“My Silly Illy”: Ostomate, turned published author, helps children and families cope

When Campbell Dwyer was three years old, her health took a turn for the worse. She was diagnosed with Hirschsprung disease, a rare congenital disease that affects the colon and intestinal motility. She underwent three surgeries by the time she was four.

Her life began with two colostomies before she transitioned to a permanent ileostomy in her thirties. After her 10th surgery, she joined several online support groups geared for those with ostomies. To her surprise, she discovered there were many children who had ostomies.

After doing research, Campbell was shocked about the lack of literary support for children coping and coming to terms with ostomy life. She decided to change that by creating a book series called “My Silly Illy”.

“I want children to understand having an ostomy does not define them. It is simply a piece of them that contributes to their individuality. My hope is that this book will help teach inclusion and acceptance.”

Her thought-provoking, heartwarming, and humorous story aims to help children understand what is happening with their bodies and how to thrive with their new appendage.

The only constant in life is change

Throughout her lifetime of coping with Hirschsprung disease, overcoming numerous surgeries, and transitioning from a state of merely existing to living. Campbell says she welcomed each high and low as part of her transformation.

“Making the decision to write this book series has been my greatest personal success yet. I have confidence that my personal battles with an invisible disease and life with an ostomy will encourage and motivate those younger than me and promote strength to their families. I can finally see that nearly forty years ago, my future was being purposefully designed to make a difference in the world.”

Bringing My Silly Illy to life

Talented illustrator, Ana-Maria Cosma, took Campbell’s vision, thoughts, and scribbles, and brought them to life with the hope of creating a life-changing and eye-opening literary experience for many.

“My vision for this book is that the ostomy will be portrayed to each child as their personal superhero. The last page of the book has a faceless child, this is by design. The child can draw their face, or the loved one can cut out a picture and place it on the spot. There are also fun hairstyles that can be cut out. I want children to see themselves in each page of this book; to see themselves enjoying their favorite foods, traveling, and playing.”

Gearing up for a hospital tours

In the months ahead, Campbell plans to visit children’s hospitals around the United States, as well as bookstores. She’ll be hosting book readings, signings, and round table discussions with families and children coming to terms with ostomy life. Her goal is to champion pediatric ostomy patients and help their loved ones and parents understand what the child may not be able to communicate.

You can order “My Silly Illy” in the following places:

The Barnes & Noble website

Amazon

Target

Walmart

…and several independent book shops (you can do a Google search to get your hands on a copy at a specific location).

Campbell is extremely grateful to her publisher, Gen Z. Publishing for believing in the story concept, supporting her dreams, and making them a reality.

You can connect with Campbell Dwyer on Instagram: @mysillyilly

Facebook: My Silly Illy

Email: sillyillybycampbell@gmail.com

Phone: 704-369-6126

“So, You Have an Ostomy”: Recommendations for Dating, Intimacy, Naming Your Stoma, and Dressing—Part 3

Dating with IBD can be daunting. Add an ostomy to the mix and that stress is amplified ten-fold. In Part 3 of “So, You Have An Ostomy” hear from several ostomates about navigating relationships, intimacy, discovering what clothing and undergarments work best, and why some choose to name their stoma and others don’t.

Before we get started, here are links to:

Part 1: Coping with the Complexity

Part 2: Tips for Travel, Diet, and Bag Changes

Dating and finding the one with an ostomy

Brian Greenburg, 37, of New York was diagnosed with Crohn’s at age 11. He has a permanent ostomy and “Ken Butt”. As a married man, he reflects on what it was like to be part of the dating scene.

“The best piece of advice I was given about dating is that my ostomy won’t keep me from meeting the “right one”, it will keep me from trying to be with the “wrong one”.

Read that again. It’s powerful and so, so true for anyone with a chronic illness. Brian advises it’s best to talk confidently about your ostomy and not to shy away from communicating with your partner.

London Harrah, 29, of California, was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis two years ago. From the get-go, his gastroenterologist told him there was a possibility he was going to need an ostomy. At first, London was completely against the idea. His disease didn’t give him any other choice and he ended up with an ileostomy.

“I was having 20 bowel movements a day and throwing up at least one time a day and I was losing a lot of blood. I mentally and physically got to the point where I could not take it anymore and after countless visits to the doctor and attempts at different medicines, I told them that I wanted to proceed with the surgery. I had basically given up on any and all expectations on what I wanted my life to be and had accepted that I just needed to feel better.”

London recalls making his first post about his ileostomy on social media and expecting that no women would be interested in him because of it. He was single when he had the surgery and had accepted he was going to be alone the rest of his life.

“Over time I gained more and more confidence and ended up testing the waters with talking to women. I soon was able to figure out that, if anything, having this surgery just assisted me in weeding out the bad apples. There are a lot of people out there who see beyond the surface of someone and will accept you for the person you are.”

London is currently in a new relationship and just got past the peak of explaining everything about his ileostomy in detail with his girlfriend. He says he feels a lot better knowing she accepts him completely.

Jordan Ditty says she was worried going into surgery not how it would impact her marriage, but moreso that her ostomy not only affects her life, but her husband’s as well.

“Going through surgery, seeing my stoma, sharing the frustrations and wins, naming my stoma together…it all brought us closer. If you ask my husband, he will tell you it did not impact him at all, he was happy that I was no longer in pain and we were able to live.”

As far as intimacy goes, Jordan says she was nervous, but that her ostomy did not affect a single thing.

“I personally always empty right before we do anything then just fold it up, so it is not flapping around between us. There are also many options out today for ostomies, crotchless lingerie that keeps your bag in place if you don’t want your partner seeing it, high waisted options, belts, etc. Find what makes you comfortable, just remember you are still you, beautiful as ever because you are finally healthy!”

Andrew Battifarano is a 26-year-old in New York, as far at the dating scene in the Big Apple, he says he’s usually open about his ostomy and finds it’s beneficial for both sides. Andrew says most people are super accepting and appreciate his honesty.

“There are those who are grossed out and don’t want to deal with someone who has an ostomy. It’s good to know who wants to be in your life and will accept you no matter what early in the process rather than later. I think everyone has their own methods, but I stand by being forthright early on so you can tell a potential partner what it is and hopefully educate them a little bit.”

Payge Duerre met her boyfriend after she had an ostomy. She says he saw her bag in a photo on her Tinder profile and stalked her ostomy Instagram before they met in person.

“He had actually said that my ostomy was a small part of what drew him to me, he could only imagine how I was living, and he wanted to take care of me like no one else did. It did not impact being intimate at all. We both think scars are more beautiful than untouched skin. And it has helped my intimacy. Not having that pain and sickness wearing me down all the time, or not worrying about using the bathroom in the middle of being sexy has helped me.”

Richard Harris, 39, of the United Kingdom was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis when he was 23. He says his girlfriend at the time of diagnosis and his first surgery is now his wife and the mother of their two boys.

“We’ve really been through it all together. She visited me in hospital when I was sick and had lost more than 3 stone (40-plus pounds!), so I think she saw it as a life or death thing too. Post-surgical recovery, intimacy took a while, but we got there in the end. The Coloplast Senusra Mio has a handy fold up feature with some Velcro to tuck the bag away which I tend to do.”

Tim Albert’s girlfriend has been by his side through it all, too.

“Initially I was concerned she wouldn’t want to deal with the struggles an ostomy brings, but she has proven time and time again that she has my back with this. For me, it wasn’t easy to be intimate, simply because I didn’t have the core strength. I physically couldn’t perform like my old self, and that was a tough pill to swallow. With time, I got stronger and that aspect of our relationship became fun again.”

Lindsay Dickerson says her ostomy did not impact her husband at all.

“He assured me multiple times that I am just as attractive, and it does not take away his sexual drive for me (just being blunt). However, as confident as I was with showing my bag off for others everywhere else, the bedroom was a different story. Finding lingerie that is “accessible” to your significant other but covers up the bag has helped me with confidence. Switching brands helped also – Hollister was super loud, and you always heard it during sexy time. The Coloplast Mio makes no noise.”

Byrd Vihlen says her husband is very information oriented and learned the ostomy terms before she did from reading an informational packet provided by the hospital.

“He helped me empty my bag, with no hesitation, for several days after surgery when I was unable do it. It was truly a sign of unconditional love. If your significant other cannot accept that you need an ostomy bag, their love is conditional.”

To name a stoma or not to name a stoma

Of all the ostomates I spoke with—it was a mixed bag (no pun intended!) when it came to those who choose or chose to name their stoma and those who do not. Each person’s reasoning and explanation made a lot of sense.  

Tina Aswani Omprakash said her husband named her stoma “Snuffleupagus” in the hospital after surgery since it resembled the snout of the Sesame Street character. She also calls him “Bebu” which is a loving term that means “baby” in Hindi.

Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford’s experience is unique in that she has gone back and forth through her journey.

“I did not name my first one. I named my second one because I read it could help with acceptance of it. It DID make it easier to talk about to people. I do still consider my current stoma to have the same name, but I don’t often refer to it by name anymore. I usually just say “my stoma” because I felt like referring to it by name almost made me think of it like a sperate entity, when it’s not. Porta didn’t shit in the shower – I shit in the shower! Porta is not farting – I am farting. You get the idea.”

Jordan Ditty and her husband named her stoma “Norman”.

“We call him Norman when he is being difficult and Norm when he is being good. I thought it was silly at first to name him, but after a few weeks of being home with it, we came up with a name. It normalized it, made it easy to throw into a conversation, my friends and family all refer to my stoma as Norman.”

For those who haven’t chosen to name their stoma, the consensus was that it’s “just a part of them and not separate.”

Clothing preferences

  • Ostomy Secrets Underwear for Men—supportive and comfortable
  • Ostomy Secrets Wraps for Women—helps keep everything secure
  • High waisted tights, leggings, skirts, dresses, and jeans
  • American Eagle jeans
  • KanCan pants—with their stretch to allow the bag to grow
  • Vanilla Blush Hernia Support Vest for strength exercises
  • LuLu Commission Pants (for Men)
  • Aerie leggings and underwear for security and flexibility with an ostomy
Gaylyn Henderson modeling for Aerie as a proud ostomate.

Natasha Weinstein recommends discussing ostomy accessories with your care team.

“Would you do better with an ostomy belt? Are you active? Do you like to run, hike, bike, swim? You can still do these things! I am a runner and started running because of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation’s Team Challenge program and continued running despite my Crohn’s. Having an ostomy has made it easier for me to run since I am less worried about when I’ll need a bathroom next. Like more extreme sports? On my 27th birthday Ziggy stoma (yes I named mine and I recommend you do too – it helps with acceptance and I have all my friends referring to him as Ziggy), well Ziggy and I jumped out of an airplane! IT WAS A BLAST! What I promise is you can truly do anything you set your mind to, and your new ostomy will be along for the ride.”

Stay tuned Wednesday (September 30) for the final piece in the Lights, Camera, Crohn’s “So, You Have An Ostomy” series. A look at the perspective gained, advice for caretakers and family members, and incredible stories of ostomate perseverance that are sure to inspire.

Navigating IBD from age 12 to 22: How Emily landed her dream job at Disney

Navigating inflammatory bowel disease as a pediatric patient brings on additional stresses, concerns and worries. For 22-year-old Emily Gavol, this was the case. At 12 years old, she was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. EMILY2This week, a look into her life and how she took on the disease as a preteen, went to college out of state and landed her dream job in California with Walt Disney, after growing up in Wisconsin. My hope is that Emily’s story of perseverance, brings comfort to parents and fellow children and teens experiencing IBD as their life story unfolds.

What was it like to be diagnosed with Crohn’s disease when you were in seventh grade?

Initially it was a relief to know that there was finally an answer as to why I had been so sick for months. But it was also difficult to hear that I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that I had never heard of before. Being so young I didn’t really full grasp the severity of being diagnosed with a chronic illness.

How do you think the disease impacted your childhood and your perspective on life?

Getting diagnosed so young forced me to grow up very quickly. I had to learn to manage my symptoms while still attending school, doing homework and other normal activities. My perspective on life also changed, it became clear to me that health is something to never take for granted and appreciate it while you have it. Along with realizing quickly that the little things in life are not important. While most of my friends were worried about what to wear to school, I was just hoping I would feel well enough to make it to school. Additionally, this disease has taught me that there are many things that are out of our control and you just have roll with it sometimes.

How did your family and friends handle your diagnosis and how have they been there for you throughout your patient journey?

My family and friends were always there for me to lean on during my diagnosis and have been ever since. EMILY3While I know that my parents were scared, confused and upset that I was going through this, they never let that show to me. They were and always have been the ones that lift me up when I am down, and never fail to stay by my side through all I have endured.

How did it feel to “fail” so many biologics?

Over my nearly 10 years with Crohn’s disease, I have struggled to find a medication that works for a continued period of time. When I first failed Remicade, it was frustrating because I had been getting better, then backtracked to experiencing more symptoms again. That frustration has continued and morphed into annoyance, as I have continued to fail more biologics. It is frustrating to feel like all these medications are being thrown at me to knock down this disease and nothing seems to work.

What inspired you to leave home and attend college in Minnesota, despite your illness?

Since I was nine years old, I knew that I wanted to become an Imagineer with the Walt Disney Company and work as an Interior Designer. As I got older, I knew I needed to attend a good school that would set me up for success. I researched the best programs in my area, and the University of Minnesota was the best fit for me.  Their program and campus seemed to be everything I was looking for, so I wasn’t going to let my Crohn’s disease stop me from trying to achieve my dream.

What’s it like to attend college away from home, while battling a chronic disease? What roadblocks/hard times did you face?

Attending a school so far from home without a doubt was a big challenge. EMILY4And there were times when I wished I would have decided to go to school closer to home, because that would have been easier. The biggest roadblock was the physical distance, because it meant a lot of back and forth travel. Especially, during flare ups. I found myself needing to make the 4-hour drive home more often than I wanted to, which resulted in the need to miss more classes.  Additionally, learning to manage my symptoms completely on my own and having to adequately communicate with my medical team from so far away, was challenging at first.

How do you overcome the setbacks that come your way and not allow them to de-rail your goals and plans?

I have always been a very determined and strong headed individual. I will always do my best to achieve my goals and not let anything stand in my way. Despite, all the setbacks my disease has thrown my way, I have just rolled with the punches and kept pushing forward. I do my best and my best is all I can do.

Talk about what it was like going through the ileostomy and knowing you are getting a permanent ileostomy? How do you feel about it–why kind of emotions does it bring?

Going through my transition of getting an ileostomy was the most difficult thing I have gone through as a result of my Crohn’s disease. 20171123_182143002_1534121126326My health took a drastic turn and it became clear that I would need an ostomy sooner rather than later. I initially was very scared and upset that this was happening. I didn’t know what an ostomy was or anyone that had one, so I had little idea of what to expect going into it. By the time I was a couple weeks away from surgery, I was honestly ready to have it done.  I had been experiencing more symptoms and was ready to have the surgery behind me and be feeling better. I was doing my best to go into things with a positive outlook and think about it as a fresh start, but this was no easy task for me. It was an overwhelming and emotional couple of weeks following the surgery getting used to having and caring for an ostomy. I am not afraid to admit that I was scared to look at it and care for it myself after my surgery. But then I realized, this isn’t going to go away anytime soon, so I had to start doing things myself. The more familiar I became with everything, the more comfortable I was and began to realize that I was actually feeling better than before the surgery. This was hard for me to admit to myself, because I didn’t want to be put in the situation of having an ostomy or needing one for the rest of my life.  While I am now on the road to needing a permanent ostomy, it still has not sunk in that it will actually happen yet. And I don’t think it is going to fully sink in until that surgery happens.

You landed your dream job post college. Speak to what it’s like to live across the country, away from family and friends–while living out your dream job…with Crohn’s.

I am literally living out my biggest dream. EMILY5This is something that I never thought I would get to experience, and I think having Crohn’s has made me appreciate this opportunity more than I could ever imagine. The last year has been a wild roller coaster ride. I am just thankful to be here, because there were many times where I didn’t think I would even be able to graduate last year. My family and friends have been very supportive because they know how much this opportunity means for me personally and professionally. It is hard to be this far away from my main support system, but they are always just a text or phone call away. Additionally, my providers were very encouraging to me, pushing me to continue to live my life to the fullest and not let my disease slow me down. Hearing them say that to me, was really the last push that I needed to make this a reality. Knowing that my medical team wanted what was best for me, and was willing to work with me to get me where I am today, helped give me the confidence that I could do this.

Do your coworkers/did your college roommates know about your Crohn’s? How are people towards you when they hear?

In college I deliberately chose to live on my own with no roommates in order to give myself the best environment to thrive in.  Over the past few years of having different jobs, I have told my coworkers about my Crohn’s disease. I don’t usually share it right away, because I want people to get to know me for me and not just my disease.  When the time feels right, I do tell people about my Crohn’s disease. After I tell people about my Crohn’s, I always feel like a weight is lifted off me. Once people know my story, they have been as sympathetic as they can be.  There always seems to be the range of people who know a friend that has it, to the people that have never heard of it before. For those who have never heard of it before, it is a good opportunity to teach them about it.

What are your hopes for the future?

My biggest hope for the future is an easy one, a cure for this disease.  Aside from that, I hope I can continue to live my life and do my best to not let my disease stand in the way.

Advice for newly diagnosed patients?

My advice for newly diagnosed patients would be to find a good provider that you trust.  20130923_135906001_1534122952628It is important to trust their advice and recommendations, as scary as they can be sometimes. Additionally, try your best to not dwell on the negative things that are currently happening and think about what your future can hold. Always do your best to roll with the punches and keep moving forward, your best is all you can do.

What would you tell yourself at 12 years old…looking back at what you know now?

I would go back and tell myself that this is only the beginning.  Life will be a never-ending roller coaster of ups and downs. Some of the downs will really take it out of you and knock you so far down you won’t think you will be able to find a way back up.  And the some of the ups will be achievements you never thought were obtainable. But things will get better and there is always something better to look forward to right around the corner.