One of my friends recently said I need to start doing more for me, that once I fill my own cup that energy and that fulfillment will spill onto others, without making me feel depleted and like I’m constantly in survival mode. As an IBD mom of two, who has lived with Crohn’s for more than 15 years, these challenging times we’re living in have forced us all to pause and refocus on what’s important and what we need to do to get by.
Today is my 37th birthday. Sounds a lot older than I feel, but chronic illness has a way of forcing you to grow up and mature well beyond your years. Between the pandemic, mom life, and my advocacy work, there hasn’t been much time for a breather. I feel as though I’ve been coasting for awhile. Coasting through the day to day. Coasting through remission. Coasting just to make it through.
I don’t want to coast anymore
If you’re feeling the same, please follow my lead and that of others, who have recognized they’re ready to do more to improve their quality of life.
I want to stop being such a “yes” person.
I want to stop making excuses.
I want to stop waking up when my kids call out for me and instead start my day with a cup of coffee outside on the patio or a workout, followed by a shower, while the house is calm and quiet.
I want to stop not asking for help.
I want to stop staying up so late binge watching TV or scrolling through my phone.
I want to stop going months on end without a night out with my husband (we’re going on a date tonight for the first time in over six months!)
I want to stop working seven days a week and being at everyone’s beckon call and instead set aside days where I’m offline and able to live in the moment.
I want to start prioritizing my health, my well-being, my marriage, my friendships, who I am outside of being a mom and a person with chronic illness, because while that’s a lot of me—it’s not all of me.
Finding the ‘Joie de vivre’
Let’s face it, this coronavirus nightmare isn’t ending anytime soon. Much like a chronic illness diagnosis—there is no end in sight. We all rise to that challenge day after day, and don’t think twice. I fear if I don’t start spending more time for myself, I may put my remission in jeopardy and that scares me, big time, because when you’re a mom and a wife, your flares impact a lot more than just you.
I look at this 37th year with a lot of hope and a lot of possibility. I’m eternally grateful for the life I have and the family and friends I have around me, near and far. Recognizing there’s a need for change is similar to the importance of being proactive in managing your illness and doing all the things you can to set yourself up for success—whether it’s seeing countless specialists for medical care and preventative screenings, taking medication, getting blood draws and scopes, etc.…I look at this form of self-care as just as important in managing my Crohn’s and giving myself the best shot of staying out of the hospital and flare-free.
Cheers to the next 365 days and beyond! Thank you for following my journey and for your support through the years. This blog is like one of my babies and being able to speak to you through it is one of the most cathartic aspects of my patient journey. If you’re feeling like you’re in a bit of a rut or a funk, remember self-care is not selfish. Now I just need to practice what I preach.