Colonoscopy Tips: My advice for you as a veteran Crohnie

It’s safe to say every prep for a colonoscopy is a shit show. The show just looks a bit different each time. I completed another annual colonoscopy this past Friday, and the process still keeps me on my toes, even after more than 17 years of living with Crohn’s disease. As those of us with IBD know, it’s so much more than the prep. It’s the anxiety of wondering if our disease is active. It’s the worry about whether our IBD is going to act up and be triggered by the ungodly amount of laxative we are ingesting in one sitting. It’s the fear of going through more trauma getting an IV and dealing with nurses and a care team we’re unfamiliar with. It’s resenting the fact that you’re a young person needing a colonoscopy…and the list goes on.

I did my second-ever pill prep (SUTAB) this time. I find swallowing 24 pills to be easier than guzzling anything that tastes unpleasant. There was a bit of a monkey wrench in my game plan this time around, when my gastroenterologist’s nurse informed me over the Patient Portal that magnesium citrate saline is recalled. Because of that, my doctor created an additional prep to make up for that. For some reason, the 24 pills deemed worthy for the rest of society to take to get cleaned out isn’t good enough. I received instructions two weeks prior to my scope that quite frankly scared the bejesus out of me.

Along with the 24 SUTAB pills and 96-plus ounces of water, patients are expected to:

  • Take 1,500 to 1,600 mg of magnesium citrate pills, twice (This adds 12 pills to the prep, and they are horse pills)
  • 30 ml of Milk of Magnesia
  • Two enemas…yes, you read this correctly.

…the moment I received this news, my chest tightened, and I started to freak out. Regardless of the prep you choose (you’re “allowed to choose any one you like:”) …this is also “required”. Knowing this ahead of time made my mind race and I kept going back and forth about whether I was going to put myself through it or be my own advocate and go a bit rogue. It’s a bit daunting when the instructions are in CAPS and there’s the threat of needing to do everything over again.

Here’s what I did for my prep

It’s easy to talk a big game and say “there’s no way I’m doing this” …but at the same time, there’s a worry that looms that if you don’t, you may need to do another scope because you aren’t cleaned out enough. I’ve always been a bit of a rule follower, so it tends to take a lot for me to go against the grain.

I always do a self-imposed liquid diet to give me some buffer in case I encounter issues with the prep. My last meal is generally the Sunday night before a Friday scope. I allowed myself some crackers on Monday night, but other than that, I was strictly liquids all week. It’s brutal, but it always pays off in the end.

I bought magnesium citrate pills, the SUTAB pills, and the fleet enemas. I didn’t bother getting the Milk of Magnesia.

I took the first 1,500 mg (6 pills) of magnesium citrate, starting at noon the day before my 11:30 am colonoscopy. To me, it was a lot easier doing the pills than having to drink an entire bottle of magnesium citrate, which immediately causes me to vomit. I then timed out the 12 SUTAB pills, by setting a timer on my phone. I took one every 2-3 minutes. All you do is take the pills with 16 ounces of water and then follow that with drinking 16 ounces of water two more times over a couple of hours. I was “done” with my prep by 4 pm the day before my scope and wasn’t running to the bathroom too much.

I went to bed and set my alarm for 5 a.m. with the intention of doing the other 12 SUTAB pills + the additional 6 magnesium citrate. At this point, I was still on the fence about whether I would try an enema.

I walked downstairs in my dark house as my family slept and turned on a few lights so I could lay all the pills out on the kitchen counter. It was just me—all these enormous pills—and my thoughts. I got the 12 SUTAB down and after about 30 minutes I started feeling ill. I ran to the bathroom and vomited quite a bit…at the end I puked up bright red blood. It was petrifying. I screamed for my husband while I was on my hands and knees on the bathroom floor at 6 am. He ran down the stairs and could see how much anguish I was in. I immediately called my mom who is a nurse and she told me not to take anymore pills and that my prep was done.

My mom, who lives out of town, has been with me for every single prep since diagnosis, but this time around, she wasn’t since it’s so close to the holidays. Not having her by my side added a bit to the stress. I asked her if I should do the enema and had some choice words. She told me not to do it. I agreed. Hospitals are running low on enemas right now, so the instructions said to “bring an enema to the hospital in case you need it.”

Speaking up prior to the procedure

My scope wasn’t until 11:30 a.m., unfortunately it was very busy at the hospital, so I didn’t get mine until 1:15 p.m. When you haven’t eaten in nearly a week and your head is pounding from dehydration, every minute feels like an eternity. When the nurse finally got me from the waiting room, we got to the endoscopy suite and while I was still in my street clothes, she asked me if I had my enema with me. I froze in my tracks. I told her I forgot it on my counter (I purposefully forgot it on my counter) …and I proceeded to go into an explanation about how ridiculous it is to expect this of patients, how unnecessary and over the top it is and that I refuse to do it. She asked me if I did the enema earlier in the morning, I said no. To my surprise, she completely empathized with me and said she couldn’t agree more that it’s making all their procedures run late, that no other GI’s require it, and that she knows after 17 years with Crohn’s I know what I’m doing. She was whispering in cahoots with me, and it felt SO good to feel validated and heard.

When I told her I had difficult veins, rather than rolling her eyes or downplaying my fears, she listened and was so kind. She took a close look at all the options and ended up choosing a vein in my right hand. She got me with the first stick and immediately all my anxiety around the IV went away.

I informed my GI and anesthesiologist that I had vomited blood while doing the prep. They let me know that was from throwing up and it caused the capillaries in my esophagus and stomach to break and bleed. Because of that I was told prior to my procedure that in the event there was blood down below, an endoscopy would also need to be performed. Luckily that was not the case! I was given an antacid in my IV to help resolve any possible issues. I made the mistake this time of not taking my prescribed Zofran to prevent nausea. If you have a history of vomiting with prep, I highly recommend getting a script and taking this 30 minutes prior to starting your prep. In the moment, I was already taking so many pills I didn’t feel like adding one to the mix, but I wish I had.

The colonoscopy results

When I woke up from that amazing propofol nap I was thrilled when my GI gleefully walked into the recovery room with a huge smile on her face and told me that my small bowel and colon were “pristine”, that everything looked gorgeous, and that I was still in remission. The discharge notes state there is “normal mucosa in the entire examined colon” and that my “end-to-side ileo-colonic anastomosis” (where my small intestine was reattached to my large intestine from my bowel resection surgery in 2015) is characterized by “healthy appearing mucosa”. No biopsies were taken and the “quality of the bowel preparation was excellent”.

Remission is a complicated term and one I don’t take lightly. I reached surgical remission in 2015, after a decade of ups and downs. While I’m so grateful to continue the 7-year-streak of remission, I’m aware that tomorrow things can change. All any of us can do is focus on the right now and try not to dwell on what could be or what can happen. Remission is just a word—I didn’t do anything to deserve it, no one does. So much emphasis can be placed on being in remission, and I get that it can feel like a big deal—but IBD, whether you’re in “remission” or not is unpredictable, so there’s no sense in thinking you’re in the clear or invincible just because you’re told you’ve reached it. Remission does not mean you are completely free of symptoms.

My tips for going through a colonoscopy

  • Schedule your scope during an early time slot. Not only does this allow you to eat a lot sooner, but you’re also more likely to be taken right on schedule and not face any delays. For my 11:30 a.m. scope, I wasn’t at a restaurant until 3 p.m. I will say as an IBD mom, the 11:30 a.m. time was ideal in the fact I was able to get my two older kids ready for school and drop offs had already taken place before my husband and I left for the hospital.
  • Arrange childcare as you’re scheduling your scope. It’s challenging as an IBD mom or dad to have to worry about who is going to take care of your kids during procedures. Get the available dates for your colonoscopy and figure out childcare as you’re scheduling so there’s one less moving piece to deal with. My mother-in-law watched our kids from 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. and it was comforting to know I had nothing to worry about while my husband and I were away.
  • Add in some buffer with a liquid diet for a few days. I’m not saying you need to go crazy with the liquid diet, but even doing one extra day of liquids will really ease your prep when it comes to what you need to pass. It also gives you a bit of leverage if things don’t go as planned when you’re trying to get it all down.
  • Listen to your body and do what you’re comfortable with. While there are guidelines and recommendations if you are vomiting, feeling sick, struggling to make it through the prep, just do what you can. Don’t push yourself to the brink of putting your health at risk. The SUTAB pills specifically say “Do not take other laxatives” … so how is a patient supposed to feel when their GI tells them to do a laundry list of additional laxatives?! The general population does the prep, without any add-ons. We should be able to do the same. I had to chuckle when I was told my prep was excellent, when I went off the grid and did what I felt was best. Before my procedure I smiled at my doctor and told her I did my best…and that’s all they can ask for.
  • Get labs ahead of time. The past few years my care team has tried to save me a trip to the lab and tried to get lab work through my IV. Each time, it’s been a nightmare. Last year the nurse in recovery stuck me 8 times and I was so dehydrated she never got any blood. She was unkind and rough and left me in tears. That was it for me. This year, I did labs the Monday before my scope. Having that checked off my ever-growing patient to-do list eased my anxiety and the nurse who did my IV said because she didn’t need to get labs through my IV, the needle could be a lot smaller—score!
  • Count the pills. I noticed this time I was given one extra SUTAB pill in my prescription bottle. I triple counted to make sure. There should be 24, total. Make sure not to take any extra.
  • Be cognizant of the time of year you get your scope. Get tests and procedures done prior to the end of the year when you’ve most likely reached your deductible, so you save money. I have a bone scan scheduled this week as well, crossing everything off the list when it’s covered.
  • Always remember gummy bears are a liquid. I share this year after year but so many people still seem unaware that this is the case. The day prior to a scope you need to steer clear of red and purple gummy bears, but you can eat gummy bears throughout a liquid diet and the day before your scope. The ability to chew something and have something sweet is a gamechanger. It’s a great way to chase prep that doesn’t taste good, too. This time around my sweet daughter took it upon herself to take all the red gummy bears from the bag so I wouldn’t accidently eat one…she made a pile of red gummy bears and proceeded to eat all of them.
  • Check about patient savings options. SUTAB is a bit pricier than other preps, you can save by going to http://www.sutab.com and printing off a coupon that brings the cost down to $40 with most insurances. Look into this regardless of what prep you do to make sure you’re not overpaying.
  • Feel empowered in what you’ve endured. Going through colonoscopies with IBD is not for the faint of heart. Chances are you have your own routine and know what works for you. Stick to it and speak up if something doesn’t sit right with you. Plan that post- scope meal ahead of time and reward yourself afterwards. You’ve been through a lot and deserve to recover and rest.

Til next year…

A Registered Dietitians’s Take: Diet vs Medicine for IBD

Managing and treating inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) with medication is often necessary for those who live with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis. But for many, it’s a difficult decision that often comes with pushback and worry. This week on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s we hear from well-respected registered IBD dietitian and ulcerative colitis patient extraordinaire, Stacey Collins, about how she breeches this subject with patients and caregivers and how she utilizes her own patient journey to help empathize with those who are struggling to take the plunge.

Holding space and helping patients accept their reality

When it comes to needing medication, oftentimes conversations are harder on parents or caregivers, than the patients themselves. Stacey tries to encourage caregivers to find the support they need to accept the reality of their loved one needing medication to have a quality of life.

She says, “If someone wants to work with me on their nutrition “instead of medication,” I try to understand where the person is coming from. Usually, it’s from a place of fear, or uncertainty, and I really affirm that experience and hold space with them. Medications, side effects, accessibility, and adherence…it can all be so…heavy. There’s plenty of room to hold those two truths: meds are hard. And they’re often necessary.”

Stacey says when having these conversations she always begins with listening and holding space and then she puts her clinical hat on to ensure that it’s understood that these diseases are progressive and inflammatory, and that science shows that it’s best to get ahead of the inflammation, often with a medical provider, rather than chasing down the symptoms and the inflammation while quality of life suffers.

“I see my role as a registered dietitian as supportive of both treatment goals: helping patients have a quality of life, while assisting with the inflammation. But, I can’t provide medical nutrition therapy without the medicine component, and since diet isn’t ultimately the cause of these diseases, it works best as a complementary therapy with the support of a GI team; not as a cure.”

If patients aren’t trusting of their GI provider, Stacey tries to encourage them to seek out an IBD-specific GI doctor, if possible, while ensuring there’s also frequent follow-up with their local GI team, if they’re living somewhere rural. She says a lot of these conversations are born out of not feeling supported by GI providers, so she tries to help patients find GI’s who specialize in IBD, who are that are a better match.

“I’m upfront about not feeling comfortable about using nutrition in lieu of medication. That puts a lot of non-evidence-based pressure on my job as a dietitian, removes a lot of joy from the experience of eating, and further perpetuates the stigma associated with medicine. IBD is not a preventative metabolic disease, and patients should never feel blamed for eating their way into an autoimmune disease diagnosis. It’s simply not true, and it’s harmful messaging.”

How Stacey’s IBD journey inspired her to become a registered dietitian
 

At the time of her IBD diagnosis, Stacey was desperate for anything to stay alive. So, when it was either steroids, a biologic infusion, or having her colon removed, she was thankful the outcome wasn’t terminal.

“I happily agreed to the meds without even thinking about it. Within a month, I felt like a “normal” college student again, and honestly the changes that I experienced within my body due to the disease itself (losing my long, thick hair in clumps from malnutrition; seeing my body change rapidly to look emaciated), were far more difficult than any side effects from the medication. I felt like it was very much a night-to-day scenario, and I was so grateful for the medications as a result.”

But once she started feeling a little bit better and opened up to some family members about her disease, she heard a lot of negative chatter about the aggressive nature of the IV meds that she had “chosen” and thought, “Hmm. Maybe I’ll try juicing and holistic wellness,” never mind the fact that she was 21 years old with no professional support in making that decision.

“I quickly ended up hospitalized and needing an emergency Remicade infusion (the good ole days when hospitals kept it stocked in their pharmacy). The attending GI doc gave me some tough love, and really took the time to explain to me how “this is lifelong” and “you can’t be late on an infusion, because your immune system will lose response to the medication” and that really clicked for me. It was a hard moment and a tough pill to swallow, but it was a lesson of “maybe my well-meaning family members don’t know what’s best for me, and I’m going to have to trust my body, this med, and this doctor.”

In the years after, she went on to lose response to medications, start new ones, and it was always a night-to-day scenario all over again.

“I think this black/white sort of dichotomy of my experience on and off medication helped me accept that this was my reality pretty easily compared to others’ experience perhaps where maybe they’re less sick and the meds (not to mention the insurance gymnastics required to obtain them regularly) might seem daunting and leave people thinking, “Do I really need this?”. I was able to truly see that meds (and a whole GI team advocating on my behalf repeatedly for access to them) absolutely are the reason I’m still here.”

The challenge of receiving infusions

Infusions were psychologically a little “icky” for Stacey at first. She went from being a young, fun college student on campus with peers one minute… to driving 5 miles away to an infusion center where she was the youngest by a longshot, usually next to someone twice her age receiving chemotherapy or dialysis, and then she would go back to campus and pretend like nothing had happened.

“My boyfriend at the time (now husband) and I had a favorite haunt: Homeslice Pizza in Austin, Texas. Before my diagnosis, we were there on a date, and I spent the whole time in the bathroom. This was one of those places where there’s only one toilet…so I’d immediately finish and get back into line for the bathroom.He was really kind and said, “It’s okay! We’ll take it to-go, and when you’re feeling better, we’ll come back and have a pizza day and celebrate!”

Stacey says they were both so grateful for the night-to-day improvement with medicine that they named infusion days “Pizza Days” and this gave her a reason to look forward to infusion days, instead of dreading them. Over the years, we started inviting our friends to “Stacey’s Pizza Day” everywhere we moved: from Austin to Houston to Oklahoma City, and her friends had so much fun celebrating her infusion schedule every 2, 4, 6, or 8 weeks.

Utilizing research to help back the need for medication

As a dietitian, medications are out of Stacey’s scope of practice. As a patient, she knows them to be helpful. She tries to connect patients to resources so they can make informed decisions for themselves with a GI team that they trust. Resources like the IBD Medication Guide on the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation’s website are really useful, as well as IBD And Me if patients and caregivers are having some cognitive dissonance about finding a biologic that feels right for them.

“Then I’ll ask them about what their takeaways were. Sometimes, talking out these conversations really helps patients find useful, effective ways to communicate to their GI doctor, so while I understand that it’s not my role as a dietitian to provide guidance on medication selection, I’m happy to help patients sift through what sort of questions or concerns they need to express to their GI doctor. So often as patients we brush off our concerns or our fears because we don’t want to be a bother, and I really encourage patients to have these hard conversations with their GI provider; A good doctor will want to know.”

Why taking medication is not the “easy way out”

It’s fine to struggle with medications; medications can be hard. It’s not fine to feel shamed out of using them under the dogma of gut-health and over-supplementing, and unfortunately there’s a lot of misinformation in the IBD space of people professing left and right how they’ve “healed their gut” naturally.

“I feel like I’m uniquely in the middle of loving the science of nutrition and needing modern medicine to still be here. For me, it’s been damaging and debilitating to also make society comfortable with my need for medicine for so many years until I learned to let that go. Now I speak up when I can if it’s worth my energy. There’s nothing easy about needing medicine for life to stay alive, and the people who say otherwise just haven’t seen that in their life, and that’s okay. It’s not okay for them to think their experience can be applied to all people with gut health issues though. Would also love to have clarification on “gut health.” IBS? SIBO? Constipation? Nervous stomach? Gas? IBD? These are different things that can’t have the same, convenient solution.”

How we can rely on nutrition as a valuable tool in managing our IBD

Stacey sees nutrition as the shiniest, easiest available tool in a toolbox full of other tools: mental health, sleep, pain management/PT/movement, medicine, and surgery.

“Sometimes when I work with IBD patients, nutrition is not even the most important tool- it just depends on what’s going on in each person’s life. Maybe surgery is the most important tool, or it’s mental health. Different life moments with IBD will require different tools, and while my obvious favorite tool is nutrition, the other tools mean a lot, too.”

Nutrition is a tool that is compatible with all the other tools, and nutrition interventions might take some fine-tuning, mindset shifts, and some tailoring to each person’s lifestyle. But the beauty is that it can be picked up as needed, and that’s nutrition’s superpower: it’s a tool, and it’s also a bridge for connection, safety, comfort, and a quality of life within the context of IBD.

“I teach my patients individualized nutrition for IBD as the remissive/relapsing beast that it is, not just for what it looks like during the time that I work with them.”

Stacey’s advice for patients

  • Expect non-linear. Try not to compare. Feel the feelings, let the energy and the emotion move through you whatever way it needs to, brace for impact, and know you’re still here. Make room in your day to celebrate a good one!
  • Recognizing there can be two dualities that are true. You can hate needing medicine and be grateful that they kept you alive. You can feel deep sorrow for losing your health before you were old enough to acknowledge its presence and embrace this new, unprecedented, post-op reality, even though it’s different than what you expected.
  • Embrace your emotions. You can cryabout the reality of having needed an ostomy and be thrilled to eat a chocolate croissant in a moving car without pain BECAUSE the ostomy granted you a pain-free eating experience. You can be fearful about choosing a j-pouch and celebrate that it’s possible and wild to live with one.
  • Resenting the diagnosis is normal. You can resent your IBD diagnosis and be grateful for who you are with it (and thankful for all the people you’ve met because of your diagnosis!).
  • Lean on support groups and the IBD family. The support groups through the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation have been helpful for a lot of Stacey’s friends, and for her personally. She’s a huge fan of Spin4 and Team Challenge. Finding a safe, welcoming community who gets your reality (wherever that may be!) can be powerful and uniquely helpful.

You Bring the Spoons, They Bring the Science: How ImYoo is Working to Change the Narrative of IBD 

This article was sponsored by ImYoo. All thoughts and opinions shared are my own.

Precision medicine is a common term we hear when it comes to treating IBD now and into the future. But have you heard about citizen science as it relates to IBD? Citizen science gives everyone a chance to play an active role in research. Whether that’s coming up with research ideas or taking part in the experiments themselves, citizen science makes it possible for you to have a direct impact. A company spun out of Caltech is taking citizen science to a whole new level. ImYoo is debugging the human immune system by using at-home blood collection kits and single RNA sequencing to discover insights about autoimmune diseases.

Tatyana Dobreva and her co-founder, David Brown, worked at NASA prior to switching gears from space to focus on biotech.

“The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the process and highlighted for us what was missing. Since the pandemic, people are paying more attention to their immune systems. Immunology is still as much a mystery as outer space, so that was the next frontier we wanted to get involved in. We feel that the best way to take on that challenge is by building a database across time, for every individual – that is what can make personalized medicine possible and that is why we’re so focused on making this research accessible.”

Since IBD presents uniquely in each person and changes over time, it’s a rollercoaster journey of highs to lows, flares to remission. With all the twists, turns, and complexities that ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s create for each of us in the patient community, following a roadmap can seem impossible.

“Precision medicine tries to apply scientific tools to take out some of this guesswork. A lot of those tools look at the genetic material you inherited from your parents. We’re adding another tool to that kit by looking at the expression of those genes. For IBD, we want to figure out which genes and cells are acting up during a flare,” said Tatyana.

By answering these key questions, clinicians have told Tatyana that it will help gastroenterologists make more informed decisions when it comes to treating and managing IBD and patients can feel more empowered every step of the way. While making the decision to start a biologic can be overwhelming for patients, precision medicine is a way to have powerful data to support the choice to move forward with that treatment plan.

Tracking the immune system over time 

ImYoo’s focus is tracking a person’s immune system over time. Researchers do this by looking at RNA expression. Tatyana shared a fantastic analogy with me. She said that DNA is like the menu you get at a restaurant, RNA is your order, and proteins are your final meal.

“There are a lot of companies that look at your blueprint, or in this case your menu – all the possibilities. Our team at ImYoo looks at your cells’ orders over time. That way we can capture how the different immune cells in your blood are changing,” said Tatyana. 

IBD flareups are of specific interest to both clinicians and patients. Even after living with Crohn’s disease for more than 17 years, the unpredictability of the disease is still one of my main struggles. The looming thoughts of a flare are always with you.

“There is not much literature on what happens in the immune system during a flare, and we think there are a lot of powerful biomarkers that could be discovered if IBD patients could track themselves during flares and when they feel “normal.” Our IBD study will ask IBD warriors to sample themselves both during and outside of flares,” said Tatyana.

ImYoo built a solid foundation for studying autoimmunity because researchers were able to build a database of “normal” immune systems.

“Being the first to do this for single-cell data means we can provide a helpful reference to enable more single-cell studies for the future. By having a large database of “healthy” immune systems, we can provide more context as to what having a flare means with respect to dysfunctional immune systems.”

How IBD Patients Can Participate

ImYoo’s IBD study was inspired by conversations researchers had across Reddit and in a Facebook group. Patients in the community offered invaluable insights about what to research.

Emily Harari works as a liaison between the scientific team at ImYoo and the patient community. She says if a person demonstrates interest in participating in the study, a screening process will take place to determine eligibility. 

If you qualify, you are enrolled under an ethics-approved study protocol and sent a kit that includes a virtually painless capillary blood self-collection device called TAP II. The device allows you to participate in immune studies in the comfort of your home and send capillary blood samples directly to the ImYoo lab. The TAP II is placed on the upper arm and sticks with the help of a gentle adhesive, it barely penetrates the inner layer of your skin and feels like a suction cup.

“For the IBD study, we ask you to collect a few samples when you’re feeling well and a few samples when you’re flaring. The TAP II device is virtually painless and takes just a couple minutes to use. You’ll mail us the tube of your sample with the packaging we provide. After several weeks we’ll report updates from the lab and several weeks after that we’ll release our study’s findings to the community. Since the community is crowdsourcing the study for us, the least we can do is share what we discover. For example, we may find a new gene or an immune cell marker that helps your doctor better treat your flares,” said Emily.

The Power of Crowdsourcing 

The best part about a crowdsourced study is that anyone can make a difference. By visiting the ImYoo crowdsourcing page and selecting “Participate in this Study!” you are making a powerful impact. The more people with IBD who join, the more attention we can attract for crowdfunding. 

“If you’re eligible for the IBD study, we’ll reach out after we’ve hit our crowdfunding goal. To help us reach our goal, you can express an interest to participate or pitch in a donation to one of our Champions’ campaigns. There’s a network effect we’re going for, one person tapping into their community can open so many doors.”

If you’ve ever been told your labs or scopes look normal or there’s nothing more to do when you’re suffering through IBD, it’s simply not true. Everyone is on their own health journey and deserves a chance to take control of it. 

“That’s why ImYoo is excited to put innovative science in peoples’ hands. This research isn’t possible without the IBD community, which is why we invite IBD Warriors to pitch in however they can – skip a coffee and donate $5, express interest to participate, or simply share to your network,” said Emily.

“Our goal is to empower the IBD community with more powerful tools. One of the biggest questions we hear from IBD folks is, “Am I in remission yet?” You might be feeling fine and think you’re good, meanwhile your immune system could be attacking your colon,” explained Tatyana. “We hope to help people track their immune systems when they are most vulnerable.”

By enabling the IBD community to crowdsource our own studies, the power is in our hands. ImYoo wants to explain their research findings every step of the way and keep people engaged, because it really is a partnership. From this IBD study, the ImYoo team wants to prove that the IBD community can make their own research happen. By studying flares, the hope is that sequencing the state of individual immune cells will uncover predictors and targets for more accessible precision medicine.

Connect with ImYoo, Follow and Participate in the Research

Website

Kernl’s Study/Donation Page

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Roadmap to a Cure for Crohn’s Driven to Change IBD Landscape as We Know It

They call themselves “Propellers.” They’re a team of volunteers, made up of IBD patients and caregivers who created a non-profit called Propel a Cure for Crohn’s in 2016. They are laser focused on preventing and curing Crohn’s disease and, on the heels of their first research project funded at Stanford University in the world-renowned lab of Professor Mark Davis, they’re now determined to make a meaningful difference through their Roadmap to a Cure for Crohn’s effort. During this month (September 2022), they’re aiming to raise $50,000 to help get their latest project off the ground and to provide a solid foundation to bring their global team together.

This is a grassroots effort fueled by patient and parent volunteers. Patients and caregivers have an opportunity right now to directly influence a brighter future without Crohn’s! This is a peer-to-peer fundraiser—it’s not just about the monetary donations, but also sharing the message with others far and wide. Not only are international researchers involved, there are people all over the globe participating. In addition to the English-language campaign, there are also Swedish and Portuguese online campaigns running as well.

The Patient/Caregiver Perspective

Ildiko Mehes recalls what it was like when her 9-year-old daughter received her lifechanging Crohn’s disease diagnosis in 2017.

“As a parent, a serious diagnosis like Crohn’s is a huge shock, and it’s absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. Even during periods of remission, we are always on high alert and waiting for the other shoe to drop. At diagnosis, my whole world stopped, literally and figuratively. As irrational as it sounds, as a parent, you wish the rest of the world stopped with you to help you address the crisis. You wish that all of modern medicine rolled up their sleeves and urgently worked together to precisely diagnose the problem and bring her back to long-term health.”

As a caregiver, Ildiko has a unique sense of urgency and determination. She feels we need and can do better for IBD patients.

“When an otherwise healthy child, with no prior medical history, suddenly presents with IBD symptoms during a routine winter virus, you ask yourself “what caused this switch to be flipped?” Not having any answers to the underlying mechanism of disease onset or perpetuation, having a trial-and-error approach to disease management, and being forced to consider serious immunosuppressive medications with modest clinical trial benefits feels unacceptable as a parent. This is what drives me.”

As a pharmaceutical executive with more than 20 years of experience, Ildiko uses that unique skill set to go after complex and difficult goals with Propel a Cure and feels a deep sense of obligation to help our community.

“While there is excellent research ongoing in IBD, it happens in silos. It lacks global coordination and a plan. We don’t yet understand many basic things about Crohn’s. We are all just hoping for a “eureka moment” that hasn’t come over the last 100 years. We are continuously enticed with headlines of a “promising” new pathway or new drug candidate, usually in mice. And then that great idea sits there, with no progress made, a decade or more later. I know we can do better,” she said.

Natalie Muccioli Emery was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2011 and she’s also a Propel a Cure Board member. She started dealing with abdominal issues 26 years ago. Being a veteran patient has provided her with perspective about how far treating and managing IBD has come and how far we still have to go.

“Propel a Cure was the first organization whose mission resonated with me. I appreciate their mission to cure Crohn’s Disease, but I even more appreciate the fact that they have laid out a plan as to what the areas of knowns and remaining unknowns are in their Roadmap to a Cure for Crohn’s project. Complex issues like Crohn’s Disease will take a collaborative and systematic approach to address, and this cause has captured that,” said Natalie.

Not only is Natalie an IBD mom, she’s also an IBD aunt!

“I believe that as an adult with IBD, the way I embody the role of a “Crohn’s Warrior” is not for myself it is for the next generation. I have “been there and done all that” with Crohn’s. But just because I did it with Crohn’s doesn’t mean the next generation should have to. I grow increasingly concerned when I see the rising rates of IBDs like Crohn’s in younger people. I believe the rising rates of Crohn’s should create a sense of urgency and a desire for a better future.”

Putting the puzzle pieces together

The Roadmap to a Cure is an ambitious project but one that is needed to drive real progress toward cures and prevention of IBDs, not just talk about “cures” in some very distant future. Ildiko says the brilliant clinicians and scientists she has gotten to know all tell her that getting to a cure will take a grassroots effort, global collaboration, and involvement of patients and caregivers.

“We at Propel a Cure are deeply committed to doing exactly that. The first step in our project is to systematize what we already know about Crohn’s today. We know a great deal, thanks to research. But when we are talking about complex fields like genetics, epigenetics, immunology, microbiology, epidemiology, multi-omics platforms and artificial intelligence, etc. there is no way any one person or group can know everything. We need a large global group of dedicated and brilliant experts to put all the puzzle pieces we already have on one table so we can begin to then put the pieces together,” she explained.

Grabbing the attention of medical professionals and researchers

Propel a Cure grabbed the attention of Dr. Bram Verstockt, MD, PhD, Department of Gastroenterology and Hepatology, University Hospitals Leuven, on social media.

“I truly like the concept of joined forces across various stakeholders, including patients and caregivers. As clinicians and scientists, we can have ideas about how to move forward based on experiences and interactions with patients on a daily basis. However, the next step really is to involve patients actively in many of these projects, as is currently the case with Propel a Cure,” said Dr. Verstockt.

The “Roadmap to a Cure” aims to bring together expertise across many different fields and niches in IBD.

“Over the past decades, a lot of scientific evidence has been generated in multiple domains of Crohn’s disease, so now it’s time to bring all that evidence together and truly connect the dots. Only by doing so, one might unravel knowns and unknowns and highlight where the remaining key gaps are, and we can define the priorities and strategies of how to fill these gaps to significantly advance the field, to improve the lives of patients with Crohn’s disease,” said Dr. Verstockt.

Where the roadmap can take us

After the initial step of putting together the state of the art, the next step is identifying gaps in our knowledge: what puzzle pieces do we still need? The third step is to develop the plan, or the Research Roadmap, to get from what we know today to developing cures and prevention strategies.

“We truly believe in a future where we can prevent and cure Crohn’s and eliminate so much patient and family suffering,” said Ildiko.

The reason this requires a grassroots effort and all of us patients and caregivers to fund it, is that otherwise the current system largely doesn’t provide incentives for new ideas or cures or global collaborative efforts of this magnitude. A recent paper discusses how the same ideas have been funded for decades, with limited progress and that we urgently need new directions.

Ildiko believes the current research incentive model is broken. “If we want true progress and cures for Crohn’s and other IBDs, we need a new collaborative model among IBD foundations/nonprofits, patients, caregivers, researchers, clinicians, and others. I believe this can become a model for other chronic and immune-mediated diseases.”

Click here to watch a video where Ildiko explains the Roadmap to a Cure project further.

Hopes for the future

I would really like to see more key opinion leaders be brave about acknowledging the risks and limitations of current therapies, avoid putting lipstick on a pig when discussing some newer drug candidates in trials with lackluster results and the same mechanisms, dispense with biased headlines like “safe and effective” when the data is much more nuanced or unclear, and openness to “outside-the-box” ideas, like microbiome manipulation, including via diet, infectious triggers like Epstein-Barr virus in Multiple Sclerosis, vagus nerve stimulation, Fecal Microbiota Transplant (FMT), hyperbaric oxygen, etc. and also adopt routine monitoring via intestinal ultrasound for many patients,” said Ildiko.

As of now (September 12, 2022)—more than $26,609 has been raised!

“I have been overwhelmed by the response so far, as has the entire Propel team. People are really connecting with our mission. We are getting donations from so many states and countries! We have received more messages of profound thanks and hope than I can recount. This fuels us so much,” said Ildiko.

Natalie feels a wide range of emotions each time she sees a donation come in or the campaign shared across social media.

“I go from feeling hopeful, to introspective, to sad. I truly wish we did not have to do this campaign and that in 2022 we knew what the underlying cause(s) of Crohn’s are, and that safe, effective, reliable treatments were available for all Crohn’s patients. But here we are. Crohn’s is still very much part of the lives of patients and caregivers, and we need to take action to change that. I am so grateful for the outpouring of support we have received so far, but there is more work to be done!”

Propel a Cure has virtually no overhead fees or salaries, so every single dollar donated to Roadmap for a Cure goes to research.

We are all volunteers who work out of our homes. The donations will be put towards collaborative research teams worldwide. Each team will lead a contributing area to the development of Crohn’s Disease (environment, microbiome, immune system etc.) and highlight where the gaps in knowledge remain,” said Natalie.

“The ultimate dream obviously would be to cure and if not, to significantly improve the quality of life for millions of patients worldwide,” said Dr. Verstockt.

Click here to donate to this incredible cause or to join their team.

How an innovative prescription app looks to change the game for IBS and IBD patients

This blog was sponsored by Mahana Therapeutics. All thoughts and opinions shared are my own.

Did you know that two thirds of people with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) also meet the criteria for a functional GI disorder? Dr. Aline Charabaty, Dr. John Damianos, and Dr. Katie Dunleavy recently presented a paper at the 2022 Guild Conference addressing the substantial overlap between Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis and the gut-brain interaction. You may wonder what constitutes a functional GI disorder, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is the most common.

“What we know is that up to 30-40% of patients with IBD in remission (absence of gut inflammation) continue to have GI symptoms such as abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, and fecal urgency, due to disorders of gut-brain interaction (DGBIs, also known as functional gastrointestinal disorders),” explained Dr. Aline Charabaty, director of the IBD Center at Sibley Memorial Hospital.

As someone who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease more than 17 years ago, I’ve been told by multiple gastroenterologists that I have IBS as well. At one point I was told, “you have a touch of IBS” …whatever that’s supposed to mean. I know I am not alone in believing I have both IBD and IBS, especially since having 18 inches of my small intestine removed for bowel resection surgery in 2015.

Dr. Charabaty says this is the case for many patients because of the following:

  • Structural damage to the gut caused by IBD. Crohn’s disease can lead to small bowel stricture, which can cause cramps and constipation (by blocking or slowing down the stool flow); Long standing UC can create a “lead pipe colon” (where the colon loses its normal twists and turns that typically slow the stool flow down and become like a straight tube which makes the stool “fall” straight down), which can cause diarrhea and urgency. Resection of part of the small bowel and colon decreases the surface of the bowel that can absorb the water and solidify stools, which leads to loose stool. Finally change in bowel anatomy from stricture or resection, abdominal adhesions from prior inflammation, abscess, or surgery, can lead to small bowel bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) which can cause bloating, pain, diarrhea, or constipation.
  • People living with IBD can become intolerant to certain foods or modify their diet. This can lead to change in gut flora that affect gut functioning and lead to GI symptoms.
  • Recurrent flares or previous severe inflammation can lead to change in the gut sensation. Visceral hypersensitivity, gut motility, gut microbiome, intestinal permeability, and how someone perceives and tolerates all the sensations (pain, discomfort) that come from the gut. 
  • IBD affects people’s emotional and mental health and is associated with a higher incidence of depression and anxiety. We know that depression and anxiety can affect the gut functioning and lead to IBS symptoms.

“All these changes are similar to what we see in people living with IBS and can cause IBS and IBS symptoms in people living with IBD. Sometimes the way I explain it to patients with IBD, is that IBS is like the PTSD of the gut. The gut has been inflamed, traumatized, manipulated, changed from prior flare and now it can’t go back to functioning properly, even if it’s healed and it looks normal,” said Dr. Charabaty.

This is where Mahana IBS comes in. The main mission? To empower people with chronic conditions to lead fuller lives through digital therapeutics. That’s why they debuted their new prescription digital therapeutic app, Mahana IBS, in the fall of 2021. Their wish is to destigmatize IBS and bring hope and meaningful solutions to patients like you and me.

Steven Basta is the CEO of Mahana Therapeutics. He says the app is safe, FDA-cleared, and has been clinically proven in the world’s largest trial of its kind to reduce IBS symptom severity.

“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has long been recommended in clinical guidelines as a safe and effective treatment for IBS. Access to traditional CBT with a therapist has been a huge challenge due to the limited number of IBS-trained therapists (less than 300 in the US). Now patients can access CBT and learn the skills it provides to help a patient manage their disease by using Mahana IBS on their smartphone, with great results: 3 out of 4 patients find relief and results for most patients are lasting. Mahana users can complete the program in 90 days or less at their own pace with daily lessons on their phone to create a healthy brain-gut connection and live life more fully.”

Both IBD and IBS negatively impact our quality of life. Our mental health, our psychosocial health, and our financial health (increased health care utilization, missing days of work, medications to treat symptoms).

“Beyond treating the inflammation of IBD, and preventing IBD-associated complications, it is important to recognize and treat IBS when it is present, so people can recover and optimize their quality of life. CBT is an effective therapy for IBS and reduces or eliminates symptoms of abdominal pain, diarrhea, constipation, and bloating,” said Dr. Charabaty.

Unfortunately, access to a therapist who can provide gut-directed CBT can be limited: lack of therapists trained in CBT in someone’s geographical area, limited time availability (many therapists are not taking new patients, or have long waits to see someone; or from an IBD patients’ standpoint—lack of “extra” health care time available, when we often juggle many health appointments), deal with lack of insurance coverage, additional costs related to taking time off work and the expenses related to travel and participate in CBT sessions. Which makes the app even more useful and beneficial for the patient community.

Bringing up digital therapy to your GI provider

Digital therapy is new, and Mahana Therapeutics is working hard to spread awareness in the clinical and patient community to ensure everyone who could benefit, has access, and knows about Mahana IBS. 

“It’s important for patients living with IBD to ask their doctor whether Mahana IBS is suitable for them and discuss how it can work with their treatment plan,” said Steve.

As a gastroenterologist who specializes in IBD, Dr. Charabaty says, “Having an FDA-cleared prescription app that provides CBT right at the patient’s fingertips is pure gold! Easy and effective access to CBT at a time that is convenient for the patient, in the privacy of their home, without the added extra time and cost burden of a visit to a clinician. I believe that with this technology/app, which removes many barriers to accessing therapy for IBS, that many more people living with IBS (whether they have IBD or not) will benefit from what CBT has to offer and will be able to improve their symptoms and regain their quality of life.”

Patients who are in IBD remission experiencing IBS Symptoms may want to ask:

“If my IBD is in remission and my symptoms are IBS related, could a digital therapy treatment such as Mahana IBS gut-directed CBT be suitable for me?”

GIs who want to understand more about the clinical evidence and indications for use for Mahana IBS can head this website to check out the medical provider welcome pack which contains all the clinical information they need to get started and to prescribe Mahana IBS.

While the app is a prescription, patients can also download the app on their own and show their gastroenterologist in clinic. But to gain access to the full program, patients need to get a prescription to unlock the benefits.

How the app is tailored to each patient

People experience IBS differently which is why Mahana IBS provides a personalized approach, regardless of type of IBS. In the early sessions of the app, patients create an IBS symptoms profile, take an IBS Symptom Severity Score assessment, and create their personalized model. 

“This means people get to identify and capture their own symptoms and associated thoughts, behaviors and actions that arise as a result of these. As patients progress through the app and unlock tools and content, exercises are provided that are tailored to people’s individual IBS symptoms. Progress is recorded through the IBS Symptoms Severity Score at the beginning, the middle, and at the end of the program to measure results,” explained Steven.

Reframing thought process to reduce IBS symptoms

We can all relate to how feeling anxious can leave our ‘stomach in knots’ but in IBS there is a disorder of the brain-gut communication which causes and perpetuates symptoms. For example, our guts can release hormones that change our mood, and the brain in turn sends a signal to our guts to change our bowel functions which then sends more signals to the brain.

“Patients may develop habits or use ‘coping’ techniques that perpetuate the vicious cycle of brain-gut miscommunication without knowing it. The Mahana IBS app uses a gut-directed CBT program that was researched and developed over several decades. It is designed so you can understand your personalized patterns and then learn skills to help support a healthier brain-gut interaction. The program delivers a combination of education and exercises so that patients identify and reframe thoughts, feelings, and actions related to IBS. Through the Mahana IBS program, patients can gain tools and habits for managing symptoms long-term,” said Steven.

Along with learning to reframe our thoughts, the app also features visceral relaxation exercises like diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing, which can reduce visceral pain and improve GI function. Mahana IBS has easy to follow animations to help patients learn and practice these techniques.

While Mahana IBS is a treatment program designed to be completed in 90 days or less with lasting results, Steve tells me some patients may experience relief from their functional GI disorder within a matter of weeks.

“Patients go at their own pace, so they may complete the program more quickly. Once the 90 days have elapsed, patients can still access their personal data (for example goal setting, IBS-SSS score or their personal IBS Model). Patients can return to the app at any time to find support in any of the lessons, tools, and exercises they have completed.”

Accessing Mahana IBS 

Mahana is committed to affordable access. Some patients may be reimbursed by insurance. For those patients who are not covered by insurance, there is a subsidized program to ensure patients will pay no more than $90 out of pocket for prescription cost. That’s less than a single session with a therapist ($120/session) for the complete 10-session program.

Steven says it’s incredibly rewarding and a huge privilege to lead the Mahana team transforming access to treatments like this through digital therapy.

“As CEO of Mahana Therapeutics I am inspired by so many amazing patients with IBS.  One patient who had struggled for years with IBS symptoms that made her feel truly hopeless expressed that Mahana IBS changed her life.  With the lessons and skills she learned, she no longer avoids the food she loves, and the way she thinks about IBS has altered so completely, it no longer limits her life.  Our team’s mission is to make this story a reality for millions of IBS patients.”

Mahana IBS is available for download directly from the Apple App store and Google Play store—and the first session is free to try! To unlock all the specific features and benefits, you’ll want to get a prescription from your GI. Once you’ve been prescribed the app by your doctor, you will get a message from Blink Pharmacy with instructions to get started. 

Turning Over a New Leaf: The Lifestyle Changes This Single IBD Mom Made to Manage her Crohn’s

**Disclaimer: This article is in no way meant to offer medical advice or guidance. Medication to treat and manage IBD is NOT a failure. Please understand this is one person’s experience and journey. Prior to going off medication, consult with your gastroenterologist and care team.**

She was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 1991 at 19 years old. As a veteran patient and IBD mom of two teenagers, Kelli Young says the COVID-19 pandemic, along with turning 50, inspired her to dig deeper into her health journey and look beyond the “cookie cutter” approach to treating IBD. After multiple surgeries and decades of biologics and other medications, she was determined to try a different approach.

Much like many of us in the IBD community, we often choose to hide our disease from others. Kelli says 15 years of that strategy often left her feeling misunderstood. Once she started sharing and opening herself up to support, her world changed for the better. Anytime someone is sympathetic and says, “you poor thing,” Kelli reminds them that Crohn’s disease molded her in the person she is today and that everyone has problems, hers just happens to be IBD.

“Having lived more than half my life as an IBD patient, I knew I didn’t want to live the second half of my life the way I did the first half.”

Taking a closer look into food sensitivities

It’s no surprise the importance of diet has become a larger part of treating IBD in recent years, but there’s still a lot of gray area.

“Diet is often the one thing that the medical profession overlooks or provides the same generic diet to everyone, assuming everyone is the same. Diet is the #1 factor that affects your health in every way imaginable. Your energy, sleep, weight, sex drive, bowel movements, heart rate, and mood, just to name a few.”

Prior to changing her diet, Kelli connected with her longtime friend of more than 20 years, Dr. Sean Branham, a chiropractor who specializes in functional medicine. Dr. Branham ordered the Oxford Food Sensitivity Test. The test measures inflammation in the body on a cellular level. Food sensitivities are unique to each person, so it’s impossible to determine what your sensitivities are without getting tested. Reactions can also be delayed or be dose dependent.

Kelli says, “The Oxford Food Sensitivity Test looks at all types of white blood cells (Neutrophils, Lymphocytes, Monocytes and Eosinophils) and measures release of all pro-inflammatory chemicals like Cytokines, Histamines, Prostaglandins and Leukotrienes. Certain groups of foods are pro-inflammatory to humans because we may not contain all the enzymes to thoroughly break them down (like dairy). Other foods are pro-inflammatory because of their processing, like many different forms of sugar. Some are inflammatory due to genetic modification like gluten. Some healthy foods can create inflammation once digestive damage has been done and these partially digested foods leak across the digestive barrier and trigger an immune response.”

Customizing diet with Food Sensitivity results

Kelli’s tests results showed mushrooms, cashews, trout, mangos, green peas, coconut, among other foods, triggered an immune reaction. Once Kelli had her Food Sensitivity results in hand, her and Dr. Branham started to customize her diet.

“We first started by removing the bigger classes of pro-inflammatory foods like; dairy, sugar, gluten and soy and then assessed specific foods that were causing a problem for me individually.”

Along with removing these food groups from her diet, Kelli did a whole-body digestive cleanse that involved a specific diet with supplements, a shake, and a cream to rid the body the body of toxins, decrease inflammation, and cleanse the liver and digestive tract.

“Testing revealed that there were more than just digestive issues going on. I also had a blood sugar regulation problem, Estrogen dominance, nutrient deficiencies, a need for: digestive enzymes, immune support, and microbiome support. Once I completed the cleanse, we customized a supplement regimen specific to me based on my test results. We started with what Dr. Branham considered the most important things first and then as we corrected those issues, we moved on and tackled the next issue and so on.”

Celebrating a “new way of life”

As a single mom of a 19-year-old and a 16-year-old who have supported her through her IBD journey every step of the way, Kelli calls these lifestyle changes her “new way of life”.

When my son was between the ages of 8-12 years old, he was showing IBD symptoms, but he didn’t have IBD, he was experiencing empathic pains. He watched me, a single mother, battle with the daily struggles. I tried to hide it, but he saw right through me. Today he is 16, growing, thriving, and enjoying his healthy mother. My daughter, 19, the age at which I was diagnosed, is thriving as well. I am now able to truly be present in both of their lives.”

When Kelli and her husband divorced, her children were only 8 and 5 years old. As an IBD mom it made an already challenging time that much more complicated. She never dreamed she’d be at this place in her life health-wise.

“Back then I wondered how I was going to give myself my own shots, how I was going to care for two small children 50% of the time when I was always sick. Being a single mother with IBD forced me to take a good hard look at my life, not only for me, but for the sake of my children. My motto used to be “expect the unexpected” and “no expectations.” Today, I no longer worry about the future bad days or wonder if I’m going to be around to be a grandmother someday. Yes, it’s difficult at times to follow such a structured lifestyle, but it’s even more difficult living a life being chronically ill.”

Going off all meds

Kelli has been off all IBD medication since May 2021. She says her GI of 30 years is reluctantly supporting her decision to go this route on her patient journey. Kelli had a colonoscopy in June 2022, and after the scope in recovery he said, “Well Kelli, your new way of life is working. I’ve never seen your scope results look this good.”

While this lifestyle may seem “extreme” to some or difficult to follow, Kelli says she was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

“The definition of “remission” varies depending on who you ask. I am celebrating three years of a “disease free” diagnosis. The Crohn’s will ALWAYS be very much part of my life, but now, the only time I have a “bad day” is when I cheat on my new way of life, eating something I shouldn’t be eating, not getting enough sleep, not exercising, and not managing my stress.”   

My partner has IBD and so do I

Love can be extra complicated to find, trust, and open yourself up to when you have IBD. This week on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s we hear from five different IBD couples (dating and married), but they aren’t your typical couples. In these cases, both partners have IBD.

Emily + Jason

Emily Geist and her husband, Jason, of Pennsylvania had an unusual diagnosis journey. Their children were surprisingly diagnosed before they were! Their oldest daughter was diagnosed with IBD in 2014 when she was four years old. Then a few months later, their middle daughter was diagnosed with IBD at just 21 months old. Through the process, Emily and her husband were asked if they had any family history of IBD and the answer was “no” at the time.

Their diagnoses made my husband and I rethink the “sensitive stomachs” that we thought we had. We had previously talked with our health care providers, and no one thought of IBD, given our mild symptoms. Since I was pregnant with our third daughter when our second daughter was diagnosed, it took some time for me to see a GI and be diagnosed in 2016 with ulcerative colitis. My husband’s symptoms were more significant, and he ended up getting diagnosed with ulcerative colitis the same year as me.”

Emily says they were in shock after all four of them were diagnosed with IBD within a two-year period, not to mention having a newborn thrown into the mix!

“I joked that my husband and I were perfect for each other – so perfect we both had the same chronic disease and didn’t know it for the first 8 years of our marriage.”

She is grateful in a way for their delayed diagnoses as a couple, since passing along IBD when both partners have Crohn’s disease or ulcerative greatly increases.

“It was a blessing, in a way, that we had our family of three beautiful girls before we even knew we both had IBD. If my husband and I, and the two older girls had been diagnosed before I became pregnant with our third daughter, I am not sure what we would have done. And this thought hurts my heart, knowing the uniquely amazing kid we have in our third. We have watched our youngest so carefully for signs of IBD. Last fall, based on some very minor issues that might have been ignored in any other family, she had scopes and we found out she also has IBD at the age of six.”

Emily says Jason and her approach medical issues differently. He is calm, she’s a bit anxiety ridden. It’s always like that, right?!

“This works in my favor often as he can help calm me down. I lean hard on him during tough times. While we both have IBD, I think much of Jason’s empathy and support come from other health challenges he has faced. Jason was hospitalized as a teen for a (benign) sinus tumor and associated surgery. He also had cancer and underwent surgery and chemo for it. (We were married during his first round of chemo – but that is a whole other story!) He remembers what helped him in both of those situations and uses it to help our daughters and myself.”

Emily and Jason are on two different 5-ASA medications. Jason and two of the girls are on sulfasalazine, one daughter is on Remicade, another on Humira.

“There are two things I tell my girls: (1) Everyone has something…everyone has a challenge they work to overcome…and ours is IBD. (2) It takes intense pressure to create a diamond, we can deal with our ‘pressure’ and use it to become something rare and amazing.”

Amanda + David

Amanda Vogel moved to Colorado Springs in late August 2021. Two weeks after moving there, she started talking to a guy named David through a dating app. It just so happens they lived across the street from one another, so they planned to meet at a restaurant the following day.

The day we were supposed to meet, he texted me and said he had to cancel our date due to “stomach issues.” I immediately thought to myself, “Hmm, I wonder if he has Crohn’s disease”? I brushed it off, we continued to text back and forth and made plans for that weekend. While we were texting, I made a joke about him canceling on me again and that’s when he told me he had Crohn’s disease. I was mind blown and told him how I have Crohn’s myself. I shared with him my blog post from March 2020 and felt an instant connection. We were both diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at age 13 and both have the same incision on our stomachs.”

Amanda couldn’t believe these incredible coincidences or the odds of their paths crossing.

“It’s mostly an understanding of each other’s dietary preferences, with some gentle encouragement to try things in moderation here and there. Also, a no-explanation-needed approach to random stomach stuff that can pop up anytime.”

While she says there is a “baseline” of empathy and understanding, which is amazing, it’s surprised her how differently IBD presents in each of them.

“The most surprising thing has been being so close to someone else with the same diagnosis but with very different day-to-day and long-term symptoms, medications, and little personal details of the whole patient experience. It’s helped me understand that one of the frustrations of IBD is how differently it can affect people, which can make it difficult for others to really understand. For me, that translates to empathy in the form of knowing Crohn’s can interject itself into our day whether we expect it or not and making sure to accept that without blame or guilt.”

These lovebirds joke about one day doing a “couples colonoscopy.” David is on Humira, and Amanda has an appointment in upcoming weeks with her new GI to discuss treatment plans moving forward.

“Anyone that would treat you like a burden due to a health problem that you’re doing your best to manage is not someone who deserves to be in a relationship with you. There are plenty of loving, understanding people out there, IBD-savvy or otherwise. Love yourself and the rest takes care of itself.”

Anika + Louis

Anika and her boyfriend, Louis, of Virginia, were friends for years before they officially started dating. They were out with friends one night and she mentioned she had ulcerative colitis. He replied that he did, too.

“When we started dating, I was less than a year into my diagnosis and I felt less alone when I found out he had it, too. Before I began my clinical journey to a diagnosis, I had never heard of UC let alone knew anyone under the age of 70 who had it. There are so many things that I assume I would have had to explain to a partner, that I didn’t have to explain to him because he had a similar experience.”

She says as long as they’ve been together neither of them has felt ill on the same day.

It’s usually clear if one person is sicker than the other, so the less-sick individual takes more of the heavy lifting. I recently had to undergo a colonoscopy and without me asking he took off work so he could drive me to and from my appointment. He religiously read the prep materials the doctor had given me to make sure I took the right medication at the right time and even did all my prep shopping (buying me Jellos and Gatorades so I had prep friendly snacks). I think in general he’s an extremely empathetic person, but the fact that he can also relate is unbelievably nice.”

Both of these lovebirds take four mesalamine pills a day. They tease each other that if they forget their medication they can just borrow from the other person since they’re on the same prescription. She wants everyone with IBD to remember they are not a burden and deserve to be loved like everyone else.

I don’t think you should ever think of yourself as a burden, and I know that’s a lot easier said than done. I believe that if someone loves you, like fully loves you, they will love you no matter what and be there to support you in anything you have to deal with. If someone shows early on that they are not compassionate or caring or can’t show up for you, then that’s a blessing that you found out early on and not when it’s too late. You deserve someone who loves you for all that you are.”

Brittany + Morgan

Brittany Wheaton and her boyfriend, Morgan, of British Columbia, both didn’t have IBD when their paths first crossed in 2018. Morgan was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2013, but Brittany didn’t have answers for the symptoms she’d been experiencing since 2016. She says her boyfriend tends to be private about sharing about his ulcerative colitis, so he didn’t share his health situation with her until a few months after she had been diagnosed and he was sure they had a future.

Since I was diagnosed while we were together, Morgan walked through the process with me and figured out the connection when he learned my new GI was his long-term GI! He didn’t grasp the connection between Crohn’s and UC right away as his awareness of his disease comes from his GI and doctor only – I’m more literate and curious about it!”

When it comes to having kids one day, Morgan has zero concerns. He’s confident that the medical supports are increasing every day and is excited about the prospects of new drugs and treatments if they are in the position of becoming parents to a child with IBD.

“He also reminds me regularly that we would be the greatest advocates and supporters to that child. We live in Canada, so we have the reassurance of universal healthcare which is such a privilege. I am more apprehensive about kids, particularly as I spent the past two years in a severe flare that I was worried might end my life. I struggle with the guilt of knowing I could pass these difficult experiences on by no ill-intention of my own. I also worry what pregnancy would be like on my body and have concerns around not being able to sustain a pregnancy due to my difficulties with nutrition. I also acknowledge that choosing to not have a child due to the risk of IBD can fringe on eugenics and is quite ableist.”

Brittany and Morgan often talk about how despite their IBD they have been fortunate to live beautiful, fulfilled lives and have gotten unique lessons and learnings about themselves and each other through their personal limitations.

“We choose to live in an apartment because we’d rather spend our healthy time having fun and relaxing rather than maintaining a stand-alone home; we’ve planned and started saving for retirement and periods off work at 29 and 34 because we know it’s likely inevitable; we have stringent boundaries around stress and taking on too much because the busyness isn’t worth the cost of our health; we have decided to do everything we can do to maximize our rest and fun, and minimize the stress of a too-full life because we know how fragile life really is, and have seen what is really important to us as IBD has taken it away before for periods of time.”

Brittany and Morgan place importance on being independent as patients but are grateful to have each other to understand the language of IBD and take advantage of having a partner who intuitively gets it.

The day that we decided that we would be together for the long-haul, we committed to always putting our health first. Having a partner who understands that my physical and mental well-being and his physical and mental well-being need be our priority has provided such a rich and earnest connection without shame or guilt. It’s so beautiful to have a partner who encourages me to take care of myself rather than forcing his way in and trying to micromanage it for me. I feel empowered and trusted, and when I’m in a place where I need the external help, he’s always ready and waiting to step in.”

Brittany and Morgan are both on a 4-week cycle of Entyvio and the nurses at the clinic think it’s a hoot! Morgan is also on azathioprine. Since she was diagnosed while knowing Morgan, they both see the same GI.

“It was funny telling our doc because he (and pretty much everyone) suspects we must have met because of our conditions, but we just ignorantly both swiped right and found out the details later! Our general practitioners find it so interesting that we found each other and ask a lot of interpersonal questions about how we pull it off!!”

IBD is a part of who they are, and though Brittany is not thankful for the disease, she’s thankful for the lessons the IBD experience has brought them both. She says the emotional infrastructure of having IBD has made them better matches for each other!

Rebecca + Joey

When Rebecca Goodrich of California first met her husband, Joey, he opened up about having Crohn’s disease early on. At the time, she did not know she also had IBD. He candidly shared about his experiences with medication, flare ups, and traveling with Crohn’s. Rebecca was curious and eager to learn more about his patient journey, and at the time started to think she may be in denial about her own health.

I knew what IBD was and was honored that he felt comfortable sharing his experiences with me. I was also so impressed with how determined Joey was to care for his body through healthy habits (sleep, hydration, meditation, etc.). When I was diagnosed, he was incredibly supportive—always reminding me through the tough moments that ‘this too shall pass’.”

She went on to say Joey has a way of keeping her grounded when she gets worked up about procedures or an uptick in symptoms. He takes Humira, she takes Lialda and Mesalamine enemas. Her current GI is Joey’s previous doctor.

“My advice for finding love with IBD is to be with someone who loves you for you. There’s no such thing as perfect, we all struggle with something. I am incredibly grateful to be married to someone who truly “gets it,” for my loyal Labrador Sherman-Shell, and for my family who has been there since the beginning.”

How to be an investigative journalist specializing in chronic illness

Chronic illness forces you to wear many hats and approach life in ways you never thought possible. One of those hats is being an investigative journalist or sleuth. Each time something starts going awry with our health we immediately start the mental gymnastics about what could be going on and if the symptoms are linked to our IBD.

I find that even though my Crohn’s has been in remission since August 2015, that the next flare always looms in a cloud of worry when I’m not feeling my best. 

This past week I experienced this firsthand when my eyes both started twitching nonstop, along with headaches. I started thinking about what I could have done to trigger this bodily response. Was it Crohn’s related? Hormonal from breastfeeding weening? A mineral deficiency? A problem with my eyes or vision? Sleep deprivation or stress? The laundry list of possibilities and worries weighed heavily on me. After consulting with my GI, OB, and having an appointment with my eye doctor, I learned the eye twitching was a result of allergies. I now do eye drops once a day to help. It was such a relief to get an answer and physically be able to do something to make myself feel better.

When you notice an uptick in IBD symptoms or health issues in general how do you get to the bottom of what’s going on?

Here are my top tips for getting answers:

Be proactive. Don’t let things fester and let your anxiety get the best of you.

•Take physical notes, not just mental ones. As the hours turn to days it can be difficult to remember when symptoms began and if they progressed. Keep a simple log of what is happening, how often, the severity, etc. 

•Reach out to care providers early and often. Send a quick message on the patient portal informing your GI about what is going on. With IBD, I find it helpful to always loop my gastroenterologist in since so many issues are often related to Crohn’s. 

•Be seen. If symptoms don’t resolve in 3-5 days, it’s a good idea to be seen in person or at least a telehealth appointment. You can always get on the books and cancel an appointment if you start to feel better. 

Try not to Google too much. While this is always tempting and can feel like a quick way of gaining understanding, it also can lead to going down a dangerous rabbit hole of what ifs that possibly aren’t even relevant. 

Listen to your gut. You know when something feels off. Don’t drown out how your body is speaking to you through symptoms. 

Practice mindfulness and calming exercises. It’s not unusual to feel up against a wall or like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back with chronic illness. Remember to breathe. Take a walk outside to clear your head. Do all you can to rest your mind from stresses that can trigger your IBD.

I get how exhausting it is to constantly feel at odds with your body and worry about what could be going on. Suffering in silence and not communicating health challenges only sets you back from feeling your best. Be mindful of how you feel each day and feel empowered by collaborating with your care team and giving them all the necessary intel to have the full picture when figuring out your health story past and present. 

Stay tuned for a special discussion on IBDLyfe, Wednesday June 29, 2022, at 1 pm CT about “How to Be Your Own Best Advocate in a Provider Setting.” I’ll be speaking alongside fellow patient advocate, Tina Aswani Omprakash. Register here.

IBD Dads: What these patient heroes have to say about fatherhood

Fatherhood looks differently when you have a chronic illness. Finding a partner, family planning, decision making, and parenting are all impacted when you have IBD. This week on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s we hear from several men around the world. Whether they are preparing to start a family or have adult children, you’ll hear firsthand accounts about how their Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis has shaped who they are as men and as dads.

London Harrah, a 31-year-old dad in California, was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in April 2016. He says IBD has impacted fatherhood in different ways and presented unique challenges. He’s grateful for the endless support his family has given him, making him feel comfortable to openly share about the struggles.

“Prior to my surgery and ostomy, my ulcerative colitis heavily impacted my parenting role. I had to shape my entire day around my ability to have close access to a restroom. Now after surgery, I have had a lot more freedom and a heightened quality of life. I am now able to partake in a lot more activities without my condition hindering me. I also feel like being an IBD dad makes me stronger because I look at parenting as an opportunity to set an example for my son on how to deal with adversity,” said London.

He says IBD has instilled a profound sense of empathy in his 13-year-old son because he has not only witnessed his dad go through the ups and downs of chronic illness, but London has also shared other peoples’ stories from the patient community with him as well.

“Some people ask me for advice on how I navigate different topics in life, and I share many of those stories with my son so he can understand different things that are actually happening in the real world and paint a picture of what some people have to deal with, that may not be visible on the surface.”

London says his son has been through this journey with him since day one. He can still remember when he first started experiencing symptoms and he knew something was wrong and trying to explain that to his child.

“He watched me spend hours in the restroom and was there for me as much as he could. I have always felt open and able to talk to him about this topic, more than anyone else.”

London sees his ostomy as a great learning opportunity for his son.

“As a dad, having an ostomy is kind of a great experience to have because of all the life lessons and teaching opportunities that it creates when raising children. You learn a lot about yourself during this journey and it allows for a lot of realization about the important things in life, which are all transferable when raising our children.”

Brandon Gorge of Michigan has five-year-old and two-year-old sons. Diagnosed with ulcerative colitis freshman year of college in 2003, he’s grateful his IBD was under control for 11 years while on Remicade/Inflectra infusions and now Stelara for the last year and a half.

“My sons wake up early and I love to wake up with them, have breakfast and play before getting the day started. With their ages, my biggest challenge is having to run to the bathroom while my wife is still sleeping. I used to have to wake her up to cover for me, but now they’ll play while I’m in the bathroom or come in with me. I tend to schedule doctor appointments and lab work early in the morning. Making sure my wife knows my morning plan is important so she can schedule accordingly, and we can make sure the boys are set for the morning/day.”

Brandon credits his wife for being a great listener and support.

“She comes with me to colonoscopies and to Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation events. My parents are still a huge support as they helped me find the right doctor when I was diagnosed with UC a week before moving out of state for freshman year of college and continue to be a sounding board for my UC. They’re also involved with the CCF because of me.”

His older son broke his arm when he was four and has been extremely interested in how the human body works and heals. Brandon and his wife found a YouTube video series called “Operation Ouch” by two British doctors. One video they stumbled on is about a girl with IBD.

“He said it wasn’t interesting because he couldn’t see her booboo. I explained to him that some people have booboos that you can’t see, and I have the same one as the girl in the video. He knows I go to the “tush” doctor regularly; they take pictures inside my body – and I’ve showed him the pictures, I give myself shots, and getting a shot is no big deal. Talking about the bathroom is very normal in our family!”

Brian Greenberg of New York was diagnosed with IBD when he was 11 years old, he’s now 39. He says juggling and finding a balance for all things in life is difficult. Between being a husband, a father, and then having a career, and managing chronic illness on top of general health, it’s a lot.

“My family is amazing. My wife knows there are nights where I have to tap out, and she understands when this happens. My family and her family have also been supportive that it took me a little longer to settle into being a dad and learning how to add everything it comes with to my 24/7 job of being a Spoonie. But their patience has paid off and I feel like after a few months of being a father, I found my stride.”

As an ostomate with a 17-month-old daughter, Brian says while she still has no idea what she’s seeing, him and his wife have started the education process with the books “Awesome Ollie” and “Ollie the Bear.”

“It’s teaching her that after some challenges and the fact I’m a little different now, I’m still capable of so much, which I hope to show her one day.”

Trying for a family as a man with IBD

Brad Watson-Davelaar of Canada got married earlier this year and now him and his wife are hopeful to start their family. Brad was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2001 at age 17. Since then, he’s never been in remission.

“I used to be worried about having kids since my IBD has never been stable. Since meeting my wife five years ago, I’ve learned that she and I together are a wonderful team. I’m very much all in for kids. Being an uncle really solidified my desire to be a dad. We’ve been trying for two months and we’re hoping my wife is pregnant by the end of the year, which is a big ask as I’m preparing to go in for a laparoscopic right hemicolectomy with abdominal-perianal resection transanal total mesorectal excision with permanent colotomy later this year. I don’t know how my mental and physical state will be afterward.”

Brad and his wife have talked about the possibility of their children having IBD, but both agreed that if that is the case, they will 150% be there as a support and advocate for our children, something he lacked in his own health journey.

“We’ve also talked about how I will be a stay-at-home dad, as I’ve been on disability for a large majority of my adult life. I know there will be rough points where I will feel like utter garbage and just not feel like being there. But I know even if I let myself get to that point, my wife will be there to help. We’re making sure to move ourselves to where we will have a good support system if anything happens. Having a strong partner makes it easier to be ready and excited for what the future holds.”

With everything going on in the world, Brad says it’s a bit daunting to become a dad.

“I’ve been doing my research. I really want to make sure to do the right things. I treat the prospect of fatherhood much like I manage my IBD. Lots of research and staying open to change. I am so excited to be a father though. I feel like it’s what I need in my life.”

Reflecting on how IBD changes through each parenting season

Alistar Kennedy of the UK was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2000. Now as a 49-year-old married father of two he’s able to reflect on how his IBD journey has impacted fatherhood and family.

“When you have a chronic illness your energy and time are limited. Having children can be exhausting and all-consuming even without health issues. The biggest challenge I found when my children were very young was coping with their boundless energy, their desire to be active, and trying to enjoy outdoor play. Active IBD can be a big issue in those circumstances, fatigue was a real struggle, but also the need to keep near to facilities in case you need them. This meant solo parenting was hard, but good planning and an understanding partner made the normal things achievable. Also, as the kids grew, they became more aware of what was needed from them. Empathy and adjustment to surroundings.”

Speaking of empathy, Alistar says his kids are both very aware of his IBD and how it’s impacted their family.

“My kids have grown up knowing I might have a day when I’m unable to do things due to fatigue or have to make a dash to facilities. Being open and honest with them from an early age has given them a broader understanding of the struggles a lot of families have. They are both very caring individuals. As a family, we are flexible and everyone understands that, sometimes plans must change. We make the most of the good days.”

Since being diagnosed, Alistar sees great promise for the future of IBD treatment and care in the years ahead.

“Medication, treatment plans, the role of diet, and the importance of mental wellbeing has advanced dramatically in the last 20-plus years. I see far more hope from the future about what this disease will mean for all of us and how it will or won’t dictate our lives. If you want to start a family and enjoy everything that can bring, you can. It won’t change the fact teenagers can’t load a dishwasher properly! I’m very proud of the fact that I did the school pick up and drop off for 10 years solid without either child getting a single late mark!”

Dan Bradley of the UK recalls how differently IBD impacted his role as a dad when his children were younger.

“My youngest child is 17, so I don’t feel like my IBD affects my children in a big way. When I was diagnosed 8 years ago it created a huge challenge with being a dad and dealing with the lethargy and fatigue. It was a struggle to be able to do my day-to-day activities and be there for the wants and needs of my children since they were too young to understand my illness and what I was going through as a parent during that time.”

He feels his disease helped shape who his children grew up to be as they enter adulthood.

“I like to think my children were brought up to offer empathy to others, but my IBD has certainly given them a deeper understanding about stomas and the complications that can arise with chronic illness. There’s nothing like telling your 16-year-old daughter she needs to get out of the bathroom quickly when she is trying to get ready for a night out!

Thomas Fowler of New York was first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2004 when he was 30 years old, then three years later he found out he had Crohn’s. Since he was first diagnosed, he’s undergone more than 25 surgeries and currently deals with anal fistulas. He says life as an IBD dad is about finding your “new normal” and that it helped him to have a decade of life with IBD prior to taking the plunge into parenting.

“We talk about Crohn’s all the time, so my kids accept me as I am because they don’t know Daddy without Crohn’s. I sense that they know when I’m having a bad day or flare. I tend to shutdown socially and don’t talk as much. Fatigue is my number one battle in life. I don’t mind the bathroom trips as much or the daily pain, it’s the fatigue. It’s the one symptom that I can’t fight.”

Recently, Thomas says his latest challenge with IBD and fatherhood is juggling his Crohn’s with his son’s baseball season.

“I am not able to eat dinner before baseball practice/games. My son 100% understands why. And sometimes my son will ask to go and get ice cream after a game, and I say I can’t because Daddy has to get home and eat real food first. Sometimes that means eating at almost 9 pm. Which presents another issue in and of itself, because if I eat that late, I automatically know I’m going to be up several times during that night to use the bathroom.”

Why men with IBD tend to stay silent

As an IBD mom of three myself, I’m aware in my extensive advocacy work how our patient community is predominately made of female voices and experiences. For many years, the male experience has been lacking and is often difficult to find.

“Men are conditioned not to share their detailed emotions. Often told to ’suck it up’ and just get on with it. Sharing can make you feel vulnerable and fragile to our peers, so we avoid it. It shouldn’t because it’s incredibly empowering and rewarding. I was diagnosed pre-social media and at the time, advice, and information available online was vague, confusing, and often misleading. It felt very lonely to have IBD back then. Being part of an online community has been game changing. Men struggle to engage and verbalize in this space though, but they are there. Personally, I’m very facts and evidence driven, so the advocacy space must reflect that,” said Alistar.

“We’re taught at an early age that we’re supposed to be tough. That we shouldn’t be sick or show any weakness. That stereotype is slowly being broken as men are learning that even our health can change in a moment, and it’s okay to be vulnerable,” Brian explained.

“I co-chair the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation’s Detroit Young Professional Group. One of my co-chairs is also a dad. Our group is evenly split between men and women. Before I became involved with the group, I never participated in any type of group for support or advocacy. I think a lot of men (and people with IBD) need to learn how to advocate for themselves with insurance and their medical team before they advocate and help others,” said Brandon.

Dan said, “I think it’s a typical man thing. IBD is not talked about. Some of the symptoms that come with IBD, in particular going to the bathroom, can be seen as a taboo subject. I do feel this is changing and more awareness is getting out there. In the UK, we have recently had a couple of “famous” people raise awareness which has been fantastic.”

“I think in the society we live in today makes it harder for men to be vulnerable with their feelings. In my situation, even I still struggle sometimes talking about certain topics with new people. I do however acknowledge the difficulty and try to work through it,” said London.

Advice for future IBD dads-to-be

Whether you’re in the throes of trying for a baby or if you’re a parent and your child has IBD, and you worry about his future and what it will hold in regards to fatherhood—here’s some amazing advice to guide you and show you all that’s possible.

“There are always more good days than bad. Having children is a wonderful, if very tiring, gift. They change you for the better and help you to grow as a person. Getting my IBD under control has been incredibly challenging, but we’ve done all the things normal families do. Be open and honest with your partner about your fears, priorities self-care and mental wellbeing. Talk and share your feelings to your family and friends. Don’t be hard on yourself. Take naps! The best advice as an active parent is always that good up-front planning and working as a team is essential,” said Alistar.

“Talk to your gastroenterologist to ease any fears about the effects of medicines or worsening IBD, develop a treatment plan, and revisit that plan before a flare gets out of control and affects you being able to be there for your kids,” said Brandon.

“I would tell fellow men not to let IBD stop them from becoming a dad! They are very well capable of having a healthy child, but it starts with them taking initiative and becoming healthy (mentally/physically) themselves before-hand,” said London.

Brian said, “Becoming a father with a chronic illness like IBD is scary. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work, how I’d be able to adjust to everything I was about to add onto life, or where would I find the energy. But you find answers to all those things because the love your heart is filled with carries you through so much, and it’s more important than anything else in life to find a way.”

“Don’t hesitate to start a family.  There will never be a “perfect” time to have a kid with this disease. Don’t set goals like, I’ll start a family when I’m 2 years symptom free, or when I don’t have a surgery for 3 consecutive years. You will always have issues for the rest of your life. The only hard part I had was when my kids were newborn through toddler age and I had them by myself away from the house. You get very creative with bathroomn visits.  I would use the diaper changing tables and strap my kids in and let them use my phone for distractions so I could use the bathroom. You become a logistical genius when leaving your house. Being a dad is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.  And a hug from your kid is better than any medicine money can buy when you are having Crohn’s related issues,” said Thomas.

“There is no reason on earth to allow your IBD to stop you from becoming a dad if that’s what you want to be. Go for it. Be open so everyone knows where you stand. With the right medication and treatment plan in place, there really isn’t anything you will be stopped from doing. I enjoy long bike rides, long walks with the dog, and a pub lunch after reffing my kids football games. I have flown with an ostomy without issue. If you think you may have IBD, don’t ignore your symptoms. See a doctor and get yourself on the path to treatment so you can live life as fully as possible,” said Dan

Love & IBD: An eye-opening look at what it takes to find the right person

Saturday my husband and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Special milestones like this tend to make us all reminisce about the past, present, and the future. When you live with IBD many of those memories and the current reality are from flare ups, hospitalizations, procedures, recoveries, and simply navigating the day to day. While Bobby has been a part of my life for nine years (next month!), I spent the first eight years living with Crohn’s disease, without him—in my 20s.

During those eight years I experienced many heartbreaks and disappointments when it came to trying to find my person. To give you the cliff notes version—my boyfriend who I was dating when I was diagnosed never visited me during a week-long hospital stay and broke up with me while I was in a wheelchair over the phone after getting discharged and going into my parent’s car. Then, I dated a guy who refused to drive 3 hours when I was hospitalized for an abscess the size of a tennis ball in my small intestine, because “gas prices were too expensive” (can you imagine how he’s handling the prices now, HA!) and he wanted to go fishing. Another moment that makes me shake my head to this day is when I had to cancel a first date because I was doubled over in pain on the bathroom floor and was heading to the ER and he texted me that it was a poor excuse and laughed at me.

While I could have seen my Crohn’s disease as a scarlet letter and settled with a person who clearly didn’t have a genuine heart, I used my IBD to guide my decision making and it brought me to the relationship and the person I was meant to be with.

So, while I was out to dinner over the weekend looking across the table at my husband and the man I have three kids with—a man who has taken my disease journey and everything that’s come along with it in stride, I not only felt an immense sense of gratitude but also want you to know that your disease can give you superhuman clarity when it comes to helping you weed through the people who aren’t your person. This week on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s a close look at love and relationships and the tremendous support our romantic partners are, while also speaking to those who are single and struggling to see themselves as anything but a burden. I hope this article shows you the incredible relationships so many of us in the IBD community have been able to have, despite our disease—and remind you that you are worthy of all that love has to offer. Your disease does not make you less than. You deserve the same respect, consideration, compassion, and unconditional love as everyone else.

How does your partner go above and beyond?

I tapped into our community on Instagram and asked: “How does your partner support you?” By reading the countless messages it just goes to show, it is possible to find a partner who sees you for more than your IBD. Someone who loves you for all of you:

“Taking care of the house, speaking up for me at appointments, fighting insurance when I can’t anymore, and listening to me.”

“Knows what I can and cannot eat and makes sure there’s food available that I can tolerate.”

“I’ve got a winner, there’s too many things to type in this small box! Will make a late-night food run because of my limited options with a flare or let me pick a meal. Shows support by driving me to colonoscopies, even if it means missing work.”

“They listen when I “complain” and offer solutions when I don’t feel well.”

“Attends most of my doctor appointments with me.”

“When I’m ill he takes over with our son and cleaning, orders takeout, and rubs my back.”

“Encouraging me to rest, especially to flare and then taking care of the house and baby.”

“Dealing with insurance and appointment scheduling so I can focus on other stuff.”

“I could go on forever but knowing my needs even when I don’t want to ask for help.”

“Helps me believe good days are coming. Asked, “where are we going on our next adventure?” while walking me around the hospital unit. Listens. Is present. Helps without being asked. Considerate. Kind. Empathetic.”

“He takes on more responsibility around the house when I’m not feeling well and comforts me!”

“By listening, learning, laughing, and trusting me.”

“Ricky is my rock. He is steadfast and always levelheaded.”

“He takes care of the kids and keeps the household running when I’m out of commission.”

“Understands the importance of rest, diet, low stress, and medications.”

“He got a Crohn’s and Colitis shirt and wears it on my bad days or procedure days to show support.”

“My husband doesn’t “do sick” well. He has never been sick since I met him 10 years ago. So, it was very hard for me during my first flare up as his wife. He did not tolerate me being sick at all. He kept telling me not to “identify” with the illness and manifest good health. At the time it was torture. I felt so alone and didn’t feel any compassion from him. He is a “mind over matter” person and has been helping me manifest a strong, healthy body. He supports us by living a very healthy lifestyle. He gets me up every morning to work out with him, no holistic treatment is too expensive. He is giving. Sacrifices everything for his family. Even though he is different from me, I’m forever grateful for his approach because I have never been healthier!”

“When I’m in a flare he takes care of the kids and cleaning so I can rest and not stress while I’m sick. Helps me feel comfortable and confident managing my Crohn’s.”

“In ever way. He never asks more of me than I can give at that moment.”

“Being by my side before I even have to ask.”

“He’s my cheerleader on injection days!”

“He understands if I need to stop driving often.”

“Does more than his share of chores. Eats safe food dinners with me. Hugs me when I cry and so much more!!!”

“My husband is truly a miracle. Diagnosed as newlyweds, never in remission. His thoughtful intentionality and his presence make me so proud and lucky. I couldn’t do this without him.”

Fears about finding your person

Now on the contrary, those who are single and struggling to find their match may hesitate to put themselves out there for many reasons. Chronic illness and love can be overwhelming. I asked the following question on Instagram: What worries you about love and IBD?”:

“They will not accept my permanent ostomy and think it’s gross.”

“Thinking I’m less fun because I don’t want to go out as much and need to rest more.”

“Feeling less than. Who wants to deal with going IBD/fibromyalgia? ☹”

“Honestly, everything…like how and will they truly be there at my worst.”

“Being considered too much baggage!”

“Why would someone choose to love someone who’s sick all the time?”

“That my husband would get tired of my lifestyle and not feeling well all the time and leave.”

“That they won’t accept my ostomy—how long do I wait to tell them? It’s hard.”

“How to tell someone when you first start dating. Men not wanting to deal with it.”

“Fearful I won’t have the energy to keep up with activities, dates, etc.”

“My wedding day—how I will feel! I’m far from that stage of life, but I worry about this often.”

“It’s hard enough to find a man, let alone one that can handle IBD life.”

“That I won’t be accepted. I’ve had to get dentures because of Crohn’s.”

“They won’t accept me for my disease, and I will be a burden to them because I’m sick.”

“That someone will get tired of dealing with my health issues. That I will burden them too much.”

“I worry about rejection and being a burden to a potential partner.”

“I’m not single, but my biggest fear is one day my spouse will wake up and realize this isn’t the life he wants and that taking care of me is too big of a sacrifice. That he’s run out of energy to give and needs to take care of himself (do what makes him happy). I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

Woah. How heartbreaking and relatable are those comments?! First, I want you to read an article I wrote awhile back that addresses the term “burden” as it relates to love and IBD. While it can be incredibly intimidating to share the fact you have IBD and everything that comes along with your personal case (scars, ostomy, flaring, need for hardcore medications, etc.), it’s all a part of you and if someone you are dating is going to pass judgement or be “turned off” by that, I’m telling you now RUN FOR THE FREAKIN’ HILLS. As you date, don’t settle for anyone who makes you feel guilty for something that’s completely out of your control. Let your IBD shine a bright light on someone’s true colors. Same goes for friendships. In the moment it can be shocking to see who is there and who is not, many people will surprise you—and not in a good way, but take that intel and keep your inner circle made up of people who you can trust implicitly and be yourself completely with.

When it comes to disclosing—you’ll know when the moment is right. For me, I told my husband on our third date while we were out to lunch. You don’t have to get into the nitty gritty, just put it out there—a high level explanation—and let them ask questions. In that moment you will be able to gauge their interest. Bobby didn’t bat an eye. To this day he reminds me I’m a healthy person, aside from my intestines. Don’t wait too long to share about your IBD so you don’t invest time and energy if they aren’t going to be worth it. If you’re lying in a hospital bed and feeling neglected or alone as you face serious health complications, it’s time to take a serious look at what you want and what you need in a relationship. I promise you will not regret breaking up with someone who makes your life and emotions complicated.

I can still remember crying in my parent’s bedroom after being diagnosed with Crohn’s and dealing with a breakup during the same week. I was 21. It felt like my world was crashing and burning. I wish I could hug that girl and tell her not to worry and that she’d be a happily married mom of three kids who rose above and didn’t settle. Love and IBD doesn’t have to be scary, it’s something really special.