Two years ago today, I married the love of my life. The man who has been by my side through multiple hospitalizations, flare-ups, surgery and day-to-day management of my Crohn’s disease. Prior to walking down the aisle, we shared vows during our “first look.” Here are a few lines from my vows:
“You’re an incredible partner—you’re my rock when I’m sick and you know how to lift my spirits when I’m down. You have a way of easing my worries and bringing me clarity when I’m uncertain. Each day spent with you—is an extraordinary blessing. I feel so incredibly lucky that God brought us together and chose you to be the one person among millions who lights up my soul.”
When you battle inflammatory bowel disease, it’s a big part of your relationships. As a family, Bobby and I focus on one another, our son and managing my disease. It’s a team effort. It’s comforting to know that when I’m not feeling well or going through a difficult part of my disease journey, that I can lean on my husband for strength and support. Just this week, I was struggling with symptoms. Countless bathroom breaks. Relentless gnawing cramps that bothered me for hours. My husband always checks in on me—lightly knocking on the bathroom door to make sure I’m ok. Texting me while I’m stuck in there, bringing a smile to my face with funny emoji’s and sweet talk.
It’s the little things. The day-to-day management that many do not see and that can be easy to take for granted. Our caretakers, our main sources of support and comfort do so much—effortlessly. At times, living with a chronic illness and being the one who doesn’t feel well, can bring about guilt. It also brings out the best in us. When I’m vulnerable and need a boost, I see my husband rise up to the challenge, time and time again. I’m constantly reminded I chose to live my life alongside someone who has more compassion in their heart than I knew imaginable.
Tonight, I’ll give myself a Humira injection. Tonight, my husband will stand in front of me like he always does, cheering me on and holding onto our son, so I have a focal point of inspiration. Each injection, as I stare intently at my guys, I tell myself I need to be strong for them. I tell myself I need to do all I can to stay healthy and out of the hospital. I tell myself anything is possible with them by my side.
So, as we celebrate two years of marriage and nearly five years together, I reflect on how far we’ve come as a couple, as a family and how our love has grown as a result of my illness.
Oftentimes it’s life’s hurdles that provide the greatest perspective, the strongest insight, and the clarity that you’re exactly where you need to be in this life and that your disease is a part of you, but you are so much more. IBD does not need to rob you of love. It does not need to prevent you from getting married. And it certainly does not need to stop you from finding your fairy tale ending.