When something traumatic happens—like the mass shooting in Uvalde that left 19 children and two adults dead last week, the stress, sadness, and overwhelming grief can cause IBD to spiral out of control. You are not alone if the heavy nature of what’s happening in the world causes your mind to race and your GI symptoms to be amplified. As May (Maternal Mental Health month) comes to an end, a look at how we can best navigate these emotions and how our thoughts impact the gut-brain connection.
Looming threat of flares and violence
With the constant news cycle that bombards us, added into our reliance on social media, and seeing everyone’s opinions and posts, it’s the perfect storm for feeling suffocated by sadness. Life with IBD, whether you are in remission or not, is living with the looming thought of when your next flare or hospitalization is going to be. You know in your heart of hearts that it’s not a matter of if, but when your IBD is going to rear its ugly head. These days with violence happening left and right, it’s a challenge not to wonder and worry when you’re out in public if you’re going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time or if your children are in harm’s way.
The anxiety of worrying about the “what if” and the pain of grieving can often correlate to actual physical pain in our bodies that are already fighting an uphill battle. It’s difficult to try and make sense of what’s going on in the world. It’s impossible to try and wrap your brain around how people can be so evil. As a mom, I found myself crying putting each of my kids to sleep last week. Snuggling them a little longer. Worrying about their wellbeing and praying as hard as I could over them.
As a former news anchor and journalist, I vividly recall the moment the news of Sandy Hook broke. I was standing in the newsroom, about to head out to the studio to anchor the Midday show, when the heartbreaking news came over the newsfeed. It was incomprehensible then and it’s even worse now as a mom of three. I have only been able to watch the news in short snippets right now because I felt like the sadness of it all was consuming me in an unhealthy way. There’s a guilt that comes with trying to tune out the coverage and feeling like you’re not giving the reality of other peoples’ heartbreak the attention it deserves, while trying to protect your own mental state and heart.
Dr. Lindsay Hallett (Zimmerman), PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in Indiana. Here is her advice for coping:
- Give yourself half the grace you give to others. This can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and stress level.
- Reach out. If connection feels like what you truly need, enlist a friend or relative. The higher the level of personal connection, the better- seeing a friend is preferable to FaceTime, a phone call is preferable to texting, etc. But also, any connection is better than none.
- Make time to move. Time is a premium to everyone and even 15 minutes will do. Listen to your body and give it what it needs – stretching, a walk, an intense workout, gardening… any kind of movement that respects your body’s own capabilities.
- Give yourself permission to check out. If everything feels to be “too much,” avoidance can be healthy. Communicate healthy boundaries with others that you can’t talk about topic XYZ right now.
- Seek therapy. Your emotional house doesn’t have to be “on fire” to benefit. Ask your primary care doctor, contact your insurance company, or research PsychologyToday.com to find a therapist. In-person with occasional virtual supplementation is best, but online therapy platforms can be helpful if you aren’t having luck otherwise.
Give yourself permission to unplug and stop doom scrolling. While there is no “right way” to cope with traumatic events like what happened in Uvalde and so many times before, give yourself permission to feel whatever complex emotions you are experiencing while also giving yourself space and time to take breaks and turns off screens. When you have IBD, being cognizant of what triggers you and recognizing how your symptoms speak to you, can allow you to stay one step ahead of the game in managing your illness. Focus on what’s tangible, what’s right in front of you, and what you are able to control.