10 Tips for those who DON’T have IBD

November 27, 2017November 27, 20178 Comments

As Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness week approaches (December 1-7), I thought it would be helpful to share my top 10 tips for those who do not have inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It’s my hope that after reading this article, you’ll feel more comfortable approaching family members and friends with these diseases and be able to have compassionate and thoughtful conversations.

Do not compare IBD to IBS.

This, above all else is aggravating and makes those of us who battle Crohn’s and Colitis cringe and roll our eyes, whether we are doing it in front of you or not. We understand that you are trying to relate to our situation because you think our disease is all about going to the bathroom, but please refrain from making this comparison.

IBD refers to a chronic, autoimmune disease, that wreaks havoc and causes inflammation of the GI tract—which can span from your mouth to your anus. Aside from abdominal pain and trips to the bathroom, we deal with a laundry list of other symptoms ranging from chronic fatigue to uveitis (inflammation to the middle of the eye). I’m not saying IBS is a walk in the park, but it’s on a different playing field.

Hold your horses, Beverage and Food Police

Yes, we know that Pumpkin Spice lattes or those peanut M&M’s may not be the best decisions—but every now and then we want to live a little and take a risk. Just because coffee, nuts or popcorn caused pain one time—doesn’t mean that’s always going to be the case. In the end, if what we eat and drink causes us pain, we’ll be the one paying the price, not you. Please refrain from staring at us and questioning every time we put food in our mouths. We get it. No need to question or reprimand us. There’s already an ongoing inner dialogue 24/7 about every little decision we make and how it’s going to make us feel, trust me.

IBD doesn’t need to be the white elephant in the room, talk about it.

If you are hesitant to bring up Crohn’s and Colitis with a loved one or friend, don’t be. It makes us feel like what we are going through matters. By communicating and articulating that you recognize we are battling a difficult disease it doesn’t make our situation feel so isolating. Especially for those of us who blog or share our struggles on social media, it always surprises me that despite all I share and my openness, so many people in my life like to pretend that I don’t have Crohn’s and never, ever, bring it up. If anything that is disheartening to me. I am passionate about being a patient advocate and sharing my journey, obviously I want to talk about it.

Don’t make us feel guilty if we need to cancel plans.

There have been countless times I make plans with friends or when I used to go on dates prior to getting married, where I needed to cancel because I was blindsided by symptoms. Understand that when you make plans with someone who battles IBD, the way we feel can change up to the minute we’re supposed to meet. While I know that can be aggravating, you must be patient and think about what you would do if you had stabbing pains in your abdomen and couldn’t stand straight up as you rush to the bathroom. More often than not, rather then canceling we put a smile on and pretend to feel well. So, the times we cancel—I can guarantee you, it’s a legit excuse and doesn’t make us happy either. I’ve had moments where I was all excited to go out with my husband and meet friends and he would see me walking around putting my make up on with my pants unbuttoned, because I was in so much pain and he had to tell me—we’re not going.

No need to remind us “it could be worse.”

Yes, we are well aware that a lot of people have it worse than us and are battling terminal illnesses. At the same time, many people have it better than us. We understand the severity of our disease and that it can’t be compared to someone battling stage IV cancer. But, before you wake up in our shoes and know what it’s like to live with a chronic, invisible illness that takes management with multiple medications a day, procedures, poking and prodding and facing the unknown of what the next day brings regarding flare ups—please don’t try and pretend you can fathom the struggle.

Surgery is not a cure for Crohn’s

According to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation, unlike ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s disease cannot be cured with surgery, except in some instances where only the colon, rectum, and anus are affected. If the diseased portion of the intestine is removed, the inflammation can reappear adjacent to the site of the surgery, even if that part of the intestine was normal prior to the surgery. The primary goals of surgery for Crohn’s disease are to conserve as much bowel as possible, alleviate complications, and to help the patient achieve the best possible quality of life. Sure, you may go into surgical remission or be given a “fresh start,” but that disease will always be a part of you. When I had my bowel resection surgery in August 2015, they removed 18 inches of my small intestine—a decade of disease was taken from body. Of course, as I healed, I felt better and still feel a lot better nowadays, then I did prior to the surgery. Regardless, I live with Crohn’s every day and those symptoms are still present quite often. About 23-45 percent of people with ulcerative colitis and up to 75 percent of people with Crohn’s disease will require surgery. As I type this, I have stabbing pains in my stomach. I felt completely fine when I started writing this.

Questioning medication decisions

So often people seem to think they have MD after their name, even if they haven’t taken one medical course in their life. Yes, we are aware, there are a ton of commercials on TV that list all the possible side effects for Humira, Stelara, Entyvio… you name it. Normally when we hear those commercials, if they don’t pertain to us, we may kind of laugh and wonder who in their right mind would take a medication with all those risks. For those of us with IBD, we oftentimes don’t have a choice. It’s a high risk with a high reward. Quality of life has to come first. I know before I got pregnant with my son, there were multiple occasions where friends would question my decision to be on Humira. Once you are on a biologic and your disease is this severe, you don’t have a whole lot of options. Don’t you think the risk of new and worsening heart failure and being immune suppressed is already a worry we deal with as it is?

Fading to the background and disappearing when we need you most.

One of the “perks” of having IBD is that you quickly get to see who your true friends are and who has a compassionate heart. Sadly, the people who you think you are closest to often seem to disappear when you’re in the hospital. Rather than focusing on getting better, your mind may race and you may feel hurt that so and so hasn’t even called, texted or visited—even though you know they saw your post on social media about your most recent hospital stay. If you’re questioning whether you are going to bother the person or if you think it’s not your place to reach out—please change your mindset. It’s the people who reach out when you’re at your lowest point that you realize are worth your time and energy. IBD is isolating enough as it is, please be a good friend and show us some love when we’re going through a flare. If you were hospitalized, would you want radio silence from every person who matters to you?

Don’t be afraid to find humor in the struggle.

Timing is everything when it comes to humor, but don’t feel like you need to be all doom and gloom with us. We are the same person we’ve always been, and more often than not we may make light of the situation as a defense mechanism. I was recently on a call with fellow Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation volunteers and casually introduced myself and said, “I’ve had one surgery, just 18 inches of intestine removed”… I said it as a joke, and the people on the other end laughed and said “just?”…because they get it. There’s no need to always think of IBD as a negative, in time, we come to realize it helps define the people we become.

Please don’t push the “diet that heals”, homeopathic remedies on us

If there was one diet that worked wonders for those of us with IBD, we’d all be on board. There would be no need for medications and tests and hospitalizations. So many people inquire and ask, “have you tried the FodMap diet? What about SCD? What about Paleo?”…the list is endless. I tried going Paleo a couple years ago and almost ended up in the hospital. If you find a diet that works for you or someone you know, that’s fabulous. Unfortunately, every single case of IBD is different and there isn’t one way to help “heal” us all. If anything, this can be very confusing for newly diagnosed patients and their caretakers. It can put people in harms way if they follow your recommendation and decide they no longer need medication. Please be mindful of your words.

If you read my articles, you know I always focus on the positive and like to lift people up. My husband saw me writing this and felt it was a bit of a Debbie downer. I apologize if you feel that way, but I hope it has the opposite impact. I hope it brings you clarity and that it made a light bulb go off so that you know how to navigate your friendships and relationships with those who battle IBD. This week is a time to bring awareness about Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis, it’s a time for these diseases to be in the spotlight. This week, and all that follows, please be gentle with your words and be the type of support you’d want in return.

For more information about this year’s Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week, click here. It’s time we all speak up. Stand up. And stand together.

The dread of the next Crohn’s flare as a new mom

November 13, 2017Leave a comment

One of my biggest fears as a mom with Crohn’s disease is my next flare up. I know how it goes. It’s going to come out of left field. I’ll start the day feeling well—going about my business taking care of my son and then it’s going to happen. The relentless and all too familiar pain will take my breath away. I’ll call my husband, frantic, scared and emotional. My mind will race. This can’t happen. I can’t leave my baby. I can’t walk out this door doubled over in pain and not know when I’m going to be back home. This flare up will be worse than any I’ve encountered in the past. This time it’s not just about me anymore. It’s about him.

I dread packing a hospital bag with the necessities. It makes my stomach turn to imagine kissing his little cheeks and handing him over to someone else as my husband races me to the emergency room. As much as I hate to think like this and don’t like to be a Debbie downer, I know there will be a time it’s going to happen. Since Reid was born almost eight months ago, I’ve told my husband that my goal is to stay out of the hospital until Reid can physically walk into the room to visit me. I know that’s a hopeful goal. It’s been 27 months since I’ve been hospitalized due to my Crohn’s. I feel like a ticking time bomb. When will the next time be?

As parents, articulating chronic illness to little ones is difficult. You want to protect them from your pain and pretend all is perfect. You don’t want them to worry or think you’re unhappy or sick. On the rough days you hide behind a smile. When you’re hospitalized, wearing a gown, attached to an IV pole and looking less than stellar…how do you pretend? How do you protect your little ones from the unknown? This isn’t the mommy they know and love. Kids are more intuitive than we give them credit for.

As my son grows up I want him to look at me and be inspired by my strength. I want him to think of his mama as being a tough cookie. I want my injections and nightly medication to be a part of our normal routine. Something he doesn’t think twice about. I never want him to worry or wonder the next time mommy will have to go to that place that keeps her overnight. I want to make light of colonoscopy preps and blood draws and let him know that just because mommy has a disease, it doesn’t stop her from living a full life.

As a new mom, I can’t anticipate all the questions and all the emotions that will come with each passing year. What we can do as parents with chronic illness is be open and communicate. As much as we want to protect our loved ones from knowing how deep our pain lies, sharing and allowing them to be a part of our patient journey is important. It’s a big part of who we are and God forbid someday they too inherit the disease, we have to set an example that it’s nothing to be ashamed of and that it doesn’t have to rob you of living a beautiful life.

As I write this and look at sweet boy on the monitor, sleeping peacefully in his crib, I am thankful for another healthy day at home. And I’ll be thankful for every single one that I get. While I dread that next flare up, I have the best reason ever to fight like hell and get back home.

Organ Donation and IBD: Setting the record straight

November 6, 2017November 6, 20177 Comments

Are you an organ donor? For some, this may seem like a simple question, for others it’s complicated. I’ve been reading posts on social media that claim if you have inflammatory bowel disease, you are not “eligible” or able to be an organ donor.

Hanging out with my cousin Bill at an organ donation event.

This caused me to pause and question whether that is truly the case. The decision to be an organ donor was a no-brainer for me. My entire life, I’ve been inspired by my cousin, Bill, who’s a two-time heart and one-time kidney recipient. To say I’m passionate about organ donation is an understatement.

So, I ventured out to interview Dr. Gary Marklin, Chief Medical Officer, for Mid-America Transplant in St. Louis, to learn more about IBD and organ and tissue donation. As an organ procurement organization, Mid-America Transplant covers eastern Missouri, southern Illinois and northern Arkansas.

At this moment, more than 115,000 people are waiting for a life-saving phone call. Last year, a historical number of transplants ever were conducted in the U.S., at almost 34,000…but there are a lot of people who don’t receive the gift of life in time. Each day, about 22 people die waiting for the phone to ring. That’s about one person an hour.

When it comes to those of us with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis the quality of our organs is studied at the time of donation. But, it’s key to note—this is the case for ALL donors, regardless of your medical history.

“Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis can effect organs other than the intestines, and if they are not working well, then you’re probably not able to donate that particular organ. But, in general, Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis do not exclude you from organ donation,” said Dr. Marklin.

The same goes for tissue donation. Tissue is skin, bone and corneas. Depending on where IBD is located and how it’s impacted the body, certain tissues may be excluded.

“What we do with any donor—no matter what—is assess the function of every single organ. So, for instance if the kidney, lung or liver function isn’t up to par due to long-term disease process or from long-term side effects from medications, the organ will not be transplanted. The last thing we want to do is transplant an organ and have the recipient develop a disease from a transplanted organ,” said Dr. Marklin.

This led to wonder if long-term use of biologic drugs, such as Humira, makes a difference.

“The only risk biologic drugs pose for transplantation is increased risk for infections. If you’re on Humira, which caused you to contract tuberculosis, then you’re not going to be a donor. Just being on the medication itself, does not limit you from being a donor though,” Dr. Marklin explained.

So, if you battle IBD—don’t let that hold you back from signing up to be an organ donor. The only organ you definitely would not be able to donate are your intestines, and let’s be honest… that’s not a big surprise! The odds are in your favor that you’ll get to provide others with a chance at life. Every time a family or person says “no” to organ donation, on average three people do not receive the lifesaving organ transplant they need. You have the power to save up to eight lives and help heal 75 more through tissue donation.

As someone who’s battled Crohn’s disease for more than 12 years, and as someone who’s witnessed firsthand the incredible ripple effect created by organ donation within my own family—I can’t reiterate enough, how imperative it is to be a donor.

If you’re hesitant—imagine your parents, siblings or best friend on their death bed, anxiously awaiting word an organ is available. Would you want their life to be cut short because someone chose not to be a donor? As people who battle IBD we know how important quality of life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. Sign up. Be a donor. Know in your heart that if there’s an accident, that your life will continue through someone else—and not just them, but all their family members and friends. Click here to enroll to be an organ donor. Click here for additional organ and tissue donation information.

Patient Education Day: Speaking from the heart

October 16, 2017October 16, 2017Leave a comment

Inspirational. Resilient. Strong. Those are the first three words that come to mind when I think of the Crohn’s and Colitis community. This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend and speak at a Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation Patient Education day event in St. Louis. Sitting in a roomful of patients, doctors and caretakers—surrounded by a group of people who “get it”. A group of people who share the same struggles, triumphs and life experiences.

There’s something to be said for making connections with this close-knit community face to face, rather than over the internet or social media. We laugh together, we shed some tears together, we meet people who are complete strangers who in a matter of hours feel like close friends.

In the days leading up to the event I had drafted a speech—all about preparing for a family with Crohn’s, pregnancy and motherhood. It was a busy week, so I never had a chance to look it over. In the minutes before I took the stage I kept going back and forth in my mind about whether I wanted to bring up my speech and hold the papers in my hands or just speak off the cuff.

I brought the papers up and as soon as the microphone was handed to me, I looked out the in the crowd and saw several young kids and teenagers. In that split second, I decided my speech should be motivational for them. I talked about how Crohn’s and ulcerative colitis enable us to have incredible perspective about life. I shared details about my experience being diagnosed and how I didn’t allow my disease to rob me of my dream of being a news anchor. I talked about the importance of caretakers and having the superpowers to see which family members and friends step up to the plate when you need them the most, and which fade to the background.

Most importantly, I spoke from the heart. If you’ve battled inflammatory bowel disease for any amount of time you have a story. Your story has the power to lift up others and show them they are not alone. It’s so easy to isolate ourselves and pretend that we’re feeling fantastic, when in all actuality our insides are inflamed and constantly leaving us in pain. As I looked out in the crowd, wearing a dress, standing tall with my hair curled—looking like a completely healthy person. I said—little would you know looking at me, that this morning at 2 a.m. I was stuck in the bathroom in excruciating pain, on the brink of throwing up. Those are the moments nobody sees, that we need to talk about.

As I looked out in the crowd I saw so many people nodding, so many people crying. I talked about how my husband Bobby has been there with me every step of the way since we met in 2013. Explaining his daily efforts to make sure I am ‘ok’. I saw tears in his eyes as I shared our story. After the speech I was approached by patients, parents and doctors. I was told countless times how my genuine and heart-felt words meant so much. Each of the conversations I had made me feel overwhelmed with joy. It was such a special day and such a special experience for my family. On the way to the event, I talked with my husband about how I wish I didn’t suffer in silence for over nine years and wish I would have shared my story from the start.

I don’t want you to have the same regrets as me. I know it’s easy to hide behind your invisible illness and think people will judge you, pity you and look at your differently. But what I’ve come to find out is that it’s the complete opposite. You will feel so empowered by sharing your story and you will quickly find out how strong and incredible the IBD family truly is.

“Don’t look back”: A mother’s tips for dealing with a daunting diagnosis

October 9, 2017October 9, 2017Leave a comment

Being in control. Knowing what tomorrow brings. Understanding why. Unfortunately, when it comes to inflammatory bowel disease, we don’t have those abilities or those answers. This week, a guest blog from a California mom of six girls named Cait. Her 13-year-old daughter, Natalie, was recently diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I connected with Cait on Instagram and look up to her as a mom who’s trying to navigate her daughter and her family’s new normal.

As a mom, I always want to have the answer or know just the right thing to do to help my kids along their own path. So, when all of that seemed to crash around us in May I felt lost. I felt alone. I didn’t know which way was up. This wasn’t in my plan nor did I wish for Natalie to journey it.

But here we were. Months and months of tests and researching late at night on my phone. Was it a tummy bug? Was it a parasite? Was it a food allergy surfacing? Mono? So many questions and not enough answers. The one test we all felt Natalie needed, our insurance denied us.

We could not keep watching our precious daughter fade. Something was terribly wrong. When we saw her doctor one last time in hopes of finally knowing a reason, it was still unclear and we all decided it was best to go to the Children’s hospital so this could finally be resolved.

Long nights, early mornings, no sleep, tests after tests and the same questions asked over and over again. It was exhausting. I have never felt so helpless. I tried to stay strong, encouraging her, supporting her, talking to the doctors and being by her side while my husband and both sides of our families cared for our five other daughters. Our family came to visit as much as possible, but the drive was far. I sat alone with Natalie when she went for her first scope. I sat alone with the doctor and received the awful news. But I was somehow relieved in those early moments. We finally had a name for what we were dealing with. Crohn’s disease. We now had a team of people who wanted to help us manage and get her disease under control. Such relief to no longer feel alone.

There have been hard days, and really hard days and then days it seems nothing ever really happened. And although we are so new to all of this, there are some things I have been learning along the way.

It’s ok to cry with them. They need to know they are not alone. I tried to stay strong, but being able to weep with her was soothing for both of us.

Keep the lines of communication open even when they are hurting and may say they don’t. Those thoughts and emotions have to be worked through. This is a tough diagnosis.

Find ways to laugh. In the hospital everything was so depressing for us. So when we got the results we made a Snapchat video to share it with everyone. Somehow it lightened the mood and helped us embrace our new reality.

Soak up these moments of bonding even though we all know we would rather bond over coffee dates and shopping trips and not hospital stays and long trips to see her specialist.

Do research and don’t be afraid to go with your gut (no pun intended). You know your son/daughter better than anyone else. Respect the doctors, but don’t be afraid to ask questions and have a voice in their treatment. You are your child’s best advocate.

My biggest encouragement is this, stop looking back. As a mom I want to turn back time. I want to fix it somehow. I want to change it all. Looking back only brings unnecessary guilt, sadness and regret.

Look forward. Find things to be thankful for. Do your best to give them the brightest future and speak life over them. Cherish every moment. And help them plan their future–which can be as bright as any other child.

To follow Cait and her family’s journey, check out her blog.

Six tips for being a healthy IBD mom

October 2, 2017Leave a comment

My little guy Reid turned six months old on September 29^th. Everyone always says how quickly time goes, but until it’s your reality…you don’t realize what a blur everything becomes. These past six months I’ve had the fear of a postpartum flare looming overhead. Wondering when my disease was going to re-surface with a vengeance. Luckily, despite having a few rough patches…I managed to stay out of the hospital and keep things under control on my own.

I’ll be the first to admit, mom guilt is real. It’s especially real when you’re grappling with a chronic condition like Crohn’s disease. Wishing you had more energy to keep up around the house, wondering how you’re going to play re-do the following days, weeks and years ahead. There are days and moments that push you and the struggle doesn’t get any easier when you have to care for more than just yourself. Sometimes it can feel like an uphill battle. Other days you feel like you can conquer the world. I wish I could bottle up those fleeting feelings of invincibility and use them when I need them most. Because just like when you’re diagnosed with Crohn’s… it’s a part of you for the rest of your life, and so is motherhood.

Here are six helpful tips for conquering motherhood with inflammatory bowel disease:

Get as much rest as possible

You know the advice you hear all the time “sleep when the baby sleeps”… pretty sure I actually only followed that rule of thumb a few times. But really, try and get as much shut-eye as possible. Especially after that early 3-4 am feeding. If you wake up again at 6 am you’ll at least feel like you’re just getting up for work or something! Work with your significant other to rotate who is getting up in the middle of the night and try to at least lay down, even if you’re not tired. My husband is always great about letting me “sleep in” on the weekends since I am the main caretaker all week. We all know IBD is a fatiguing illness as it is. The last thing you need is to couple that with utter and complete exhaustion.

Keep all your doctor appointments and wellness visits

Once you become a mom you quickly realize that your needs drop to the bottom of the totem pole. It’s imperative you don’t let your efforts to manage your illness go by the wayside. Even when you’re delirious, take your medications and go to your doctor appointments. I scheduled everything from my GI visits to bloodwork around times I could have a sitter. I didn’t want to bring my son around the germs of a hospital or a doctor’s office (other than the pediatrician) before he was six months old. You’ll also want to attend those appointments by yourself or with a loved one or a friend, so you can listen and focus.

When you have to go, GO.

One of the hardest things for me has been feeling the need to use the bathroom while feeding my son. I never want to interrupt his feeding or take the bottle away. Generally, when I do that he’s not the happiest with me. But you know what, the baby will survive if you need to take a five minute TV time-out and make a mad dash to the bathroom. In these past six months, I’ve carried Reid in the Rock N’Play and fed him from the door of the bathroom hunched over on the toilet on multiple occasions. How’s that for a visual, folks? Mom goals, right?!

Schedule a massage…or two

Ladies, I don’t know about you…but one of my biggest “complaints” during pregnancy and after my c-section was back pain. I’ve had two professional massages at the spa since Reid was born and they have done wonders to relieve the stress. Massage and meditation is also beneficial when it comes to keeping stress levels low. For me, stress is my main disease trigger. I know massages can break the bank, so ask for gift cards around the holidays, for Mother’s Day or your birthday. It’s the best treat.

Be mindful of what you eat and drink

Oftentimes the days are flying by so fast and you’re so focused on caring for your little one that you look at the clock and realize you forgot to eat the last few meals. For me, I constantly forget lunch. Don’t skimp on nutrition or eat foods that you know will trigger a negative response in your body. Try and meal plan and go grocery shopping on a Sunday so you have food readily available in your kitchen. Make enough for leftovers so you’re covered for lunch.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

This is much easier said than done, and I know I struggle with speaking up. But we must. Being a mom is a full-time job in and of itself and then some. It’s the most amazing and the most difficult role you’ll ever get to experience. Know that you have a tribe of loved ones—family members and friends who are on the sidelines just waiting to sneak in and get some snuggle time with your little one. Take them up on it. You need time for you. You need a break to clear your head. Just ask—even if it’s only for an hour, speak up and you won’t be disappointed.

As far as postpartum flares I am thrilled that I’ve made it Reid’s entire life without needing to make an emergency trip to the hospital. (knock on wood!) I was also told by my pediatrician that Reid would no longer have the remnants of Humira in his system once he hit this milestone. We kept a bit of a low-profile these past six months since Humira is an immune suppressant. Reid couldn’t be healthier. Still hasn’t had a cold yet, so I chalk that up to success! It’s amazing how great it feels to just get outside and take a walk, soak in the fresh air and that time with your baby.

When you have a little human who depends on you for everything, it’s easy to put your own self-care and disease management to the wayside. But the funny thing is—we can’t be good mamas if we’re not healthy. So, take that time for yourself. Give yourself time to get into a groove and a routine that works best for you. Then one day, whether you’re holding your baby or just changing a diaper you’ll feel this empowering epiphany come over you and you’ll think… “I got this”… and guess what, you do.

lights camera crohn's

an unobstructed view

Tag: Crohn’s disease