic illness, which is never-ending.

The key for me is staying proactive with my health. Recognizing when I need to slow down. When I need to lean heavily on my husband for help and trusting that my son will be “ok” if we spend a low key day at home. I find since I’ve brought a life into this world before, I am more confident in my body and what it’s capable of. I’ve witnessed that despite taking a biologic my entire first pregnancy, my son is the picture of health. It’s my hope that’s the case for our baby girl who is due in January.

As women and as mothers, there is so much to consider when going into a pregnancy and starting a family. My hope is that you don’t allow your chronic illness to rob you of your dreams, if this is what you aspire to have in your life. I use a healthcare team approach and seek care from a regular OB, high-risk OB and my gastroenterologist. blogbabyEveryone works together to watch me, the baby and the pregnancy every step of the way. We get an ultrasound once a month! I see that as a perk!

I’m so excited for what’s ahead for my family and hope and pray the second and third trimesters go smoothly and are flare-free. Thank you for all the support, well wishes and kind words. I share my story because I want to touch lives. I want to show that motherhood is possible, despite illness and that you too can find your rainbow.