This post is sponsored by Smart Sharps Bin. All opinions expressed are my own and do not necessarily reflect the position of HealthBeacon plc or Hamilton Beach Brands, Inc.
I started doing my self-injection more than 14 years ago, long before I became an IBD mom. I went from being a single 20-something alone in my apartment mustering up the strength… to having a family around me while I receive my medication. The experience has changed greatly and so has my perspective.
There are many reasons why I have chosen not to hide my injections from my three children. Crohn’s disease impacts more than just the person who lives with it, it’s a family disease. Even though my children are ages five, three, and 16 months, there’s a deep level of understanding and empathy that starts from a very young age. My disease is part of me. I always try to be transparent about my health and well-being. I have never said “I have a disease” since my children wouldn’t understand that, but I try to explain that sometimes my “tummy” hurts and that “Mommy’s shot keeps me healthy, safe, and strong.”
My process for self-injecting every other Monday
Once dinner is over, I pull my injection out of the fridge and let it warm up on the counter, out of the reach of my kids. I’ve always preferred to do my shot at night so I can rest afterwards and have a sweet treat like ice cream as a reward after. After about 30 minutes to an hour, I head over to the couch, and my children hover around me. They watch as I wipe the alcohol swab counterclockwise and oftentimes help me hold the ice pack on my thigh for five minutes. Then, once it’s time to pull the top and bottom off the injection and get down to business, I let them know they need to give me some space and not to move or make any jerking motions. I pause. Smile sweetly at them and start my countdown, slowly and calmly…one one thousand…two one thousand…all the way to 10. They smile back at me and bounce around when I have finished self-injecting. They immediately want to see if I’m bleeding and want to make sure I’m not in pain and don’t need a band aid. I bounce up off the couch and act like it’s just another part of our bedtime routine.
Since we’ve been doing this “process” for as long as they can remember, it’s part of our family, and part of what it’s like for me as an IBD mom. My kids are my greatest cheerleaders and my reason “why” for everything I do in life.
The sweetest distraction
I find it empowering to look into their innocent eyes and joyful faces while I self-inject, it’s the best distraction. I used to stare at a focal point on the wall, a photo of someone who inspires me, or a show on the television, but looking at my kids—my greatest motivation to push through the difficult moments—is the best medicine, literally and figuratively. I make a point to smile at them and never show signs of weakness, so they see that I’m ok and doing something positive for myself. This has become a lot easier since the formula for Humira changed and is no longer painful. I used to really struggle to smile when the medication burned the first year and a half of my oldest son’s life.
When my injection used to be painful, my son would see through my smiles. He would often hold a toy and pretend to give himself his own injection. After I was done doing my shot, he would come up and kiss my thigh and say he loved me. At this point he wasn’t even two years old—kids of IBD parents just “get it,” their empathy and understanding of health is incredibly unique and special.
How that strength carries over into my children’s’ lives
Since my kids see me self-injecting every other Monday, they’ve become quite desensitized when it’s time for their own vaccinations at the pediatrician. When my older two children get their flu shots, they take them like champs. The nurses always laugh that they’re braver than some teenagers. When my kids smile and tell me they’re strong like me when I do my shot it’s bittersweet. While I wish they didn’t have to see me self-inject, it’s building their character and understanding of health in a beautiful way.
When it comes to the biologic, Humira (adalimumab), I am somewhat of an OG. I’ve taken Humira to manage and treat my Crohn’s disease since July 2008. We go wayyy back. Since my first loading dose 14 years ago, I’ve had hospitalizations, had bowel resection surgery, gotten engaged and married, traveled, worked full time, had three children, breastfed, been a stay-at-home mom…the list goes on. I’ll never forget how overwhelming it felt when I was lying in a hospital bed with an abscess the size of a tennis ball in my small intestine and when my GI at the time told me “It was time to break out the big guns.” The big guns being biologics.
My mom and I were upset. We were frantic. We were Googling. We were fearful of what this would mean for my childbearing years. I couldn’t fathom the thought of giving myself injections or getting infusions. My world came to a standstill. In that moment, I would have given anything to have a resource like this. An article that outlines patient experiences across the board. The good, the bad, the ugly. I write these articles, so you feel empowered and educated when you take the plunge or when you are forced to switch medications because another biologic fails you. I write these articles, so you feel confident in making informed choices and realize that the “big guns” are oftentimes necessary and not as scary as they sound.
As you read this article and others like it, please remember these are individual experiences. Just because one person had a terrible response or reaction doesn’t mean you will. Just because I haven’t had any side effects and have been able to stay on Humira for more than 14 years, doesn’t mean the same will be the case for you. Use these experiences to level your expectations and have a better grasp of what it’s like to be someone with IBD on a biologic drug and make an informed choice with your gastroenterologist.
If you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out previous Patient Experience articles I’ve shared on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s about:
For those who are “new” to Humira, those who are preparing to do their loading dose, or those who aren’t familiar with the drug—in the United States a new and MUCH improved Citrate-free formula came to market for pediatrics and adults in late summer/early fall 2018. I did my first Citrate-free or as many of us call them, “pain free” injection in September 2018 while pregnant with my second child. If you’ve been on Humira for a long time like me or tried it prior to that time, you know how painful the injections used to be and how much easier they are now. It’s a gamechanger. The loading dose used to be four injections—all in the same sitting that felt like liquid fire were going through your leg or abdomen. Fast forward to 2018, not only is the needle gauge smaller, but the formula no longer stings. Click here to watch the video of me experiencing Citrate-free Humira for the first time while pregnant.
I went from dreading my injections (even a decade in) to doing injections on my couch and smiling ear to ear while my kids watch me because I feel next to nothing. This is important context for this article. Some of the experiences you will hear will be from people who never had a chance to experience Citrate-free Humira, and others who say the shot is “easy” to do most likely started or were switched over to the pain-free version. This change in the formula has been an incredible win for anyone on Humira in the United States. The loading dose not only won’t hurt but is only two injections now versus the original four. The challenge is getting used to the mechanics of doing a self-injection and getting into the right headspace each time you’re due for a dose. Regardless of whether it hurts or not, you are still injecting a heavy-duty medication, which suppresses your immune system, into your body. I’m often asked if I get “sicker” being immunocompromised and being a mom of little ones—my answer to that is no. I am mindful of washing my hands and not eating or drinking off anyone. My GI has me do “safety labs” every three months to monitor my bloodwork, along with an annual colonoscopy.
Debbie: “I was on Humira for four years. I responded well at first and liked the ease of doing injections myself. The Citrate-free version was much better and less painful than the original version. I unfortunately ended up developing antibodies and have been switched to Stelara. I didn’t have any side effects with Humira other than some itchiness at the injection site. Ice helped a lot with that.”
Melanie: “After a reaction to Remicade, I was so anxious to try another biologic. This was in 2009 and Humira hurt so much. I had a massive panic attack trying to do the loading dose of the original version. I was 19 at the time. I couldn’t continue with it. Now, I’m on Cimzia, but had to take a mental health break from biologics for a few years.”
Brad: “I started Humira back in March of this year. It’s been a complete gamechanger for me. Humira has me in clinical remission as of my last colonoscopy. I don’t have much reaction to it. Sometimes, the injection can hurt a little bit, but usually not at all. I’m shocked at how easy it’s been. I was originally very nervous about starting an injectable.”
Jenn: “Humira was traumatizing. It took well over a year for me to self-inject without stressing and crying beforehand as the injection hurt so much. While it did provide relief from symptoms for a while, the reaction I ended up getting was significant, and impacted my ability to live normally. So not only had my Crohn’s symptoms returned, but they were also joined by additional symptoms caused from a reaction I was having to the medication. I will never not be a proponent of taking meds as they do help, but I will also never forget the experiences I lived due to them.”
Natasha: “I was in the pediatric trials for Humira. I don’t remember it doing much, but almost 15 years later, I’m still traumatized by the trigger mechanism and feel the phantom pains in my legs from doing them for so long. Anytime a new medication it brought up and it’s a shot, I ask if there are self-administered options vs the auto injector. The PTSD is bad.”
**It should be noted Humira can be administered with an auto-injector pen (where you press down on a button and there’s a clicking sound) or with a syringe where you draw up the medication. I have only used the auto-injector and prefer the ease of it, but it’s all personal preference and what you are comfortable with.**
A mixed bag of experiences
Sofia is now on Stelara after having surgery to remove some of her bowel. When she thinks back to her time on Humira, it’s not a pleasant memory.
“I experienced all the normal flare up symptoms while taking Humira and gained a lot of weight. I just remember my self-esteem plummeted as well as my hopes for remission.”
Kathy: “I was on Remicade, but I’ve been on Humira now for five years and have had great results with minimal side effects.”
Kaitlyn: “I have been on Humira for a few months to treat my Crohn’s disease and Hidradenitis Supprativa and it has been life-changing. My Crohn’s is in microbial remission, and I no longer have to get weekly, painful steroid injections for my HS.”
Jessica: “I’ve been on Humira for four years and my last colonoscopy showed there was mucosal healing and no active Crohn’s. I inject every 14 days and it has gotten easier, especially when I inject and tell myself that it is healing my body. Then, I don’t feel the shot. I’m very thankful for it!”
Myisha was on Humira for a year and then had a major allergic reaction.
“The last injection I gave myself, my face, lips, and mouth swelled up and I got lightheaded. My husband immediately called my GI and I had to be given an EPI pen along with 4 Benadryl intravenously after being rushed to the emergency room. I experienced hypersensitivity anaphylaxis and angioneurotic edema.”
Keyla: “When I was on Humira, it made me lose my hair. I felt terrible on it, and I never noticed much improvement with my IBD.”
Danielle has struggled to find a biologic that manages her disease. Both Humira and Entyvio failed her. She’s now on Stelara.
“I was on Humira for three months in 2021. It worked amazing right off the bat, then suddenly I had no response whatsoever. The injections were quite traumatic for me as I had one injection needle fall apart as I was giving the injection.”
Sarah: “Humira has improved my life and helped manage my Crohn’s symptoms and allowed me to eat a wider variety of foods then when on previous medications. However, there have been some compromises on my part. I’ve dealt with some bad injection site reactions that have caused me to have to take allergy medication prior to administering it to help manage the reaction. I’ve also experienced severe sinus congestion and uveitis that I did not have prior to taking Humira. I’ve lost some sense of smell due to how bad my congestion can get, and I can’t touch or rub my eyes without risking a flare up of uveitis. Overall, I would say that it has been worth taking Humira. I’ve learned to manage my side effects and have gotten over my fear or self-injection.”
Catie: “My experience with Humira was good at the beginning. The medicine helped me achieve remission. The injections were always so painful no matter what tricks I tried. I ended up getting drug-induced lupus from Humira, so I went off the drug. The drug-induced lupus took more than a year to recover from—it was awful.”
Hayley: “I was on Humira for a year and was doing great on it, practically in remission. Unfortunately, I developed psoriasis (which I’ve been told is a rare allergic reaction to the drug itself). My sister who has Crohn’s was also on Humira and had the same reaction. I wish I could’ve stayed on it longer because it was easy and helped me so much, but unfortunately, I had to come off it. It was my first biologic and gave me a lot of hope!”
Krista: “I was on Humira for about 6 months. It was working great—other than extremely painful injector pen that I dreaded using every month. I started to develop scaly patches on my legs, back, stomach, and scalp. My hair started falling out where the scaly patches came up on my scalp. My dermatologist thought I had biologic-induced psoriasis, so I stopped taking it. My biopsies came back negative for psoriasis, but I still ended up switching medications.”
Melissa: “I was on Humira in the past. It didn’t work for me and caused me so many issues. My body itched so badly while on it. I would scratch sores on my body from it. My joints ached all the time. And on top of it, my ulcerative colitis got worse while on it.”
Adriana: “I was on Humira for a year. I did weekly injections, but they wanted to increase my dosage to two injections. For me, it didn’t work (as with a lot of drugs I was on), but out of all of them, it worked best at making me feel better. I don’t remember having too many side effects from Humira besides slight bruising around the injection site, but definitely worth a try!”
Ellie: “I started Humira in 2019 after a four-month bout with steroids. I went into remission a month later after only two injections. I have remained in remission ever since.”
Dana: “I was on Humira for around 2 years. It put me into remission, and I was doing very well, but then I started to have Crohn’s symptoms. My doctor thought about increasing the frequency of my dosage, but my blood levels were adequate, and she didn’t want them to become too elevated with an increase in dosage. I also developed severe psoriasis on my scalp as a side effect. I ended up flaring and having to stop Humira to try something else.”
Jessica: “Humira has been great for me! Really no side effects. I did have to increase my dose to weekly because I metabolize medication too quickly.”
Phil: “I had a small bowel resection in 2004 and after a 10-year remission, my Crohn’s became active again. I was put on Humira, and it was amazing for about 7 years with a few side effects, biggest one being hypersensitivity to the sun. I miss being on Humira because it also helped my joint pain and psoriasis.”
Stacey: “Humira was my final effort to save my large intestine and felt pretty good on it! Aside from horrid cystic bacne, which isn’t listed as a documented side effect (but I swear there was an association there!), I had no side effects, and I felt great on Humira! It gave me a quality of life! I was on Humira when I made the hard choice to have a total colectomy, and the disease had spread since my scope four months prior. Goes to show that symptoms don’t always correlate with inflammation. But I’m grateful for my experience and the opportunity to safely take Humira.”
Pregnancy and motherhood with Humira
As an IBD mom of three, I stayed on Humira until 39 weeks pregnant with my oldest, and 37 weeks with my second and third child. I had scheduled c-sections with all three, so I was able to coordinate my injection schedule with my GI ahead of time. I breastfed my second child for about 6 months and supplemented and just finished exclusively breastfeeding my 14-month-old—all while on Humira. I have three, perfectly healthy children and had flawless, Crohn’s-free pregnancies. I also did not experience post-partum flares and I credit that to the fact I stayed on my medication and picked it right back up the day we brought the babies home from the hospital.
Check out these helpful resources for pregnancy and biologics and have long-term research that shows the safety and efficacy of staying on Humira through the entire family planning process, pregnancy, and beyond:
Dani: “My experience with Humira has been wonderful. I’ve been taking Humira for two years. The nurse ambassadors are so nice and helpful. I was nervous about the injections, but they really are so easy and don’t hurt. Humira has helped me to feel the best I’ve felt since my Crohn’s diagnosis 4.5 years ago. I stayed on Humira through my pregnancy, and I had no Crohn’s related issues during or after. It’s been a life-changer. Most days, I almost forget I have a chronic illness. I’m praying things stay like this, at least until we have another child.”
Stephanie: “I have been on Humira since 2016. I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis postpartum after my first baby in 2015 and was incredibly sick. I had multiple blood transfusions, tons of steroids, etc. I had some reactions to Humira when I started taking it (skin rashes and almost withdrawal-like symptoms) before the two weeks was over, which almost presented itself like lupus, so I was put on weekly injections and have been doing that ever since. After I was put on Humira, it was a lifesaver. I felt the best I had in forever. Since having my second child in 2019, it’s been more up and down. At my next colonoscopy, we will look to see if I have inflammation still and if I do, I will go off Humira (which is so scary to me) and try something new.”
Katie: “I have been on Humira for 7 months. I was completely terrified to be on Humira, but I was so sick, and knew I needed to do something for not only myself, but my husband and my kids. Humira has gotten me back to the point of feeling back to my normal self. The only side effect I noticed for the first few injections is I would feel absolutely exhausted that next night. It’s super quick and I get on with life as usual!”
Sarah: “I have been on Humira for a little over a year now. I was on it while pregnant with my son. It was an easy process. But now that I’m 4 months postpartum, I am experiencing some weird side effects. My liver levels are elevated, and I am getting symptoms back. My GI and rheumatologist are thinking of moving me to once a week or adding another medication. I am fearful they will switch me off or add things and I won’t be able to breastfeed any longer. Humira has been wonderful, and I am just nervous my body has begun to build antibodies against it.”
Cece: “I have struggled with my ulcerative colitis symptoms on and off since I was 19. At 36 years old, after trying 3 years to get pregnant, I had a colonoscopy that revealed active inflammation. That was what finally pushed me to get on Humira. My symptoms settled down and luckily, I’ve been in remission and feeling great ulcerative colitis-wise through IVF, pregnancy, and breastfeeding.”
The Pediatric patient point of view
Emily is a 13-year-old who has been on Humira for three years. She says Humira has done a lot to help her get Crohn’s under control.
“Doing injections myself has helped. It feels better to “be in control” of giving yourself the shot. I’ve been having less stomach pains and less joint pains from Humira. My joint pain and stomach aches used to be really bad. I used to cry myself asleep at night because how bad the pain was for both my joints and stomach. Now that rarely happens. Yes, I still get joint pains, but not to the point where I start crying. I get a little tired after the shot, but it helps me a lot. So many positives.”
Celia is 15-years-old and started Humira in October 2021. About two months after her initial loading dose, she started to notice less bowel movements, but still had urgency and abdominal cramping. Her GI decided to increase her dose to 80 mg since her inflammation markers were elevated and she was flaring. (Typically, we are put on 40 mg injections, twice a month).
“I feel better! I still have my bad days and have had minor issues. I’m hopeful that this will be the medicine to get me into remission! On the mental side of things, I have struggled with injection anxiety. I have never been afraid of needles, and I’m still not, but I overthink every injection. That has been my greatest struggle on Humira, but I’m hopeful over time I’ll overcome it!”
Cindy’s 8-year-old daughter is on Humira. She says the various worries and challenges all give way in the end to gratitude.
“Humira is saving my daughter’s life and giving her a tremendous quality of life. Thirty years ago, an 8-year-old would have had such a different trajectory my she is experiencing and hopefully will continue to have. I love science.”
Struggles with access to Humira
Regardless of the biologic you are on, dealing with insurance, prior authorizations, and specialty pharmacies can make access to drugs like Humira a challenge. AbbVie (the maker of Humira) offers several programs to help streamline the process and take some of the burden off patients.
Once you enroll in Humira Complete, you are connected with a Nurse Ambassador who will speak with you directly (and even do in-person visits) to help you gain confidence and understanding about everything from administering your medication to any side effects you may be dealing with. Humira Complete offers a Patient Savings Card and Prescription rebates, and offers injection training through videos, an App to help you stay on track, and 24/7 availability should you need to reach someone. The phone number for Humira Complete is 1-800-4HUMIRA (1-800-448-6472).
Even though Humira Complete exists and has helped me many times, there are still many patients dealing with access issues or completely unaware of the fact that the programs and savings are available:
Emily: “I have been on Humira since October of last year and it has been both great and horrible for me. Remicade stopped working for me after 5 years and Humira was able to help calm down the flare I had been experiencing. I learned with time that at home injections weren’t something to fear. Humira is very convenient. Humira came with large bills and a battle with insurance and Accredo pharmacy. Every month, unnecessary stress had been added to my already full college schedule. In between classes I found myself calling multiple people to make sure my medication was going to arrive on time and that it didn’t cost me $4,000 each time. I’ve had issues almost every single time I refill my medicine. It almost makes me want to switch medicine just so I don’t have to deal with it, which is unfortunate because the medicine itself helps me.”
Sydney: “I just came off Humira. It worked great until it didn’t anymore. The formula changed a few years ago, which made it a lot more tolerable, but for a very tiny human, the auto injector caused some atrocious bruises. I ended up having to use syringes because of the bruising. It was a fight with insurance almost every time I needed a re-fill. The medication was good, but the stress trying to get it was almost not worth it. I only reached remission for about a year on it and then my body figured it out.”
Sam: “I have been on Humira for five years. I would say the issues aren’t the drug itself. Insurance companies make it so hard to get access. Ordering my medication from a specialty pharmacy is the worst.”
Christie: “I have been on Humira for three years after being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in early 2019. The decision to begin taking Humira was a tough one, but I wanted to try anything to reach remission. While I have had a few insurance hiccups here and there, my experience with Humira has been great. I am enrolled in the Humira Complete Program, where I can track my injections and a nurse ambassador calls me once a month to check in. The resources AbbVie offers are incredibly helpful. Overall, I credit Humira for getting me into symptomatic and endoscopic remission.”
Final thoughts
All in all, you must always weigh the risks versus the benefits when determining a treatment plan with your physician, regardless of the medication. I personally have not dealt with side effects and have relied on Humira to help me maintain my remission and feel my best so I can be present for my family. What started out as a shocking change in my life, is now just part of my routine. Be patient with yourself and whether the injection hurts or not, reward yourself after. I usually enjoy some ice cream while watching reality TV. Giving yourself an injection isn’t easy, treat yourself to something for being a compliant patient who is doing all you can to help treat an unpredictable and complicated disease. And most importantly, remember you are not alone in your fears, your struggles, and your worries.
On the last day of 8th grade most kids are anxiously awaiting summer and moving onto high school, but for Candace Monacelli, that wasn’t the case. Instead, June 7th, 2007, she was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at age 14.
As you can imagine, a lot has transpired since that monumental day. Candace now works as a morning meteorologist and reporter in Grand Rapids at WXMI-TV. She’s been at her current station for five years and has worked in the TV business for seven. This week she shares how Crohn’s has impacted her life but didn’t rob her of her hopes and dreams of working in TV news.
When it comes to going after your dreams and following your career aspirations, I see a lot of Candace in myself. We recently connected on Instagram and realized the parallels of our experience. Despite my Crohn’s diagnosis, I went on to work in TV news 3 months after finding out I had Crohn’s. I worked on morning shows for 7 years, she’s a morning meteorologist. We both do/did what we could to be the bubbly/happy on-air morning gals, while facing major battles and pain internally. We both encountered serious hospitalizations and bounced back to be on camera shortly thereafter. Being on steroids is hard enough…going on camera while on steroids and being judged by keyboard warriors and unkind strangers is a whole different story.
A walk down memory lane
“My family and I had never heard of Crohn’s disease before and knew nothing about it or what my life would look like moving forward. I was sick for months prior to my diagnosis. My parents and I learned along the way, but my mom was my right-hand lady at every doctor’s appointment trying to figure out my illness. My parents were just so happy to have a name and a cause to me being so sick, they just described it as my stomach not being normal and we would figure this all out together. Then, I was put on steroids which resulted in weight gain and being bullied.”
Aside from hurtful words from her peers and juggling life as a teen with doctor appointments and colonoscopies, Candace says her disease at the time was well-managed with 6mp. When she moved onto college, she dealt with the challenge of wanting to live life like a typical student. By the time she was ready to enter the real world she not only graduated from college but also onto biologics (Humira).
Life in the TV spotlight
While in high school Candace discovered she loved public speaking and visited a local television station—she was hooked. Since she was already a decade into her patient journey, she didn’t second guess going after her dream of working in TV news as a meteorologist and reporter.
“Everyone thinks of Crohn’s as a pooping disease and while it is so much more than that, it is still a factor of the disease. The hardest part of my job is the limited time or access to a bathroom. Either I am covering something in the field with no restroom nearby or I have two minutes during a commercial break to hurry to the bathroom and be ready to go on air again. There’s been some interesting behind the scenes moments, but luckily, I am open with my crew and choose to be lighthearted about the bathroom aspect.”
Over the years, Candace has learned how to read her body and know when she can’t push through or make it on air.
“When the light goes on, it’s showtime. No matter how I am feeling… there’s been many days where I feel terrible but must put on a smile because I look perfectly healthy and it’s my job to come off that way. Being in the public eye with IBD can be pretty taxing some days.”
Juggling surgeries, abscesses, and fistulas
Up until this story—Candace has not spoken openly about her struggles with abscesses and fistulas. As a public facing person, discussing this private and often taboo topic is something that takes a lot of guts to be open about.
“Abscesses and fistulas make you feel so broken and constantly worried that if someone finds out the truth, they will instantly think you are the dirtiest person on this Earth. My palms are sweating, and I feel like I could puke, knowing strangers will now know this about me. But I am sharing in hopes to help that one person that is feeling just as alone as I do somedays.”
Even after five surgeries, Candace still has problems with abscesses and fistulas and somedays are better than others with numerous new challenges in her life.
“Sitting for a long time is now my own personal Olympic sport because it’s painful some days. I used to consider myself a runner, but that is now off the table for me, and my bathroom breaks are different. It’s been a scary learning curve trying to figure out how to handle something so foreign, that is now very much a part of every aspect of my daily life.”
Candace joined specific Facebook groups for her condition, as she desperately searched for others going through the same reality. More than anything else her family and friends are really what get her through.
“Every single person close to me has helped me know I am not alone and helps me get through difficult days, whether it’s a simple ‘how are you feeling?’… or crying with me on the bathroom floor.”
Going back on air after surgery
The first surgery to treat her abscesses and fistulas was an emergency and was unexpected. Candace was back on air four days after being discharged from the hospital.
“It sounds just as crazy as it was, but I am a stubborn Italian and never let Crohn’s win, so I somehow went back to work. My parents and boyfriend (now husband) weren’t happy with me, but I insisted on returning to the job I love. I remember having to practice getting in the car and making sure I could handle driving around my neighborhood the day before, since I leave for work at 2 in the morning.”
Candace remembers waking up that day, knowing what she just went through, and what it felt like to go back on camera in front of thousands of people who had no clue what she was enduring.
“I remember talking to myself on the ride to work thinking “what are you doing Candace you are a mess.” That first day back was mentally very hard to smile and pretend I felt like a million dollars when I did not. No one wants to watch the “sick” meteorologist on air so I couldn’t be that girl. Behind the scenes was an interesting hot mess as I had to put a blanket down to lay on the floor to work or just take a break since I couldn’t sit – I had to lay down at work for a month or more after each surgery.”
Candace learned her lesson and she didn’t rush her recovery after more recent surgeries.
“I found that allowing myself to heal and rest is not letting Crohn’s win but doing what is best and needed for myself in that moment. The stubborn Italian in me still struggles with giving myself time and grace, so it’s a work in progress.”
Being an open book with viewers and the community
Candace’s viewers know she has Crohn’s disease. She decided to openly share her experience with IBD to spread awareness and help make a difference.
“If I can share my story and experiences to reach one person and make them not feel so alone, then it’s one thousand percent worth it to me. I’ve also covered and shared numerous stories of IBD warriors within my community and get media coverage for all the Crohn’s and Colitis foundation events every year. The more awareness the better and I am blessed with a perfect platform to help make that possible.”
Advice for fellow IBD warriors
Candace has this advice for anyone worried about their futures—whether it’s a parent with a child who has IBD, or someone diagnosed at an early age.
“Where there is a will, there’s a way. Everyone has a cross to carry in life and our cross just happens to be IBD. In a weird, twisted way, this disease makes you strong enough to conquer whatever you put your mind to. We see people with IBD be professional sports players and movie stars, to everyone in between, including little old me… every IBD warrior can do whatever they dream to be one day. We are warriors fighting a battle every day, whether it’s big or small. Even when you yourself or someone you care for is sick or having a tough day, we need to know better days will happen again – just like the weather it can’t always rain forever…. You will feel better one day.”
I asked Candace what she would tell her younger self if she could go back to when she was diagnosed in eighth grade. Here’s what she said:
“IBD will challenge you more than you can ever imagine but will also make you into the strong person you love. The life God gave you is tough, but it’s nothing he knew you couldn’t handle. It’s a battle you won’t ever lose. One day you will get everything you prayed for, even through everything Crohn’s throws your way.”
Candace is in remission in terms of her colon, but her rectum is still problematic and causing active disease. She gets Remicade infusions and avoids eating too much dairy, spicy foods, and salads. Candace drinks one cup of mushroom coffee most days and eats a mostly plant-based/Mediterranean diet.
Finding love with IBD
Candace met her husband on Match while working in her current TV market. She says they fell in love fast, and the rest is history!
“We moved in together, he proposed, and we had to postpone our wedding because of COVID. Now, we’re finally married and have a new house and a puppy. Life is good! My husband is the most loving and caring man helping me through all things Crohn’s. He is a saint straight from the heavens being right there by my side through everything. He has even spent one of his birthdays with me in the hospital for a surgery. He pushes me when I’m in a hole and feeling sorry for myself to help me realize my worth and remember that Crohn’s doesn’t completely define me.”
Ah, specialty pharmacies. Just hearing those two words probably makes you feel a certain way. I’ve been coordinating my Humira through mail-order shipments since July 2008. Nearly 14 years now. Since that time, I’ve dealt with several different pharmacies. Each job change or insurance shift has resulted in a specialty pharmacy update. Lucky for me, each transition has been seamless. Except for now. My husband’s company switched specialty pharmacy providers at the start of 2022. I went from using Alliance RX Walgreens to Accredo Express Scripts.
The first shipment went well, but my second month was a mess. I’ve ordered Humira monthly—163 times to be exact. This was the FIRST TIME I didn’t have my medication on time and had to do my injection late. This week on Lights, Camera, Crohn’s a look at the literal and proverbial headache countless chronic illness patients are forced to deal with month after month and my advice as a veteran Crohn’s patient for all specialty pharmacies moving forward.
Here’s how it all played out (This ordeal gave me a pounding headache)
I ordered my Humira over the phone like I always do, and I was told it would ship to me on Thursday, February 3 and arrive on my doorstep February 4. That day came and went. Radio silence. Crickets. No communication about a delay due to winter weather. Mind you, the roads were cleared, and the snow had stopped the day prior.
I called Express Scripts on Saturday, February 5th and spoke with 2 call representatives, or as they call themselves “patient care advocate representatives” …insert laugh. Both representatives were incredibly dismissive and told me conflicting information. The first told me the shipment went out FedEx on the 3rd…but that she didn’t have a tracking number. She insisted on giving me the number for FedEx so I could track down the shipment or go to a facility to pick it up. Um, no. I refused and told her she should be able to track it down for me and that this was not my responsibility. She told me I could talk with a pharmacist about my concerns about my temperature-controlled medication being out in the elements during the Midwest winter for five days.
She puts me on hold for 10-minute stretches, and finally after 3 times, I ask to speak to a manager. She tells me she has a manager on the line and that she’ll connect me through, but I end up on hold, again. Finally, she returns and tells me the supervisor can’t receive her call, so I tell her to just call me back directly.
While this is going on, I have another call going through on my husband’s phone in hopes of getting through to someone. That representative was even MORE dismissive. Did not apologize. Acted like I had an attitude and told me there was nothing she could do.
When the “Resolution Team Leader” called me back directly she informed me that shipments go through UPS, not FedEx. Wow. Good to know. Glad I didn’t waste more of my time trying to get through to a FedEx facility on a Saturday. She told me that unfortunately the soonest medication was able to be shipped to St. Louis through their Memphis UPS facility (I learned that’s where my Humira comes from) would be Monday, but most likely Tuesday (Feb. 8).
Here’s why this is so problematic
IBD patients and chronic illness “customers” of specialty pharmacies are on scheduled medications, in my case, a biologic. This isn’t something that you can just delay because ‘oh well, it’s sunny and 45 degrees, it will come in a few days’. Lucky for me, I’m in remission with my Crohn’s disease. What if I was flaring? What if this was a loading dose of the medication that I needed to receive? What if I was traveling and had planned to pack my injection with me? What if I had been off my medication to deliver a baby and needed to start it back up? What if I were pregnant and couldn’t chance missing a dose? There are so many complicated scenarios. This isn’t a pair of leggings I ordered off Amazon that can wait a few days. This is medication that controls a debilitating and unpredictable disease.
Here’s how Express Scripts and pharmacies can do better
Basic business etiquette with customers (aka your patients). Don’t belittle, diminish, or act like you could give two shits about the other person on the line. We are chronically ill people who are juggling a million balls in the air at once to function like the rest of society while managing our health. The last thing we want to do is waste our precious energy going back and forth on the phone and having to stress about getting the medication we depend on to function.
If there is inclement weather or a reason for medicine to be delayed, you should be sending text and email alerts. I was told by the Resolution Team Lead that I was only partially opted in for these—mind you, this was my second re-fill of medication with Express Scripts. The first time a patient sets up an order this should be discussed with a patient over the phone.
I’ve been receiving specialty pharmacy medication in the mail since 2008. This isn’t my first rodeo, but this is the first time I’ve ever had medication delayed. Mind you, I’ve lived in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Missouri this entire time and encountered snowstorms and blizzards each winter without delivery issues. The snow stopped here on a Thursday…but my medicine can’t come until a Tuesday through UPS? Mind-blowing.
Since I was not notified on this delay, I spent all day checking my front porch, anxiously awaiting the delivery so it wouldn’t sit out and freeze on my doorstep. If I wouldn’t have proactively followed up the day after my medication was to arrive, I would have had no way of knowing when my shipment was going to arrive or what happened.
The onus of this should not be on the patient. We’re paying THOUSANDS of dollars for medications. The burden of this should be on the specialty pharmacy who has the job of coordinating prescriptions and making sure they are shipped.
Talk with patient advocates from all disease areas to help you learn how to best communicate and coordinate care. This blog is free advice. If you want invaluable insight like this moving forward, be prepared to compensate patients to share their viewpoints that you wouldn’t otherwise have. Give us a seat at the table to inform you of the shortfalls and the wins so you know where the improvements can be made and where you are successful.
Be kind and understanding when doing these phone calls. Think about the patient who is person on the receiving end who is calling about medication with a laundry list of side effects. It adds salt into the wound when your experience coordinating medication shipments is so negative and unempathetic. We are not just numbers.
As patients our hands are tied. We must go through the specialty pharmacy allocated to us through our insurance. You have that going for you. Now you literally have one job… to do yours.
“Sincerely” want to help, yet never reached out as they claimed they would over tweets and direct message. That “empathy” is clearly all for show.
I tapped into the IBD community on Instagram and was blown away by the number of direct messages and comments from those who have struggled to get their critical medication through specialty pharmacies. This is unacceptable and eye-opening. Here are *some* of the stories.
“I will never use Express Scripts for my Humira, again. When I started it, I couldn’t walk or stand or do anything really because of my ankylosing spondylitis. They had the audacity to tell me I can expect my first shipment of medication in 1-2 months because there’s a lot of “processing involved.” They were acting like they were making the drug themselves. It had nothing to do with pre-certification. Everything was already processed and approved through insurance. Luckily, I was able to get my injections from a local specialty pharmacy the same day I called.”
“The number of issues I’ve had over the years with specialty pharmacies is ridiculous. My GI has an unlimited expiration/refills for my prescriptions, yet every year we must “renew” and it’s never at the start of the year. It’s always some random time when my shipment doesn’t go out as scheduled and the only reason, I find out is because I call and question the delay. They’re NEVER proactive. One of my most frustrating situations was a delayed delivery. It was supposed to arrive via UPS per tracking. The driver never showed. I called repeatedly and no one could tell me where the driver was. Eventually the next day I learned the driver left it in the truck and brought it back to the warehouse where I was told by the pharmacy to go and pick it up myself. Mind you it had already exceeded refrigeration time so there was no way it was safe for me to use. I then spent the next two days trying to get a new shipment processed.”
“From personal experience with Express Scripts and their specialty pharmacy Accredo, my Stelara is delayed every time. It’s gotten to the point that if they are going to make me late on it, I make them do same day delivery. They can make this happen if it’s not a holiday. Insist the medication gets delivered and don’t back down, demand for a private courier service.”
“I have to use CVS Specialty Pharmacy for Humira, they are absolute trash. I confirmed twice that my Humira would ship, and then it never arrived. I called and they took my insurance information, again, and told me it would take three days to process before I could re-order my medication. I waited and called again and then they told me my insurance had been denied. I was on the phone for six hours trying to figure out what was wrong. They finally re-shipped the medication only for it to be delayed by UPS and 8 injectable pens got too warm and had to be discarded…so I had to start again with another shipment! By the time I got the package, my dose was a week late.”
“I recently switched from my hospital’s special pharmacy to CVS Specialty Pharmacy due to my insurance changing and I didn’t get my Humira until 10 days after I was due for my injection. It was such a frustrating process and anxiety provoking.”
“Express Scripts issue with Humira. I spent 30 minutes trying to work out a $1,000 billing error on their part. After a half hour, they told me that they couldn’t fix billing issue the same day and that I would need to call back the following day and have the same conversation all over again.”
“Optium RX makes me cry at least once a year. Every year I try and beat the pre-authorization loopholes to get my medication on time and there’s always something new. Having to push my medication schedule is so defeating.”
“It’s a mess trying to work with a specialty pharmacy. I have never had a pleasant, easy experience with them. I’ve had four medications (IV and self-administered) sent to Accredo within Express Scripts over the last nine years. To this day, I have to spend at least an hour on the phone so they can run the co-pay assistance information…so for a bit, my co-pay was $2,000!”
“I have been on biologics for about a decade, and I think I could write a book about specialty pharmacy debacles. The latest being that as I was checking out on the phone, the rep commented on my insurance because it had my husband’s company (a popular brand). Thing is, he left the company 18 months ago and at that time I contact the pharmacy with my new insurance, went through the run around of changing insurance getting pre-authorizations, etc. They had been charging the old insurance the entire time. They attempted billing me $18,000 which I am still fighting. I’ve spent over 50 hours on the phone dealing with this and had many sleepless nights.”
“I went without my biologic for nine months because my insurance company through John Hopkins Hospital said I required prior authorization, when in fact I had prior authorization for the 277 refills that my prescription had. I had to advocate for myself to both my GI and primary care physician and they sent 378 pages of my medical records along with a 3-page email about my medication for it to be approved. To this day, I still have issues processing my orders.”
“At the end of the year, I received an email from Express Scripts that said Remicade would no longer be covered, and I would need to switch to the biosimilar, Inflectra. I called to confirm this, and no one could help me. I spent 8 hours over the next two weeks trying to determine if this was really the case. I had to call Blue Cross Blue Shield who then said I should speak to Express Scripts…who then transferred me to the Specialty Pharmacy, Accredo. I was then told by Accredo that I should talk to Blue Cross. It was the most frustrating thing. All I wanted to do was confirm if Remicade was not going to be covered and if it wasn’t what the cost of the biosimilar was going to be for me. Finally, a pharmacist assistant at the infusion center was able to help me.”
“My specialty pharmacy was late with my FIRST maintenance dose of Humira by 3 weeks. The pharmacy said they could only find the prior authorization for the loading doses and not the doses after. Then, my doctor sent me the copy of what they sent the first time, and my maintenance doses were clearly part of the prior auth. The pharmacy argued with me that my doctor didn’t fill it out correctly. They finally sent it, but accidentally sent it FedEx ground in July…and had to re-send it.”
“When I first switched to Humira, Express Scripts, said it wasn’t on their preferred list unless there was a good reason. I told the call rep I had gone into anaphylaxis. She said that I was going to need an actual reason or something serious. I told her I was going to need to speak with her manager because last I checked…not being able to breathe was serious.”
“My workplace changed insurance carriers and promised me that coverage would remain the same through Cigna and Caremark, with the specialty pharmacy being Accredo. Suddenly, I got a call that the Entyvio I take every 4 weeks is not covered at that frequency and also not covered at the Family Health Center where I’ve always received it. Naturally, I raised hell. Had to submit a new pre-certification which took almost 28 days to get approved, switched to a new private infusion center and abandoned my tried-and-true site, and spent more than 8 hours on the phone to do one simple thing: be able to receive the medicine I’ve taken for years. It’s unreal how insurance and specialty pharmacies just make decisions without considering the inconvenience and stress it puts on patients.”
“Specialty pharmacies are just an additional hurdle between a patient and their medicine. It’s like you’re playing a game of telephone and more players are added to the circle and increasing the odds of a miscommunication. When a problem arises you now have to make sure you smooth it out with health insurance, your doctor’s office, and your pharmacy. Oftentimes you don’t know where the problem arises in the first place because of all the finger pointing. I haven’t had a Remicade infusion since December 16th…even though I’m due every 4 weeks.”
“I had a specialty pharmacy send me my Stelara injections without ANY cold packs. Just in a cardboard box. I had not refilled it in 4 months because I was on Entyvio at the time so luckily, I wasn’t going to use it, but it was a mess. The company was so accusatory when I asked to return it until I told them there were no cold packs…shut them up real quick.”
“I called Accredo weeks ago to make sure my medication was going to arrive because my GI sent in a renewed script. I followed up daily the week I wanted to place the order, but they kept saying it was in processing and delayed. My prior authorization goes to 2024, my doctor did everything he could, yet Accredo still couldn’t tell me what the hold up was. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I really don’t want to mess up the timing of my doses. Person after person says they have it handled, but it’s never the case. I feel like they just give the runaround to get you off the phone. It’s unbelievable how much time gets spent dealing with this. It feels like phone call roulette. It gives me serious anxiety every month.”
“When the new year started my specialty pharmacy would not accept my new Humira Savings Card. It took 10 phone calls and all parties, and it ended with an hour and a half call trying to get $5,000 reimbursed. The provider laughed when I asked then I had him call AbbVie and within 10 minutes the guy did a complete 180 and I was reimbursed. It’s scary to think what would happen if a patient didn’t fight back or speak up.”
“Your post about Express Scripts is triggering. My daughter, age 25, was diagnosed with UC at age 17. She is on our insurance a few more months. Express Scripts became our new online pharmacy a year ago. They’ve been horrific to deal with. She’s only on basic medications—mesalamine, Canasa suppositories and enemas. I dread the thought of what it might be like with them for more complex medications.”
…and there were SO many more messages that I received. Are you seeing a pattern here? This is ridiculous. It’s heartbreaking, frustrating, and sad. The incompetence and lack of care is comical. DO BETTER. I spoke with five different call reps/managers at Accredo and each time it was like I was calling for the first time. Take notes when you’re talking to patients/customers, so you don’t sound clueless on the other line and waste everyone’s time. You can at least pretend to care.
Advice for handling specialty pharmacy issues
Document, document, document! If you are having trouble with your specialty pharmacy, you should document each call and issue. Take note of the date, time, and describe what went down. Then, send a log of all the issues you’ve had to your employer and whoever oversees insurance so that they are aware. If HR gets enough complaints, they’ll look into a new pharmacy for employees.
Advocate for yourself and don’t back down. Be a thorn in their side. Tell them like it is and always ask to escalate the issue and speak to a manager. Get your GI involved and have them go to bat for you, too.
Check with your GI if you’re in a pinch. Oftentimes GI offices carry a couple of injections. You may be able to go and pick one up at the office if you need one. Always worth an ask if you’re in a tough position and don’t know when your medicine is going to arrive.
Contact the pharmaceutical company who makes your drug. One of my IBD friends manages a large practice in Boston. She advised me to contact the AbbVie Ambassador, which is a program available to patients for situations like this. They can overnight you a Humira pen to bridge the gap while companies like Express Scripts figure out their mess.
“The AbbVie ambassador program is a lifesaver for many of our patients when the specialty pharmacies fail! It is soooo frustrating. We see it all the time in our patients, and I’ve experienced it personally, too.”
Utilize social media. Having an issue with your specialty pharmacy? Head to social media (Twitter is best for this) and tag them publicly with your complaint.
Well, after dodging the son of a bitch since March 2020 and doing all I could to stay well, I have COVID. My husband and I started with symptoms New Year’s Eve. Quite the way to welcome in 2022, let me tell ya. As an IBD mom of three little ones who is immunocompromised from my medication, I, like so many others have been worried about this since the moment the pandemic began. One of my greatest fears became my reality. My husband tested positive the day he was scheduled for his booster. I’m triple vaxxed (since late July!) and that still wasn’t enough to protect me. I do believe the vaccines lightened the load of the illness and I’m grateful we had them.
Like I do with all my blog articles and reporting, I prefer to be transparent and honest about my personal experience in hopes of helping others. I’ve been keeping track of my symptoms daily and monitoring how the illness has manifested in me since it began. In this article, I’ll also share how I was guided by my gastroenterologist and pediatrician in navigating this once my family was exposed and became positive. As of now, miraculously, all three of our children (ages 4 and under), have tested negative and appear healthy.
Discovering I was exposed
So many emotions ran through my mind. Fear. Dread. Anger. Frustration. Disbelief. Shame. Worry. I cried lots of tears. My youngest is not quite 6 months old. Like any parent, I have tried my best to shield him from all types of illness since he entered this world. More than myself I’ve been concerned about how his little body would handle COVID. My family of five was directly exposed for 44 hours straight. We all had the same exposure and the damage had been done. What was supposed to be a time to celebrate with loved ones over the holidays turned into a nightmare real fast. It’s been a waiting game. I’ve felt a lot of emotions since my symptoms creeped up the night we returned home.
Here’s how my COVID has played out:
Friday, December 31st—headache, brain fog
Saturday, January 1—headache, runny nose, fatigue, no appetite
Sunday, January 2—headache, runny nose in the morning only, a dry cough, a little difficulty breathing, no appetite
Monday, January 3—headache, runny nose in the morning only, bad cough with phlegm coming up, congestion, hoarse voice, no appetite
Tuesday, January 4—TESTED POSITIVE (no surprise there) Runny nose like a faucet in the morning only, migraine with auras, no appetite, bad cough with phlegm coming up, hoarse voice.
Wednesday, January 5—Runny nose in the morning only, headache, hoarse voice, same cough. Smell and taste lessened. All three kids tested negative through pediatrician.
Thursday, January 6—Less congested, subtle headache, hoarse voice, same cough, no appetite, fatigue, taste, and smell gone.
Friday, January 7—Can finally breathe through my nose, subtle headache, no taste or smell, no appetite, congestion.
Saturday, January 8—headache, no taste or smell, congestion.
Sunday, January 9—FINALLY no headache, feels like a head cold, no taste or smell. My voice is back to normal, feeling a lot more like myself.
Managing Crohn’s Through COVID
As someone who has lived with IBD for more than 16 years, feeling unwell and juggling unpredictable symptoms doesn’t feel like anything new. But, knowing how to keep the focus on managing my Crohn’s while having “normal people sickness” is often challenging, especially since COVID is so unique in how it presents differently in people and comes in waves. When my gastroenterologist learned I had tested positive she offered up the monoclonal antibody infusion or a 5-day course of Pfizer’s new over the counter pill, Paxlovid. Since I was unable to get tested until day five of symptoms and since my case was mild, I chose not to do either. Personally, the thought of sitting around all the germs in a hospital (even though I’m positive for COVID) didn’t sound appealing to me. There is just so much sickness going around right now. I felt more comfortable taking the illness on myself since it was not severe and have been taking Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Zinc, and my prescription prenatal and folic acid.
One big question many of us in the community have is what to do about biologic therapies when we test positive. I am on Humira, and my next injection is due today (January 10). I was exposed to COVID two days after doing my injection. My gastroenterologist told me I would be fine to stay on schedule since my symptoms were mild and since I did not have a fever. She went on to say that if I am not having pulmonary issues (which I’m not), that I should proceed with my scheduled injection.
Luckily, my Crohn’s felt non-existent the entire time I’ve been sick with COVID. It was almost like my body was solely focused on the upper respiratory issues. Oddly enough, and this may be TMI…but I always tell people in our community nothing is TMI… today (Sunday) I experienced a burning sensation in my abdomen for about 30 minutes, felt some nausea, and had several bathroom trips. It was almost as though the COVID was leaving my body, because the last 10 days I haven’t felt anything like this and now I feel a lot better.
Mom Life with COVID
What’s really made this entire ordeal torturous for me is having to do my typical stay-at-home mom life with a 4.5-year-old, almost 3-year-old, and 5-month-old, while having COVID and Crohn’s disease. Unfortunately, even though my husband was symptomatic and positive he had to work from home, so it’s been me in the trenches, wearing a mask from 6 a.m. til the kids go to bed, and not getting a moment to rest or recuperate.
What anyone with a family and COVID can attest to is how challenging quarantine is when you can’t have your village of support help you with the little ones or get any type of childcare break. Typically, Reid goes to preschool three days a week and Sophia goes twice a week. Even though their school days are short, and I’m used to having everyone home, I’ve grown accustomed to a little bit of downtime with the baby. Between Christmas break and our quarantine, our entire family has been home since December 20th. Even through I’ve been sick and on the struggle bus, my day-to-day actions have not been able to change at all. To say I’m running on E is an understatement. Don’t beat yourself up over screen time and not being able to entertain your kids, it’s survival mode at its finest. As an IBD mom, the fatigue that comes with our illness is nothing new, the only saving grace with COVID is knowing there should be an endpoint. While long COVID exists of course, I’m not sure I’d be able to even tell the difference since I already live with chronic illness.
Breastfeeding with COVID
Ladies, I thought breastfeeding through colonoscopy prep and not eating for the days leading up was intense. This has been a whole different level of effort. To protect the baby, our pediatrician recommended my husband and I wear masks in our house. People complain about wearing a mask to get groceries. Try wearing it in your own home, morning-noon-and-night for 10 days, nursing a baby while your nose is running like a faucet, you feel unwell, and fear you’re going to pass along COVID to your small baby because you’re in such close proximity. At times I’ve felt on the brink of having an anxiety attack because the mask and my breathing made me feel like I was gasping for air while trying to feed him.
That being said, I’ve never felt more grateful or fortunate to be breastfeeding my son. It does my heart good to know he’s getting my antibodies in real-time as my body fights COVID. While breastmilk of infected mothers does not contain COVID-19, it contains antibodies against it.
I found promising articles and research about the benefits of COVID-positive moms continue to breastfeed their children:
Luckily, thus far, my baby hasn’t shown any symptoms and continues to thrive beautifully as we gear up for him turning 6 months this week. I’ve prayed hard over him daily and I’m hopeful I’m nourishing him and providing him with the best protection possible by nursing him through this pandemic.
Recommendations Moving Forward
As I write this it’s 9 pm on Sunday night. I’m much more at ease and honestly since I’ve been sick since New Year’s Eve, the entire start of 2022 has been a blur. I’m sitting on the couch, fire going, taking a deep breath, and trying to relax. Now that hindsight is 20/20 here’s what I wish I did before and what my recommendations are:
Order rapid tests proactively: Part of the reason we were exposed initially was because my loved ones could only get their hands on one test (which was negative). We made the trip home only to find out two days later that my dad had been positive the entire time. I ordered four tests on 12/30 and they just arrived yesterday. Prior to all this, my kids and I had never been tested. It’s much smarter to have tests ready to go at home so you aren’t scrambling and forced to make a judgment call that could put you in the line of fire.
Get 3-ply surgical masks for little ones: My kids have worn cloth masks up until all this, but when they return to school later this month, I plan to send them in surgical masks for added protection. I don’t expect my little ones to wear N95s. Not only are surgical masks more convenient than constantly having to wash them, if they lose their masks or misplace them in the wash, I don’t have to run around trying to find a mask that’s clean and ready to go as we are rushing out the door.
Connect with your care team when symptoms start: If you have a chronic illness and especially if you’re on heavy duty medications (like biologics) I can’t stress enough how important it is to stay in open communication with your care team so they are aware of the situation and can guide you through it. COVID is nothing to mess around with. It’s not *just a cold*, trust me. I spoke with my GI and my pediatrician almost daily this week through the patient portals.
Don’t take unnecessary risks and let your guard down: We are all exhausted from this nightmare, and I get how we all want to enjoy life and not live in fear. But one risky decision—something as simple as going out to dinner or seeing family that you miss, can end up with a great deal of sickness that you’ll quickly realize wasn’t worth it. Get vaccinated, get boosted. We’ve lost two family friends this week alone who were unvaccinated and died of COVID. It’s beyond heartbreaking.
If you lose your taste and smell like me, I’ve been told the sooner you start smell training the better: My friend recommended I order four essential oil scents off Amazon—Clove, Lemon, Eucalyptus, and Rose. They arrive to me on Wednesday. I have also been told by multiple people to eat Hot Tamales Candy and spicy, potent foods to get taste buds reactivated and to drink celery juice. Smelling perfume, cologne, garlic, dish detergent, and candles several times a day for 20-second increments is also a way to help bring it back.
Chart your symptoms each day: It’s helpful to keep track of your symptoms each day in the “Notes” section of your phone, otherwise it’s hard to remember what you’ve dealt with. It takes out the guesswork when talking with your doctors and helps you see how you’re improving or getting worse.
Disposable everything: We’ve been using plastic Red Solo Cups and writing our names on them, paper plates, paper towels, you name it. Get the germs out of your house and avoid using shared hand towels, toothpaste, etc. with those you live with.
It’s been 12 years since I apprehensively went to my GI’s office with my mom, trembling in fear about the what ifs and worrying about the pain of the injection and how my body would respond. One dozen years ago I threw caution to the wind and knew I needed to take the leap. I trusted my physician. There was no other choice. I knew I needed more to control my Crohn’s. I realized my quality of life depended on it. My present life and my future deserved more.
I wish I could tell that frightened 24-year-old girl that a biologic would enable her to fulfill her dream of working full-time in television, that she would go years between hospitalizations, that she would meet the love of her life, travel out of the country, and have two healthy children…all while on a biologic.
This week—I share my 12 tips for navigating life on a biologic and what I wish I knew 12 years ago today.
Needing medication is not a failure. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to “heal their gut” solely with food and that is ok. You are not less than because you need to be on a biologic. You are not giving up or taking the easy way out.
Side effects are unique to each person. Just because one person responded beautifully to a biologic, doesn’t mean that you will. The same goes with horrible side effects. One person’s experience has nothing to do with yours. IBD is unique in each one of us. While some people get a “Humira hangover” and are in pain leading up to their injection, others like me, deal with no side effects whatsoever. Don’t base your experience off anyone but your own and remember to consider the benefit vs. the risk.
Google is not your friend. Prior to starting a biologic or when you are on one, it does you no good to Google and read all the doomsday laundry lists of “what ifs” and horror stories. If you want to educate yourself and truly learn more, communicate with your physicians and connect with fellow IBD patients who understand your reality.
The drug fails you; you don’t fail the drug. Time and time again, I see patients say… “I failed Remicade. I failed Stelara. I failed Entyvio. I failed Humira.” You did not fail anything. This is not a blame game and how your body responds to biologics is completely out of your hands. If a drug doesn’t help limit inflammation and control disease progression, it fails you and you move on to the next.
Have a routine and be compliant. Life gets hectic and being on a biologic must become a part of your routine. It’s helpful to keep track on a calendar or to set up an alert on your phone. I’m old school and write R or L in my day planner…meaning “Right Leg” or “Left Leg”…you’d be surprised, you won’t remember which leg you last injected two weeks ago. I’ve done my Humira injections on Mondays since 2008. I’ve always liked that day of the week because it doesn’t interfere with the weekend and I get it out of the way. No one likes Mondays anyways. Biologics aren’t just something you skip or can forget like a daily multivitamin. For the drug to work you must be compliant and stay on schedule.
You can get pregnant and breastfeed while on a biologic. The most common question I receive from women with IBD is “can I get pregnant on my biologic?” and “can I breastfeed?” …the answer to both of those is a resounding YES. To safely bring a baby into this world, the mama’s health must come first. You need to be a safe haven for your baby and keep your IBD well-managed. By going off your medication, you put yourself at much greater risk for flaring while pregnant and after you deliver. I was on Humira until 39 weeks with my son and 37 weeks with my daughter. To learn more about biologics and family planning check out the IBD Parenthood Project and IBD Moms.
Communicate openly with your GI. Check trough levels every now and then, especially when you’re feeling symptomatic to see if your drug level is therapeutic, if your dose needs to be increased, or if you’ve built up antibodies and need to possibly start a different biologic.
Think about your lifestyle if you’re having trouble deciding which biologic to try. Back when I started Humira in 2008, there were only two biologics for IBD on the market: Remicade and Humira. At the time, I was a morning news anchor and did not share my Crohn’s disease with the public—so choosing to do an injection in the comfort of my home vs. being in public getting an infusion was a no-brainer. Now as a mom of two, I’m grateful for that choice. You can’t beat the convenience of being able to do a 10 second injection on your couch. I have so many friends who spend hours upon hours getting an infusion—having the stress of lining up childcare and allocating that much time and resources to get my medication would be a struggle for me. Let alone needing to get an IV…I know I’m not alone when it comes to having bad veins! I understand you need to go with what your body responds best to and what your physician recommends for treatment…but if the decision rests on your shoulders, I would absolutely choose injection over infusion.
Injections at home make chronic illness mom life a bit easier.
Consider yourself “lucky” if you’re starting Humira now. The first 10+ years I was on Humira the injection was very painful. I know of people who had to take anti-anxiety meds just to feel comfortable receiving the injection. In 2018, the Citrate-free (pain free) version was released in the United States. Click here to watch my emotional experience doing an injection with the pain-free formula for the first time, while pregnant. This has been a game-changer for everyone on Humira, young and old. Self-injecting takes some getting used to, but it’s a hell of a lot easier now that you don’t have to deal with any pain. Chalk this up as a big win for the patient community—and if you haven’t made the switch to Citrate-free yet, make sure you do now!
Drown out the Debbie Downers and the naysayers. You are going to come across friends and family who most likely have good intentions…but will question your decision to be on a biologic and offer useless, worrisome advice or stories of their friend’s friend who died from lymphoma or their boyfriend’s dad who had a bad reaction. I remember people questioning me about being on Humira when we were starting our family. We’re already worried enough, having to deal with the background noise can be the biggest pain of all.
Be inspired by the possibilities. We’re all quick to expect the worse or struggle to imagine a life that doesn’t involve daily setbacks. Think of all the good that can come of this and the quality of life the medication can afford you with. Be patient with your body. Be patient with the drug. Be patient with yourself on this journey.
Get preventative screenings. Stay on top of your appointments outside of your gastroenterologist. See your Ob-Gyn and get annual pap smears. See your dentist every six months. See a dermatologist and get an annual full body screening. Talk with your GI about getting “safety labs” every three months to keep a close eye on your results and make sure nothing is out of whack. See an eye doctor annually, even if you think you have perfect vision. Steroids can cause cataracts and IBD can cause inflammation around the eye. If your child has IBD, make sure to stay on top of pediatrician appointments. Being well-informed about all aspects of your health helps protect you from falling victim to any serious side effects.
BONUS: Reward yourself. Let’s face it. Giving yourself an injection or getting an infusion is not the most enjoyable experience. Think about how you can treat yourself when it’s over. Get some ice cream. Get a manicure. Order that cute pajama set online. Lord knows, you’ve earned it. If you struggle self-injecting, stare at a photo of a family member or friend that exudes strength and resilience, they will inspire you to be strong.
I’m not sure what the next 12 years will bring. Will Humira continue to be my go-to? Will there be a different treatment option? Only time will tell, but for now, I’m incredibly grateful that I’ve been able to stay on the same course of treatment for this long and I don’t plan on doing anything to rock the boat. My wish for you is that you’ll find a treatment that works its magic and shows you all that you’re capable of, despite your IBD.
Breastfeeding. Before I became a mom, I had no idea what a loaded word it was. So many emotions, so much controversy, so much judgement. As an IBD mom of two little ones, my journeys with my kids differed greatly. Ironically, World Breastfeeding Week wrapped up (August 1-7) and so did my breastfeeding journey with my daughter. Whether you’re a chronic illness mom or not, one of the first questions you often get asked is “are you breastfeeding?” It’s such a personal choice and decision, that really isn’t anybody’s business. Yet, men and women alike act as though it’s just casual conversation.
For many of us in the IBD community, breastfeeding is complicated. We have a lot more to consider than our milk supply coming in and a proper latch. We have to weigh the pros and cons of how our biologic drug passes through the milk, whether or not to pop a pain pill or struggle through the day so we’re able to feed our babies, along with the stress and exhaustion that comes along with the postpartum period, while navigating motherhood with chronic illness. We have to worry about what’s going to happen if we’re hospitalized and unable to feed our baby, our minds race with the what-ifs, even when we’re in “remission”.
My son, Reid, will be 2.5 in September. Before I ever became pregnant with him and up until the moment he was born, I was adamant on feeding him formula. I personally felt there were too many gray areas with the medication I am on and didn’t want to find out down the road that I put him at risk for dangerous long-term side effects. I ended up nursing the first three days in the hospital so that he could get the colostrum. Even though I was confident in my decision at that time, I sobbed when he got his first formula bottle in the hospital, because once again my Crohn’s prevented me from feeling like a “normal” person. Each time someone questioned my decision to formula feed or assumed I was breastfeeding, it pulled at my heartstrings and made me feel a bit embarrassed and less than.
My daughter, Sophia, will be seven months this week. During her pregnancy, it was like a light switch went off. I did my research and I was determined to give breastfeeding a go. I learned about how breast milk would benefit her microbiome, lower her chance of one day developing IBD, improve her immune system, and that Humira was considered safe for nursing, among other remarkable benefits. Many friends and family members offered invaluable advice and support to prepare me for what was to come once she entered the world. No matter how much I thought I was ready, it was still overwhelming and emotional.
Looking back—here’s what I wish I knew as a breastfeeding mama who has Crohn’s.
Just because it’s natural, doesn’t mean it’s easy
To go from making a formula bottle with my son to pumping and syringe feeding a newborn was a bit of a shock to our family. As you can imagine—it was all new and foreign to us. The first night home was an absolute nightmare. Sophia was cluster feeding the entire night. Didn’t sleep a wink. Her latch was off. I was bleeding. She’d only nurse on the right side. Tears were falling and I didn’t know how I was ever going to breastfeed. I felt like I was letting myself and my daughter down. The IBD piece of it all made me feel the pressure to push through. I wanted to do all I could to protect her and felt guilt for not doing the same for my son. I remember lying in bed with her on my chest that first night, my husband sleeping, and texting a bunch of fellow breastfeeding moms for advice in the middle of the night. They all responded in minutes and comforted me. Initially, I had been told not to use my breast pump the first few weeks. I ended up using my pump the first week and it was the best decision I made. If I hadn’t done that, chances are I would have never made it through that initial week without changing my mind and formula feeding. If nursing is painful or difficult, don’t hesitate to break out the pump and relieve your engorged chest. Whether a baby is nursing or receiving breast milk in a bottle, it’s all the same at the end of the day.
Introduce the bottle early on
When you live with IBD, you rely heavily on others being able to help you when you’re stuck in the bathroom or fatigued beyond belief. Some days other people are going to need to feed your baby, whether it’s a spouse or your mom. If you wait too long to introduce a bottle, you increase the likelihood of your baby refusing a bottle, which puts added pressure on you. We gave Sophia a bottle the first week home, since I needed to pump. For the past seven months she’s gone back and forth from breast to bottle beautifully. It eased up the pressure on me and helped make it easier on both of us! We still got to bond and be close, but others are able to feed her as well.
Before you take a pain pill, talk with your GI
Like many IBD moms, the fear of a postpartum flare and flaring in general weighs heavily on my heart and on my mind. I noticed symptoms start to creep up when Sophia was about two months old. I took a pain pill and reached out to my GI, only to find out I couldn’t breastfeed for the next 14 hours. At another point, I had to be put on Entocort for a week to help combat a small flare. Rather than try and be a superhero, I reached out to my GI immediately. While on the Entocort I had to pump and dump in the morning. It pained me to pour the “liquid gold” down the drain, but it’s what I needed to do to prevent a hospital visit. My kids needed mama present more than my baby needed a bottle of breast milk.
Supplementing is not failing
Whether you’re pregnant now, aspire to one day breastfeed, or if you’re in the thick of your journey, don’t make yourself feel like it’s all or nothing. For the first three months, Sophia was exclusively breastfed. Once I started introducing formula here and there, it took some of the stress off my shoulders. Was my diet providing her with the proper nutrients? Was she getting enough milk? I have my hands full with a toddler, so sitting next to a breast pump by myself with him running around isn’t all that conducive to my lifestyle. By making Sophia a flexible eater, it made breastfeeding seem like less of a struggle for me and a lot more doable for our family life.
Put your mental and emotional health first
As a mom, it’s easy to beat ourselves up about how we choose to feed our babies. There is SO much background noise. Everyone has an opinion. As a mom who has formula fed and breastfed, I’ve had the opportunity to witness both sides. I’ve witnessed a shift within myself. Saying I breastfed felt and still feels like a bit of a badge of honor. Now that I’ve done it, I’m proud, because it was such a labor of love for me. Breastfeeding was blood, sweat and tears and so much effort. While traveling to San Diego I had no choice but to pump in a public bathroom at the airport, right at the sink, while a line of women stood staring at me. I had no choice. I think back to how drained and emotional I was on Sophia’s first night home and can’t believe we made it this far on our journey.
When we took our kids to the zoo last week and I mixed a formula bottle in the food court, I felt a sense of worry—that other parents would look at me and judge my decision to feed my baby this way. Even though in my heart, I know fed is best. There are so many mind games associated with it all!
In the end, if you’re struggling mentally and emotionally, it’s going to take away from the type of mom you are. Don’t allow yourself to get so caught up in the pressure that it’s detrimental to you or your family life.
Lean on fellow IBD moms
While I was pregnant and breastfeeding I found it incredibly helpful to touch base with fellow moms, specifically IBD moms who related to my journey. Do your “homework” and don’t be shy about sending private message or sending an email to ask questions to fellow parents who are patients that you see online. We are all a resource for one another.
In my case, breastfeeding ended up being something I’m so grateful I was able to do for nearly seven months. Unfortunately, once my period started after Sophia was six months, my supply plummeted greatly. I went from making 30-35 ounces a day, to five. Prior to that happening, we had gotten into such a comfortable, easy groove, I was planning on breastfeeding her until her first birthday. My body had different plans, and I’m fine with that. Flexible feeding brought me to this mindset. Pregnancy gave me a renewed love for my body, despite my illness, and now I can say breastfeeding did the very same.
BONUS TIP! Be proactive and set yourself up for success prior to your baby’s arrival. Order your breast pump ahead of time. Have nursing tanks and bras, hands-free bras for pumping and to sleep in, pads for your bra, nipple cream, a Haakaa for catching let down milk, and storage bags. If you’re dealing with extreme nipple pain or discomfort, alert your OB and see about getting a prescription for All-Purpose Nipple Ointment (APNO). This is mixed by a pharmacist and contains an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory, and an anti-fungal. I used this and it worked wonders!
Before I start this article, I want to include a disclaimer. Breastfeeding is a very emotional and sometimes controversial topic. By no means are my words meant to make you feel guilty or ashamed if this way of feeding your baby doesn’t work for you. I’ve fed my children both ways. My son was breastfed for three days and then given formula. He is a picture of health. My daughter is 4 weeks old today and has been exclusively breastfed. I’m by no means writing this as an expert or to point any fingers. I am completely of the mindset that ‘fed is best’. No judgement here, ladies.
Through the years I’ve experienced the guilt and the worry, I’ve had to explain myself time and time again. I sat in labor and delivery classes at the hospital prior to the birth of my firstborn and felt like an outcast when I was the only one who didn’t raise my hand about planning to breastfeed. I’ve been on both sides of the ‘issue’…I write this article to share my perspective, my journey, and how my thinking has evolved as a mother. It’s a way of showing fellow IBD mamas that I understand the hesitation and all the inquiries. I get how it feels to wonder if you’re doing what is best for your baby and for yourself.
I can’t quite pinpoint when it was during my pregnancy with Sophia that I decided to try breastfeeding. I just woke up one day in the third trimester and decided it was something I wanted to experience this time around.
My son, Reid, turns two next month. During my pregnancy with him, I was adamant on not breastfeeding. I was worried about the lack of long-term studies on my biologic drug (Humira) and I was concerned about the risk of having a postpartum flare that would land me in the hospital and interrupt my ability to feed him. Being a new mom, I was worried the stress that comes along with breastfeeding could cause me to flare. I ended up breastfeeding him the first three days in the hospital, so that he could receive the colostrum. After that—he was given formula until he turned one. It’s a decision I was confident in, but that tugs at my heartstrings at times, especially now as I breastfeed his sister.
Biologics, pregnancy and breastfeeding
Since I was pregnant with Reid, I’ve done a fair amount of research. I’ve talked with fellow IBD moms, educated myself on the benefits of breastfeeding for baby and me and consulted with my care team ( ObGyn, high risk ObGyn and my GI). According to MotherToBaby, mothers who breastfeed their infants while using adalimumab (Humira) have very low levels of the drug in their breast milk. Adalimumab is not well absorbed by the gut, so any of the medication that gets into breast milk is unlikely to enter the baby’s system from the gut. Side note: MotherToBaby is a wonderful resource. I have participated in pregnancy studies for both of my pregnancies—it’s always helpful to contribute to research, share your journey, and help pave the way for future chronic illness moms so that there is more clarity for families in the future.
Like many moms who depend on biologic medication during pregnancy, that in and of itself can be stressful. I stayed on Humira for both my pregnancies—from start until finish. For Reid’s birth, I did my injection two days before my scheduled c-section at 39 weeks, 3 days. For Sophia, my last injection was at 37 weeks, 3 days. My injection was due the day of my c-section with Sophia, but a matter of days before—due to cold and flu season, my GI instructed me to wait to do my injection until I was home from the hospital. That way—the baby did not receive a burst of the immune-suppressant drug through the placenta, the day she was entering the world and I would be at lower risk of developing an infection as well. Timing your biologic medication is key and a conversation you’ll want to have with your care team so it can be tailored to your pregnancy and your personal journey.
The challenge of the journey
Breastfeeding is intense. It’s emotional. It’s rewarding. It’s exhausting and time consuming. I like to call it a labor of love. There are so many expectations, opinions and judgements that come along with the way we decide to feed our children. Until you experience breastfeeding, it’s hard to truly appreciate all the blood, sweat and tears (literally) that goes into it. Today marks four weeks I’ve been breastfeeding my daughter. For me—each week that goes by is a huge accomplishment.
I pump mostly—and put the milk in bottles. That way—anybody can feed the baby, especially if I’m feeling fatigued or if my Crohn’s is acting up. I wanted to introduce a bottle early on, just in case I were to be hospitalized with a postpartum flare. Sophia had her first bottle at six days old and has done a great job and has not had any “nipple confusion” when I nurse her.
It can be a bit overwhelming when you are the sole food source for another living being, especially when Crohn’s symptoms strike, and you feel like you may need to make a mad dash to the bathroom.
In my research, I learned that people with IBD were often not breastfed as infants and that breastfed babies develop healthy bacteria in their digestive tract. Those healthy bacteria can be beneficial in helping the body’s immune system fend off many different diseases. It’s my hope that breastfeeding will help create a healthy gut and microbiome for my daughter.
When it comes to breastfeeding as IBD moms, whether a child is going to latch or if our milk supply is going to be sufficient, tends to be the least of our worries. Our chronic health condition, plus the medications so many of us are dependent on to treat them—adds another layer of stress. In the end, you need to do what you feel comfortable with, what works for your body and for your family. Always know you are not alone in your struggles. Celebrate the parenting wins and accomplishments along the way—no matter how big or small. Lean on your support system—especially fellow breastfeeding mamas who can answer your questions and calm your fears. I can’t tell you how long I’ll continue my breastfeeding journey. For now—all I can do is take it one day at a time. What I can tell you—is how rewarding it is to see what my body is capable of, despite my disease and how amazing it feels to know I’m nourishing my little girl and providing her with a healthy start.
Helpful Resources:
IBD Parenthood Project: A one-stop-shop for everything you need to know leading up to conceiving, pregnancy and motherhood.
I recently connected with a fellow IBD patient on Twitter named Jessica Pérez-Cámara. Aside from both of us battling Crohn’s disease and both of us taking Humira, we’re also both journalists. This week—Jessica shares an emotional piece about what it was like to take on inflammatory bowel disease, amidst a natural catastrophe, mid-flare. I’ll let her take it away.
Life with IBD is hard enough. Try having a flare during the worst natural disaster in the history of your country. It happened to me. I survived.
On September 20, 2017, Category 4 Hurricane Maria made landfall in Puerto Rico, causing a humanitarian crisis. Maria left nearly 95 percent of the island without communications, water, electricity and with limited medical access.
Many of the 3.4 million U.S. citizens living on the island had restricted access to resources like food, fuel, among many other essential needs. No communication, no cell phones, no internet. Nothing. I am a journalist who, at the time of the storm, was working as a communications assistant in the local Government. My job was to share news to the public before and after the hurricane. My country ended up getting hit with two hurricanes, and my beloved grandmother passed away a few weeks earlier. She died the day before Hurricane Irma. It was all such a whirlwind, as the stress mounted, so did my flare.
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in August 2015, even though I’ve lived with IBD for more than three years, I’m still learning to navigate my illness. Upon my diagnosis, I was put on Asacol and Budesonide. I had been fearful of going on a biologic and did all I could to avoid them. But, deep down I knew the moment would one day come.
Nonstop work after Hurricane Maria
I worked nonstop for months on the initial hurricane recovery efforts. As I took on this responsibility, I was flaring badly. Many hospitals were not working full capacity, running on generators and with shortages of basic medications like IV bags.
I was feeling terrible, exhausted, the fatigue and diarrhea were worsening, but I kept working through the pain. I was putting my duty for my country before my health. I was working long hours and when I got home, it did not get any easier, because life was not the same. Basic things like food, water, fuel for the generators, gas for the cars and even having a good meal or taking a shower were more difficult. My body ached from head to toe. The food was scarce and what was available was mostly junk food, fried food and canned food.
One morning I decided to stop in my GI’s office. He had lost the A/C unit and the office was flooded during the storm. He ordered some labs, an emergency colonoscopy and a few days of rest. I was anxious, exhausted, scared. After the colonoscopy, I was prescribed prednisone for a month and then started Humira.
Humira without electricity at home
I began using Humira in November 2017. My initial four loading dose shots were at my parent’s house, because they had two power generators and could have the refrigerator running 24/7. They kept my Humira for the rest of the blackout for us, which lasted 114 days.
It’s now a year later. I am back to normalcy – to my new normal- of giving myself painful shots. I’m in the process of receiving the Citrate-free (pain free) Humira and I can hardly wait! Unfortunately, I deal with some side effects from the medication (general body aches and joint pain, fatigue and weakness). That being said, the minor side effects I deal with are manageable and worth it to keep my disease under control.
An important conversation about chronic illness
As a Crohn’s patient and as a Puerto Rican, I hope my experience sheds light on what it’s like for those in the chronic illness community as they endure the repercussions of natural disasters. It’s a critical conversation that needs to happen—preparedness for the IBD community in the face of weather disasters. How can employers, government and society step up to the plate?
One year ago, I began walking the path of the Hurricane to the path of remission. I look forward with a sense of hope for the future both as a person and as a patient.
There’s never a good time to receive a diagnosis of inflammatory bowel disease. The earth shattering news tends to flip your world upside down. For 27-year-old Alyssa Alda Clements of New Jersey, her Crohn’s disease diagnosis could not have come at a worse time. Alyssa was in her first year of medical school and had recently lost three family members.
“The hardest part about my diagnosis was the time I spent in the hospital or being homebound, because it took me away from my schooling. Having to take medical leaves from my DREAM was so heart breaking. I had wanted to be a doctor since I was three. In time, I started to feel better when we got things under control and was able to go back to medical school and, knock on wood, I am still hanging in here,” Alyssa says.
Being sick never made her want to quit, if anything it made her realize how much we need doctors, especially ones who care. Alyssa says her patient perspective provides her with insight when it comes to the type of doctor she wants to be and the type of care she aspires to provide day in and day out to those who depend on her.
“My first trip to the ER nearly killed me because the doctor didn’t believe my pain, told me it was in my head and that I was a crazy medical student, and didn’t even touch or listen to my abdomen. It turned out to be an obstruction and thankfully I listened to my gut and went to a different ER the next day,” Alyssa recalls.
Fast forward a week later, Alyssa woke up from her first colonoscopy to learn she has severe Crohn’s disease in her large intestine, small intestine and rectum. The GI spoke candidly and said her odds of ever becoming a doctor were slim, due to her health. But, Alyssa didn’t let the naysayers stop her from following her dreams.
Becoming a doctor while living with Crohn’s
As many know, working in the medical field is not for the faint of heart. The profession entails a great deal of stress, both physically and mentally. Not only are the hours long, but you are exposed to a ton of people who are sick, while you are immunocompromised.
“I have learned so much about empathy and sympathy as a patient, the way some physicians made me feel pushed me to continue in medical school and be a better caregiver than they were to me at my worst moments. I have learned to listen to the patient because I have been ignored. I know just what being a patient feels like, how scary, uncomfortable, painful, that being sick can be, and I want to be there for others who are in that position. When I finally found my amazing care team that I have now, I became hopeful that I could be that person for someone someday,” Alyssa says.
As far as advice for fellow IBD’ers, Alyssa says be honest with yourself and what you can handle. Don’t let your disease limit you, but also know that it’s ok to be kind to your body and slow down when you need to. Alyssa says she’s modified her life so that she’s able to handle medical school and keep her well-being in mind at the same time. She relies heavily on the support of her family and boyfriend and makes self-care a part of her daily life.
Big city, bright lights
Alyssa was recently featured by People Magazine, that’s how her and I connected on Twitter! I saw her inspiring story and immediately wanted to share it with you. She went to New York City and was interviewed as a woman who is overcoming chronic illness. Talk about a great person to represent those of us in the thick of fighting this disease.
Her attitude is admirable, “I want to show anyone that they can be strong and resilient and still achieve their dreams after a diagnosis. I want to show young women and girls with illnesses that they are still beautiful, that their bodies might be constantly changing, but they are still themselves, they are still amazing.”
Bouncing back from difficult days
In her first year of diagnosis, Alyssa was in and out of the hospital. She endured more than 12 bowel obstructions, a PICC line, NG tube and tests galore. While at Disney World that November, Alyssa fell to the floor of her hotel room. She came to find out she had multiple abscesses and fistulas. After four weeks of total bowel rest, she had an ileocecectomy. A total of 13 inches of her intestine was removed. In her eyes, the surgery saved her life. Alyssa has been on Humira for almost five years. She says the new citrate free formula has changed her life (and I must agree!!)
“Days can be hard, filled with pain, fatigue, never ending symptoms, but always know that you are not alone. There is an army of us fighting diseases you can’t see.” You got that right, Alyssa!
Whether you’re a chronic illness mom or not, one of the first questions you often get asked is “are you breastfeeding?” It’s such a personal choice and decision, that really isn’t anybody’s business. Yet, men and women alike act as though it’s just casual conversation.
Before I ever became pregnant with him and up until the moment he was born, I was adamant on feeding him formula. I personally felt there were too many gray areas with the medication I am on and didn’t want to find out down the road that I put him at risk for dangerous long-term side effects. I ended up nursing the first three days in the hospital so that he could get the colostrum. Even though I was confident in my decision at that time, I sobbed when he got his first formula bottle in the hospital, because once again my Crohn’s prevented me from feeling like a “normal” person. Each time someone questioned my decision to formula feed or assumed I was breastfeeding, it pulled at my heartstrings and made me feel a bit embarrassed and less than.
I learned about how breast milk would benefit her microbiome, lower her chance of one day developing IBD, improve her immune system, and that Humira was considered safe for nursing, among other remarkable benefits. Many friends and family members offered invaluable advice and support to prepare me for what was to come once she entered the world. No matter how much I thought I was ready, it was still overwhelming and emotional.
I wanted to do all I could to protect her and felt guilt for not doing the same for my son. I remember lying in bed with her on my chest that first night, my husband sleeping, and texting a bunch of fellow breastfeeding moms for advice in the middle of the night. They all responded in minutes and comforted me. Initially, I had been told not to use my breast pump the first few weeks. I ended up using my pump the first week and it was the best decision I made. If I hadn’t done that, chances are I would have never made it through that initial week without changing my mind and formula feeding. If nursing is painful or difficult, don’t hesitate to break out the pump and relieve your engorged chest. Whether a baby is nursing or receiving breast milk in a bottle, it’s all the same at the end of the day.
We gave Sophia a bottle the first week home, since I needed to pump. For the past seven months she’s gone back and forth from breast to bottle beautifully. It eased up the pressure on me and helped make it easier on both of us! We still got to bond and be close, but others are able to feed her as well.
As a mom, it’s easy to beat ourselves up about how we choose to feed our babies. There is SO much background noise. Everyone has an opinion. As a mom who has formula fed and breastfed, I’ve had the opportunity to witness both sides. I’ve witnessed a shift within myself. Saying I breastfed felt and still feels like a bit of a badge of honor. Now that I’ve done it, I’m proud, because it was such a labor of love for me. Breastfeeding was blood, sweat and tears and so much effort. While traveling to San Diego I had no choice but to pump in a public bathroom at the airport, right at the sink, while a line of women stood staring at me. I had no choice. I think back to how drained and emotional I was on Sophia’s first night home and can’t believe we made it this far on our journey.
My daughter is 4 weeks old today and has been exclusively breastfed. I’m by no means writing this as an expert or to point any fingers. I am completely of the mindset that ‘fed is best’. No judgement here, ladies. 
I was worried about the lack of long-term studies on my biologic drug (Humira) and I was concerned about the risk of having a postpartum flare that would land me in the hospital and interrupt my ability to feed him. Being a new mom, I was worried the stress that comes along with breastfeeding could cause me to flare. I ended up breastfeeding him the first three days in the hospital, so that he could receive the colostrum. After that—he was given formula until he turned one. It’s a decision I was confident in, but that tugs at my heartstrings at times, especially now as I breastfeed his sister.
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That way—the baby did not receive a burst of the immune-suppressant drug through the placenta, the day she was entering the world and I would be at lower risk of developing an infection as well. Timing your biologic medication is key and a conversation you’ll want to have with your care team so it can be tailored to your pregnancy and your personal journey.
When it comes to breastfeeding as IBD moms, whether a child is going to latch or if our milk supply is going to be sufficient, tends to be the least of our worries. Our chronic health condition, plus the medications so many of us are dependent on to treat them—adds another layer of stress. In the end, you need to do what you feel comfortable with, what works for your body and for your family. Always know you are not alone in your struggles. Celebrate the parenting wins and accomplishments along the way—no matter how big or small. Lean on your support system—especially fellow breastfeeding mamas who can answer your questions and calm your fears. I can’t tell you how long I’ll continue my breastfeeding journey. For now—all I can do is take it one day at a time. What I can tell you—is how rewarding it is to see what my body is capable of, despite my disease and how amazing it feels to know I’m nourishing my little girl and providing her with a healthy start.
Try having a flare during the worst natural disaster in the history of your country. It happened to me. I survived.
One morning I decided to stop in my GI’s office. He had lost the A/C unit and the office was flooded during the storm. He ordered some labs, an emergency colonoscopy and a few days of rest. I was anxious, exhausted, scared. After the colonoscopy, I was prescribed prednisone for a month and then started Humira.
I hope my experience sheds light on what it’s like for those in the chronic illness community as they endure the repercussions of natural disasters. It’s a critical conversation that needs to happen—preparedness for the IBD community in the face of weather disasters. How can employers, government and society step up to the plate?
The profession entails a great deal of stress, both physically and mentally. Not only are the hours long, but you are exposed to a ton of people who are sick, while you are immunocompromised.
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